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FG: Mafia 32 The Pen is Deadlier than the Sword

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  • FG: Mafia 32 The Pen is Deadlier than the Sword

    The setting was Chicago's McCormick Place, early June 2004. It was Book Expo America 2004. Tens of thousands of authors, publishers, booksellers, and librarians packed the building, looking to find out about new books coming out in 2005, to meet their favorite authors (and fans!), and, most importantly, to get dozens of promos. Rent a car with a large trunk, folks - you'll need the room, if you're going to be a seasoned BEA vet.

    But not everyone was there for the promos. Some of them were there for ... murder.


    The authors:
    Code:
     rah	        George Carlin
     Ari Rahikkala	Bill Bryson
     Hercules	Ann Rule
     Tuberski	Dave Barry
     Nikolai	Tom Clancy
     duke o' york	Joyce Carol Oates
     Jon Miller	David Sedaris
     Sparrowhawk	Joseph Ellis
     DrSpike	Elmore Leonard
     civman2000	Robert Parker
     Adagio	        David McCullough
     Kassiopeia	Alice Sebold
     Adrian Hon	China Mièville
     Lord Nuclear	Jonathan Safran Foer
     Jonny	        Erik Larson
     Nikolai	Hunter S. Thompson (for -Jrabbit)
     Whoha	        Paul Theroux
     Skanky Burns	Neil Gaiman
     Ben Kenobi	John Irving
     Ljube-Ljcvetko	Tom Wolfe
     Reismark	Orson Scott Card
     Joncha	        George Pelecanos
    The GM:
    Snoopy369: my user name at yahoo ...
    Attached Files
    Last edited by snoopy369; March 16, 2005, 10:43.
    <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
    I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

  • #2
    Thursday, June 4, At the Random House Exhibit
    Bill Bryson, Dave Barry, Joseph Ellis, China Mièville, Erik Larson, and John Irving are sitting at one of the tables, several minutes before the exhibit opens to the public.
    "How's the new book going, China?" asked Bill.
    "Eh, not bad. Iron Council is going to be hard to top, but that's ok, I'm up to the challenge."
    "Sounds like you'll do okay in the business with that attitude," responded Bill. "Of course, you write Science Fiction, so you'll never be a big hit, like me. But I'm sure HUNDREDS of nerds out there will be very impressed with it!"
    "Hey, there's no call to say that," said Erik Larson. "Just because he doesn't write serious work, doesn't mean he's not entitled to some respect. After all, Cider House Rules wasn't exactly an accurate recount either, but enough liberals liked it for it to make the best seller list ..."
    "Woah, what are you talking about?" asked John Irving. "My books are very serious--"
    "John, it's just not the same thing when you're writing about things that didn't happen," said Joseph Ellis. "Even Dave here writes about his own life, even if he does embellish it a little. You fiction writers, though, you get to make everything up. Erik and I have to work with what really happened, no matter how dull it is. You have it easy - if something dull should have happened in one of your books, you just don't write about it, and instead write something interesting in its place."
    "What? You're crazy," said China. "You don't have to spend months coming up with a basic plot. You have history to give you the plots. All you do is take someone else's story and say it again, in your own words. I have to make up my own world and everything in it, not to mention the history, AND make sure it's believable enough for my fan to like it."
    "Ok guys, the fans are almost here. Break up the fight and let's get out there and present one face to the public..." says Dave, who naturally is the conciliator of the group.

    Elsewhere, at the Penguin Putnam Pavilion ...
    Tom Clancy and Robert Parker are sitting at a table, across from a pair of cute publishing interns.
    "Hey Tom, been a while since you wrote a hit, eh?" said Robert. "I mean, you can live on the kind of publicity you get from Hunt for Red October for only so long, eh? Red Rabbit wasn't exactly Clancy material ..."
    "Oh yeah, like you outsold it with Melancholy Baby," retorts Tom. "That Spenser character is a bit worn, isn't he? At least I have the sense to mix it up a bit, throw in some nonfiction every so often ..."
    "Yeh, right. You probably didn't even write the last couple of those. Shadow Warriors? You needed *two* coauthors on that one. And don't get me started about your Net Force series. You don't have anything to do with those at all, except picking up a check!"
    "Well, excuuse me for making a few extra dollars AND helping new authors out."


