Ex

[Lorizael]

Women generally don't want men who mope obsessively about their ex so stop doing that and you will dramatically improve your odds of meeting the future Mrs. Lori.

Duh, *******.

[-Jrabbit]

I just started a full-time job with my university, doing archival work for NASA. This may be the beginning of a real career that will allow me to turn my finances around, maintain a decent lifestyle, all that.

That's great news, Lori. Congrats!

[Everything else in this thread is old and recycled. Talk about burying the lead...]

[Pekka]

Sorry to hear this Lori.

I still love my ex GF, more than I ever loved someone. It is difficult to move on. You feel as if there is no one else out there, or at least not as good or fascinating, and therefore you are doomed to be miserable. Maybe you think there might be a chance in the future? Maybe she gets divorced and you get back together, and then you'll feel great again?

These would be extremely common thoughts, and there's nothing wrong in it. Hoping, for years to come. You'd do anything to continue with her, even be patient and wait, while suffering in your own misery. This must be one of the most common stories of all people, men and women. Broken hearts and dreams. It hurts the most afterwards.

Sorry, I've no tips for you. Time will heal, and getting involved with new women. In the future, you'll be able to transfer all those feelings and desire to love toward someone else. You take the little things in your ex, that makes her unique, the idiosyncrasies, and you'd believe they're one of a kind. While that might be true, you'll find the unique details in another person, too. You have the capability to love, you just need someone to direct it to. So no advice here, perhaps talking to a therapist could help. I know I talk about my ex (not wife), a whole lot. I miss her every single day. Or maybe posting here helps you a bit. Just take care of yourself. Often broken hearts are worse than wounds of the flesh.

[rah]

Hey, over the years you've complained about your lack of degree and meaningful job. You have overcome.
Now overcome on the other stuff. No one can do everything at once. To feel like a failure because you couldn't is just silly.

[Lorizael]

...perhaps talking to a therapist could help.

Heh. Oh yes, I already know what my next session will be about.

[Ben Kenobi]

Look at my life before the ex and I broke up, though. We lived together in a house, had a gaming group we gamed with, a writing group we wrote with, we exercised, we made dinner, we had a cat, we visited family during the holidays, we went out and met new people, we went on adventures together, we watched shows and lectures together, we read and edited each other's stories. We had this rich and engaging life together.

Lori, I think if you go through the old threads that my advice to you was that if the *only* reason you were breaking up with her is because she wanted kids and you didn't that this was a ****ty reason to break up with someone. Look, you loved the lady. I can understand *why* at the time you might have been scared about it but, the issue then was that you weren't ready for that life of responsibility and that it was easier to bail out than to man up and say challenge accepted.

[Lorizael]

Lori, I think if you go through the old threads that my advice to you was...

Christ you're insufferable. I'm not sure how you got off ignore, but you're going back on.

[Ben Kenobi]

I just started a full-time job with my university, doing archival work for NASA. This may be the beginning of a real career that will allow me to turn my finances around, maintain a decent lifestyle, all that.

Ok. Let's recap.

You went back to school - got through school, got a ****ing degree and now you have a full time job with your university. That's huge.

You've made enormous strides in turning your life around.

Clearly, I am capable of taking charge of my life and doing things

You say your focus was 'narrow'. Did you succeed, or did you not succeed?

YOU SUCCEEDED. **** all how you managed to pull it off or moping that you didn't get the bonus ****. You succeeded. End of story. Lots of people don't have the courage to go back, and even fewer stick with it. Even fewer finish what they started - on time, need I remind you. Every ****ING GOAL REQUIRES SACRIFICES!!!

End of story. You have to give up something to get something. You gave up and you got what you wanted.

[Ben Kenobi]

I'm not sure how you got off ignore, but you're going back on.

LOL. Touched a nerve did I. Anyhoo. You'll miss what I had to say after. Serves you right.

[Ming]

You'll miss what I had to say after.

No great loss... relationship advice from you... HAHAHAHAHAHAAH
An old fart who never could find a woman that would be his slave and marry him.
A person who admits he wouldn't go to his daughters wedding if she was gay (the good news is, he doesn't have a daughter to screw over)

BK is one of the last people you would want to listen to when it comes to relationships... Heck, he even thinks his friend should be discriminated against simply because he is gay...

[Ben Kenobi]

No great loss... relationship advice from you... HAHAHAHAHAHAAH

I'm actually pretty happy with my relationship.

An old fart who never could find a woman that would be his slave and marry him.

You might want to turn down a notch from extra froth to just regular froth.

A person who admits he wouldn't go to his daughters wedding if she was gay (the good news is, he doesn't have a daughter to screw over)

Thankfully at present I still have the right to not go. It wouldn't be the first family wedding I've missed either. You're free to disagree, but at least one of us won't end up in jail for disagreeing. California's trying to put nurses in jail if they use the incorrect pronoun. Here's a hint. If you're trying to browbeat people into submission, you're on team fascist.

BK is one of the last people you would want to listen to when it comes to relationships... Heck, he even thinks his friend should be discriminated against simply because he is gay...

As I said, been pretty happy this last while.

[rah]

Thankfully at present I still have the right to not go

Yes, you do have the right to be a crappy parent. Hurrah.

[Ben Kenobi]

Yes, you do have the right to be a crappy parent. Hurrah.

I expect soon that I will be fined or arrested for choosing not to go.

[rah]

It wouldn't change the fact that by choosing not to go makes you an awful parent. And your expectations are plain silly, but I'm sure you'll pull out an example that isn't even close and claim it is.

[Elok]

Heh. Oh yes, I already know what my next session will be about.

[announcer voice] NEXT TIME on Loritherapy . . . [/AV]

Don't have much to input here, but if you do never see her again, and your main reaction to seeing her was to make yourself miserable, it's probably for the best. I met my wife online, and chatted with her continually for a year before I even met her in person. I don't think I'd recommend dating sites, but have you tried just looking for interesting online communities with women to see if anything happens?