Dirty Succession Game

[Zedd]

A boat has left WhalePoo, but without a crew! How am I supposed to give us a despicable reputation with just a trireme

I was trying to track down the mongol boat and get our dirty rep off to a start, But you succeded in that very nicely

[Old n Slow]

Originally posted by duke o' york
...We're down to questionable, but more work is needed here. ...

Lines we don't typically see in other games.

[debeest]

Well, that's pretty damn annoying. I spent a couple hours last night doing a careful check of what Zedd had left us, and then playing about 12 turns. To just about 60 AD, in fact. Kind of liked what I had done, too. I guess I misunderstood your last post, Duke. If you didn't want me to play, what did you post for?

[Bloody Monk]

The latest zip save from the duke is empty. Nothing there to unzip.

The way is clear for someone to post a save for around 60ad.

Monk

[debeest]

I'm loading up to finish the twenty turns now.

[debeest]

Debeest I succeeds Zedd I, whose reign was untimely cut short. Well, let’s see what we’ve got here.

Eh? What’s this? LUX-URIES!! 20% of our trade being frittered away on lux-uries!! Oh, a man of the PEE-PLE, are we? Well, we’ll have none of that! The PEE-PLE can just work harder if they want a softer life. 40-60-0 adds 8 gp per turn to our coffers.

Eh? Look! An en-ter-TAIN-er in Dung City! Well, he can just get out and work the fields for a while. Two food and a shield will keep us ALL happy.

Ohmigosh! Another en-ter-TAIN-er, right here in Muddville! Let’s put that guy to work collecting taxes. We’ve got a king in his royal palace here; what more entertainment could the people possibly want? Perhaps we’ll let them in to see the exotic creatures in our gardens once in awhile.

Aaack! Noshower is a city on the verge of growth, and the people would rise up against me! A dirty trap left by my predecessor. I salute you, Zedd. Now THERE’s a city that needs an entertainer. Pity about all those fish, but we’ll soon be catching them again.

Rubbish Tip. What is that city on the tip of, anyway? Or is it only that the people there feel free to tip their rubbish anywhere they like? Mmmmmm. Good citizens! Must reward them. Let them work a roaded plains instead of that grassland. No need for the city to grow fast yet.

Scum City. Proud people, working hard, producing much – but that extra shield is going to waste. Let’s get some gold by working the roaded area instead.

Oh, my. Deceit has whales that must be worked. Mustn’t let those big fellas to go waste. We won’t need that entertainer there, either, if we build a warrior right away. Done. Treasury is low, but we’ll start bringing in some cash now.

Barbarians at the gates of Lost Soap, but Zedd has prepared well for that.

All right, that’s about it for the administrative detail. Now, what about the big picture?

Without aqueducts, there’s little reason to grow by celebrating, and therefore much less incentive to learn republic. We’re going to want lots of modest-sized cities. But with no Wonders, happiness is already becoming an issue, and every new city will upset the people more. We’ll need either lots of martial law, or lots of luxuries, or lots of public buildings.

Given our intentions, we’re going to be a highly militaristic people. Further reasons not to go to republic: don’t want the people unhappy about units in the field, and don’t want the Senate interfering with our plans.

Perhaps we’ll want to explore a long, celebrating monarchy.

Without Marco Polo, it’s going to be terribly difficult to meet other peoples in this ribbon world. We’ll need to be sure to send diplomats on all of our ships. Looks like Zedd has that well in hand.

On this ribbon world, we probably won’t have much contact with anyone but one neighbor to the east and one to the west at any given time. We may be at war with everyone, but only two of them at a time will matter. Sea power may not be important: we may be able to march from island to island without needing lots of ships.

With only two neighbors at a time, and being at war with everyone, we’re going to have trouble developing any foreign trade. So we’ll want to plant colonies on islands as soon as we can; fortunately the dirty trick black click reveals many of them nearby. And we’ll need to make sure our domestic cities are well connected by road to enhance trade. Why are our cities so far apart!?!?!

The biggest problem will be building lots of cities without making the people upset. New cities that need entertainers are practically worthless, and they make existing cities unhappy too. Temples in every city are too expensive right now. I think the way to deal with it is to grow cities to size 3 and get them celebrating, then cut back when the extra trade comes in – then build more. For now, build only a few island colonies, and fill in the gaps between domestic cities to make sure that we have station cities for road connections.

Caravans are worthless at this point in the game – the delivery bonus is tiny, and both of our existing routes are netting zero trade right now. And we don’t need Wonders.

So, I don’t want to build settlers and shrink our cities. And there’s little point in building caravans this early. What to build? Martial law units. Diplomat and trireme explorer combinations.

OK, let’s go.