    Orson Scott Card walks over from the nearby Tor exhibit. "You two guys doing alright? I thought I heard shouting going on. Don't tell me all is not right in the land of the mystery/thriller?"

    "Yeh, whatever. You scifi people creep me out. And that military stuff you write, Orson, it's just not right. Go back to writing books about religious figures. At least then you don't screw up naval orders and make a mockery out of our men in uniforms."
    "Yeah, and this whole writing the same plot twice thing is disgusting, too. At least Tom and I are writing *different* books each time ..."

    "Well, nice to see that my stopping by had a positive effect on your relationship, at least. If you're even in Utah, give me a call. Maybe I can hook you up with a nice restaurant or something. Anyway, the public will be here soon, so ta-ta."

    In the Harper-Collins Exhibit Area ...

    Joyce Carol Oates, Jonathan Safran Foer, and Elmore Leonard are swapping stories of their writing, when Neil Gaiman steps in. "Heya, guys and gal, how are you finding yourselves these days? How's the world of American fiction treating you?"
    "Right, Neil. You mean Writing. Run along now and let us talk about our writing. I hear the comics pavilion has room for some more Comic Book people," said Jonathan.
    "Hey, hey, I write books, too. American Gods was a huge best-seller and a smash hit over here!"
    "Yeh, whatever. Get a couple of films made based on your books, and then we'll talk to you," Elmore sneered.
    "Hey, Neverwhere was a great film, especially given the low budget we shot it on. Get Shorty wasn't exactly my idea of a cinematic masterpiece, and you had loads more money for that than we did. And besides, Jonathan here hasn't had any movies yet."
    "Yeah, but he's not a Comic Book man. He knows where he belongs - with the Writers of Novels."
    "Sheesh, I know when i'm not wanted." Neil wanders off towards the D.C. Comics pavilion, where his pal Dave McKeon is standing, talking to George Carlin.

    "Hey George, how's it going?"
    "Hey, not bad, Neil. Sounded like those guys were using the Seven Dirty Words an awful lot. You talking to them like an Author again?"
    "Hey, I am an author!"
    "Yeh, right, me too. Tell you what. Next time one of us writes a real book, the other can buy him a car. Think GM will be taking a check from me any time soon?"
    "You're just being mean, now."
    "Hey man, I tell it like it is. Now let's go hit the refreshment stands before those losers start coming in. I don't want to be seen around you with the public around - those nerds that always hang around you give me chickenpox or something."


    At the Time Warner Annex...
    "So, Dave, what's it like being shelved next to 2002's big hit?" asks Alice Sebold.
    "Well, if your book had any staying power, then maybe more people would read mine as a result. But since you're just a one-hit wonder, nobody seems to care."
    "Hey, I wrote two successful books..."
    "Right. Lucky was the same book, just non-fiction. And it didn't sell a lick until after Lovely Bones was out, even though it was written earlier. That was pure spill-over."
    "Hey, I know who would love to hear you two talk about this ... Tom Wolfe. I bet he has tons of stories about one-hit wonders." George Pelecanos was a bit tired of their bickering. "Then maybe I can get a rest, before I get attacked by fans of my hit mystery series."
    "George, George, one of these days we'll convince you to write a book that actually means something. I mean, Alice here may be a one-hit wonder, but her novel struck a chord in the hearts of millions, and gave hope to those without hope. My books bring a lightness to the world as well, a lightness of humor while considering the serious world we live in. Perhaps someday you'll write something ... mainstream?"
    "Yeah, Dave, you are just jealous that I get a bigger following than you in these things. You're one of those authors whose books are purchased mostly just to have on the bookshelf, not actually read but so that you can hear other people whisper, "Oh, he has Naked on his bookshelf, how hip. I bet his wife gets really lucky at night ... My readers actually read my books."

    "Okay, whatever. Here they come, let's get ready ..."


