Thread for obviously newsworthy stuff

[-Jrabbit]

It's the Babylon Bee, the religious right's attempt at a news satire site.
A sad little version of The Onion, but for evangelicals.

[Kidlicious]

Some people

[rah]

It would be nice if you provided the source for your quotes. If you're embarrassed to, we will understand.

[Kidlicious]

New Law Requires You To Listen To Greta Thunberg Lecture Before Purchasing Gasoline
October 7th, 2019



U.S.—A series of new bills working their way through state legislatures in New York, California, Oregon, Hawaii, and several other progressive states will require you to listen to a Greta Thunberg lecture before purchasing gasoline.

Motorists will be required to watch a 20-minute lecture by the 16-year-old climate activist before they purchase gallons and gallons of harmful fossil fuels.

"We want to make sure drivers are informed," said California Governor Gavin Newsom, who says he will sign the bill into law. "So we are having them get lectured by a 16-year-old so they will have all the facts before they do something rash like put gasoline in their cars to go to work."

Once the driver has listened to Thunberg's entire lecture, they will be prompted to complete a quick, fifteen-question quiz to show they understand how horrible they are for driving a car. Drivers who get at least 80% will then be allowed to refuel their vehicles. As they refuel, the screen will simply play a clip of Thunberg saying, "How dare you!" over and over again.

The law will not apply to celebrities purchasing jet fuel.

[Kidlicious]

Learn what a fact is

[-Jrabbit]

Before the whistleblower complaint, there was literally ZERO mention of Biden being investigated. Not by the Trump campaign. Not by the DOJ. Not by Giuliani. Not by any of the 2 dozen Democratic candidates. Nothing. Biden is a convenient distraction.

[-Jrabbit]

There's no argument. It's a simple fact: There is no such thing as the Deep State.

[pchang]

And Kid exceeds it.

[Proteus_MST]

Please be peak stupid

Trump always aims for this goal ... and he usually reaches it

[rah]

I'm down with that. The Clinton can share the next cell over for all I care.

[giblets]

Put Biden and Trump in a cell together, not sure what Biden did but we have to be bipartisan.

[rah]

I'm still betting he still claims executive priv and refuses.

[Broken_Erika]

Trump tax returns must be given to prosecutor, judge rules
A judge has ordered US President Donald Trump to hand over eight years of his tax returns to a New York state criminal investigation.

The judge rejected arguments by the president's lawyers that total immunity protects him while in office.

Mr Trump is the only presidential candidate since the 1960s apart from Gerald Ford not to release tax returns.

The ruling helps an investigation into hush money paid to two women who claim they had affairs with Mr Trump.

In his 75-page decision on Monday, Judge Victor Marrero said he could not allow a "categorical and limitless assertion of presidential immunity from judicial process".

"The only truly absolute about presidential immunity from criminal process is the Constitution' s silence about the existence and contours of such an exemption," he wrote.

Judge Marrero concluded that the president's argument, at its core, was "repugnant to the nation's governmental structure and constitutional values".

Mr Trump's lawyers immediately filed an emergency appeal with a higher court.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49963910

[rah]

If you do the crime you should do the time.

[Kidlicious]

Is that supposed to be an argument that there isn't a coordinated attack on the President within the government?