-225 rush warrior in Sleezebag so the entertainer can go fishing
-150 village at 394,36 --> horsemen; chariot kills barb archer by Lost Soap
-125 build Sordid; build Feculent; meet purple trireme right next to them
-100 purple trireme dies against Dirty trireme! build Vermin; rush warrior in Sordid
-75 build Foul Play
-50 literacy; studying philosophy in accordance with our predecessor’s wishes
-25 build Vileness; meet Mongols, make peace (oh boy!!); refuse to trade for warrior code
AD 60 build Fetid; blackfaces beginning to appear
80 build Squalor; find Nishapur, establish embassy – huh, they had a lot more than warrior code! trade for polytheism and ironworking, reaffirm peace, which is good because they had multiple units, including an elephant, heading for Vileness
120 time to build temples now; 70% taxes; Mongols declare war before I can even get a dip there to steal tech!; so I have to deliver a caravan to Bokhara even though it’s not demanded (60 gp)
140 Mongols destroy Vileness, steal currency; we discover Philosophy and the Golden Age begins; choices
all stink, so we learn medicine because it’s fairly advanced; studying monotheism
160 village at 353,31 --> 8 barb horsemen; bribe one, but it barely whips its first opponent
180 barbs kill horsie and dip
200 village at 362,36 --> monotheism; village at 4,8 --> nomads -- a nice little present for my successor

[Scouse Gits]

Now that sounds goooood!

[duke o' york]

Well done for getting us the chance to explode our crooks onto the world, but what news of our reputation? You seemed to make peace with the Mongols and then let them declare war! That does nothing to sully our rep! As far as I understood the rules to this game, we had to get the worst rep as soon as possible. My abortive turns (.sav still available for comparitive purposes if anyone would like it) at least got us to questionable, but you seemed to be very respectable. We want backstabbing and gunboat diplomacy! We want sleaze and scandalmongering!

[duke o' york]

Sorry if you misunderstood me debeest - I posted that I wasn't sure if I could play on Wednesday night, and that if I arrived here on Thursday morning and said I had been unable to play, then I'd be most grateful if someone could play in my stead, and I'd pick the game up on Friday afternoon.
As it is, I got mixed up with my files when uploading, and you got the chance to play anyway, so I'll post the results of my latest endeavours on Monday morning (unless my throat infection gets worse and I have to stay away from work ). This time I'll try to post the right file. . I'm sorry about the mix-up with the play order, but I'll fit in after you in future - that's fine.

[debeest]

Duke, in the cool light of morning I feel bad about jumping on you like that. I had kind of pushed to get it done by Friday, and then it was just a shock to see that you had done it. Mea culpa.

You're so right about reputation. That's the area where I felt that I let the team down. The reason it worked out that way: I built Vileness on the very eastern tip of Mongolia, and then immediately encountered the Mongols before I even had a unit there, either to attack them or to defend Vileness. I could have stolen a tech, but I had just refused to trade for warrior code and I still didn't want it, so I built an embassy instead. And then they attacked before I could! Treacherous Mongols! They're dirtier than we are!

I fully trust you to rectify my omission.

[Old n Slow]

Well Duke, it looks like you'll get that rarest of chances -- a second shot to make a good first impression.

[duke o' york]

We'll see how this changes anything then. Not a bad impression I wouldn't have thought, apart from my triumphant entry into the sticky keyboard academy.