    At the S&S table ...
    "Hunter, you didn't actually do all those things in Fear and Loathing, did you?" asked Ann Rule. "I mean, you could practically star in one of MY books at that rate. It's a wonder you haven't killed anyone yet, with all those drugs and the violence all around you."
    "Ann, I could never kill a fly. I'm just a misunderstood youth, who happens to be nearly seventy. I expand my mind, true, but that doesn't mean I'm a nut case."
    "Yeah, well, remember you're talking to the expert on nut cases here, Hunter," inserted David McCullough. "I mean, John Adams may have been a loon, but Ann here has literally gotten in the mind of some of our craziest killers. It's a wonder she's still all here herself."
    "David, now, as a fellow historian I would think you would have some respect for what I do. It's all well and good to write about some guy who lived hundreds of years ago, and left thousands of pages of writing, plus thousands more pages of opinions other people wrote and said about him. It's another to write a book about a deranged psychopathic killer, who left no notes behind, and nobody knew well enough to describe him beyond 'Woah, that guy was far out'."
    "Whatever, you two. Watch out, those people are starting to get in. We might want to go out the back way ..."
    "Hunter, you actually have to *greet* your fans. That's the point of a signing event ..."
    "Yeah, whatever."

    ...
    And they all went off to their respective booths or signing tables, not thinking any further on the heated discussions of the morning.

    To be continued ...
    Last edited by snoopy369; March 13, 2005, 02:40.
    <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
    I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

    Comment


    • #3
      And you're off! Mafia have been notified, and the first ... selection ... will be made soon enough (24-48 hours, hopefully). Then the speculation can begin

      And please feel free to give me feedback/advice as we go. I'm new to this, so I may do things differently from how you're used to - I'll try to keep the game running like the last few did, but I obviously didn't see the behind-the-scenes things going on. And i'll try to be obvious enough but not too obvious on the clues, to keep the game interesting
      Last edited by snoopy369; March 13, 2005, 02:47.
      <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
      I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

      Comment


      • #4
        Damn! I hope it's not too late for a character request...

        Orson Scott Card, please?
        CGN | a bunch of incoherent nonsense
        Chris Jericho: First-Ever Undisputed Champion of Professional Wrestling & God Incarnate
        Mystique & Aura: Appearing Nightly @ Yankee Stadium! | Red & Pewter Pride
        Head Coach/General Manager, Kyrandia Dragonhawks (2004 Apolyton Fantasy Football League Champions)

        Comment


        • #5
          lol ... it's a bit late yes But, coincidentally you asked for someone with the same publisher as the person I assigned you - so it doesn't affect things much Change made shortly.
          <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
          I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

          Comment


          • #6
            There better be some russkies for Jack Ryan to fry...

            Oh wait, we're in the real world, are we?
            Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
            I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
            Also active on WePlayCiv.

            Comment


            • #7
              \o/
              This is Shireroth, and Giant Squid will brutally murder me if I ever remove this link from my signature | In the end it won't be love that saves us, it will be mathematics | So many people have this concept of God the Avenger. I see God as the ultimate sense of humor -- SlowwHand

              Comment


              • #8
                snoopy: Couldn't you make a real title to the thread? I'm sure rah will help you out. Maybe something like "Mafia 32: Crime authours?"
                Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
                I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
                Also active on WePlayCiv.

                Comment


                • #9


                  I prefer my GO avatar.
                  Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    early post for my threads" purposes.

                    Nice setup, snoopy.
                    Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
                    RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Nikolai
                      snoopy: Couldn't you make a real title to the thread? I'm sure rah will help you out. Maybe something like "Mafia 32: Crime authours?"
                      I leave the thread title up to your imagination.
                      <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
                      I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Nikolai
                        snoopy: Couldn't you make a real title to the thread? I'm sure rah will help you out. Maybe something like "Mafia 32: Crime authours?"
                        Mafia 32 is only the working title.........



                        ACK!
                        Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!

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                        • #13
                          Interesting game.

                          Did you have this character assigned to me Snoopy?
                          Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                          "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                          2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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                          • #14
                            John Irving you mean?
                            <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
                            I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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                            • #15
                              Jamski

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