There's an obviously closeted old Christian guy at work who hits on me

[MrFun]

If he wasn't management, pepper spray could have been a viable option.

[Asher]

I hate living in countries where people are openly gay. I get shivers down my spine when one flirts at me; I feel sick in the stomach.

Why won't girls do that. (More girls than usual I mean).

You are truly pathetic.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Yes, he most definitely is.

[Flubber]

I keep my private life private, for the most part.

Only my immediate family knows as well, not the extended (though I'm not at all close with the extended, don't really care).

All my friends know, though.

Being out at work just fails the basic cost/benefit analysis.

Cost: Potentially career-limiting, running into homphobes.
Benefits: Get to bring spouse to boring Christmas parties?

Note on my HR policies, like my life insurance and for my RRSP (CDN 401K), my partner is listed as a beneficiary but that is processed by HR in Montreal and no one in my office.

While I agree with your analyses on the risks of being "out" at work , I am saddened that this continues to be a very real fear and consideration.

But it is one for sure. A female friend of mine thinks she is being squeezed out of involvement in new work from her biggest client because a female very conservative manager within that client would disapprove of her lifestyle. (She doesn't "out" herself generally but also doesn't hide her situation). But she personally is losing out but really cannot broach the subject with the client since the work still comes to her firm and she would have a duty not to screw that up

[MikeH]

While I agree with your analyses on the risks of being "out" at work , I am saddened that this continues to be a very real fear and consideration.

Yeah.

[rah]

It's sad when you have the person that everyone is 99% sure is gay at work, but is still hiding it. I think it diminishes the person a bit. They can't be who they are.

For dealing with this guy, I recommend the next time he's coming on to you, just look up and say, you remind be a little of father. He's around your age, maybe a bit younger.

That will take care of that problem.

[Flubber]

For dealing with this guy, I recommend the next time he's coming on to you, just look up and say, you remind be a little of father. He's around your age, maybe a bit younger.

That will take care of that problem.

wasn't this "really old guy" something like 32 (to Asher's 25)-- I don't recall and this site is too slow for me to be assed to check

[Theben]

Just "you remind me of my dad" will be sufficient.

[rah]

but making him think that you think he looks that old regardless of his real age is the nail in the coffin.

[Ben Kenobi]

But it is one for sure. A female friend of mine thinks she is being squeezed out of involvement in new work from her biggest client because a female very conservative manager within that client would disapprove of her lifestyle.

I wish I had that choice. I really don't see the issue, business is business. Worst case you lose your job, but at the very least you've been hired and making money for quite some time. Some of us have to face the gauntlet right at the start.

[Wezil]

I could see that. I'd never hire an open Christian fundie.

[Ben Kenobi]

It's more the disability. Had a friend of mine apply with me for the same job. He did it at my request as I was interested in seeing the response. I had relevant experience he had none. Otherwise the applications were identical.

He stopped laughing when he got an interview and I didn't.

My experience has been that I can get the job if I know someone who works there, otherwise it's just not going to happen. I have also found business has been better when I don't wear my hearing aids. People deal with you straight up.

I like my current boss, and I've been working with him for a long time. He's passed me quite a few contracts over the years, which works well for the both of us, as he deals with the client for the most part. I just have to get the work done, and the client is happy because they get a good price.

[Wezil]

It's more the disability.

Sorry, but I am referring to the disability.

[Asher]

I wish I had that choice. I really don't see the issue, business is business. Worst case you lose your job, but at the very least you've been hired and making money for quite some time. Some of us have to face the gauntlet right at the start.

Yes. Life is tough to be a straight white male Christian in the US and Canada.

Cry me a ****ing river.

[Asher]

It's more the disability. Had a friend of mine apply with me for the same job. He did it at my request as I was interested in seeing the response. I had relevant experience he had none. Otherwise the applications were identical.

He stopped laughing when he got an interview and I didn't.

How would they even know about the disability from the application?

More likely they saw that you were mentally incompetent. The kind of guy who starts off doing a real degree in university then promptly drops that to go to some no-name small-time rural BC school and get a history degree.

Huge number of red flags there.