200AD (0) - I change all of the elephants under construction into crooks. If we're going to hit the Mongrels where it hurts, then they aren't going to get up afterwards! Otherwise, things seem to be progressing nicely, and I press return.
220AD (1) - Chinese start Great Library. Might be useful to capture while it's still working, as we'll get tonnes of techs from the turns it takes to kill the city. :b Well by the end of my turn, I have only one crook on a ship pointing toward Mongolia, but many more are in production. Our armies of settlers are all busy, and the exploration is going well.
240AD (2) - I decide that since it is the best-positioned city with the best production, then Whalepoo needs a barracksw to get some better crooks out.
260AD (3) - Dip gets 50g from a hut to the south of Dirty Dealings. The city of Nearly dead is found in a hut on the land mass to the east, but since it's one square off a vaguely decent one, then I think I shall spend the 50g rushing a settler. I also lose a trireme at sea by pressing the wrong key because I'm not entirely used to the controls on the laptop, but it didn't have a crew. I apologise to all for this.
280AD (4) - Hmmm.. the discovery of that advanced tribe has led to many places revolting. Damn! Oh well, I'll have to plan things carefully when I put the settler where I actually want him. Nobath builds a crook, and I notice that with 6 shields, that would be a good place for a barracks too. Crook goes searching for a passage to Mongolia.
300AD (5) - French and Aztecs start Great Library. I get HBR from a hut. Woohoo.
320AD (6) - An Aztec city I can't spell builds the Library. French abandon and Chinese change to Great Wall, and Aztecs change to Marco's. It'd be nice if they used it to tell us where they all are! Babs change to Marco, and the Mongrels abandon. I have a choice of a settler building a road across a hill, or through a forest. I choose the forest, so someone here tell me that was the right thing to do, because I can't remember the rates.
340AD (7) - Diplomat find the south pole. Boats with only 3 crooks aboard are approaching Mongrolia, and exploration continue across the globe.
360AD (8) - Ur builds Marco.
380AD (9) - Barb legions land next to Fetid. We're done for in that city. If they'd have given me a warning, then I could have done something, but there isn't even a ship with a dip on in the vicinity. Whalepoo finishes its barracks, and starts on some supermean crooks. I get some more crooks out of a hut but they're homed to Nearly dead! Must get them back across the sea!
400AD (10) - Apologies to debeest, who I believe to be the founder of Fetid, but I'm giving it to the barbs. 420AD (11) - For the price of 146g, the barbs can have the city. Now I shall have to think about protecting Dirty dealings from any further barb threat, and also buying myself some cheap legions. My dip discovers Karakorum, and signs peace. Let's see how long we remain spotless! Had to give them Philosophy, but if they want to build the wonders we need, then good for them. Unfortunately, we're only mighty, so they're not our key civ yet, but with all the crooks on-line, then they may well be soon. Karakorum hasn't got walls, is size 4, and I have 3 crooks in the area, but I'm going to wait for overwhelming and unnecessary force.
440AD (12) - The crooks start to take up positions around the Mongrel capital, and more will be arriving soon. I start to think about delivering some vans to our overseas cities to get some cash and beakers. A dip pops a legion from a hut, attached to Dirty dealings, but I'll still need the dip as the barbs will beat it in a race.
480AD (14) - I discover a Mongrel elephant on the same island as Dirty Dealings. What could this mean? There are now plenty of crooks in the Mongrel area, so I'll wait to see what happens with the ellie and then lay waste to their capital.
500AD (15) - Beijing builds the Great Wall. Ellie disappears, but another dip comes across a Mongrel explorer. Maybe there won't be any unpopped huts on their homeland then. We discover Masonry and I go for Construction so that we can build Colossea and get rid of the Elvii. I find a Mongrel trireme at the bottom of their land, but without a cargo. Will have enough crooks in a few turns to take several cities.
520AD (16) - Mongrels kick out one of my dips. Never mind, they'll be kicked out soon enough.
540AD (17) - Enough waiting. I cancel the treaty and smite the elephant Mongrelia have used to put between me and Karakorum. I capture it and take 67g. One defender and no walls!
560AD (18) - We're still spotless!!!!! I sign another treaty with Genghis and then attack straightaway, in the vain hope that this will work. Dumbass. I kill all of Nishapur's defenders but can't take the city by being as big an oaf as Genghis. I didn't attack with my triremes when they were down to one defender heavily in the red. Dope. I bribe the Mongol elephant by DDealings, and move the units towards reclaiming Fetid.
580AD (19) - We're dishonourable after capturing Nishapur and signing yet another cease fire. I wonder what breaking it would do? The Mongols are a complete shambles, and a worthless civ. Rolling them ought to be easy. Good luck to the next player, but you won't need it. Are we playing restarts here? Ceasefire is violated straightaway with the destruction of a wandering settler, and we're down to despicable. While I'm enjoying myself, I bribe Aleppo and move even more crooks into boats.
600AD (20) - A Mongol legion kills one of our crusaders after I couldn't retreat with 1/3 of a move left. No matter - they shall pay for their insolence! Oh yes! A stupid Mongol warrior offers a cease-fire. Want to guess what happened next. With his dying breath, he declared us atrocious. My work here is done. I then capture Bokhara for the hell of it. Camels are under construction in various places, dips are going to buy back Fetid, crooks are all over the Mongols, with more to come, and science is going nowhere fast. Who's up next?

Also please move the newly-build Nearly dead settler to the 4-special location. The crook has been rehomed, but xcheck this first. There's a warrior to defend/keep the peace, but the first citizen will be black.

[-Jrabbit]

Atrociousness achieved!!!

[Bloody Monk]

What a great log you provided, duke!! Makes it almost like being there. Need to go take a shower now.

Monk

[duke o' york]

Log smog! As long as the download works for eveyrone else (I already tested it), then that's all I'm interested in. Mind you, it's tough to remember the 'poly smilies when you're at home.

Besides, I'm not talking to you. My mummy told me never to talk to people with atrocious reputations!