Apolyton Job Fair (serious thread)

[Sava]

Sean, my specialty is accommodating individuals with "special" needs... like myself.

I suffer from a debilitating mental illness that, at times, prevents me from looking my own wife in the face. I've been able to design a lifestyle with comprehensive strategies that facilitate my productivity.

Whatever you need, we'll help you get it.

But there are a set of minimum standards, protocols and decorum in a workplace environment... that, quite frankly, you demonstrate ZERO ability over the years in being able to effectively integrate culturally with, what I would classify as basic, polite, common, decent society.

I can't have you, in your free time, running down to the corner with graphic pictures of abortions just because you happen to think that, A, that's a worthwhile cause, and B, it is something that you are in any way capable of affecting. Don't be a dog barking a cars. That's totally useless to me.

[Sava]

I don't care what your, or anyone's else's views are. Your disruptive behavior disqualifies you from employment. You have the unique skill of being able to make everyone hate you.

Fortunately for me, there's no actual job offer to disqualify you for. I'm just giving my personal opinion with regards to your talents, skills, usefulness, and general employ-ability.

Also, General Employ Ability. We salute you.

[Sava]

People who contact me.

I have one outstanding task I need completed. It will be your first test. I'll pay an hourly rate for your work. We'll set a cap. You'll do the work. You'll tell me what I need to give you. You'll get it done.

If you are interested, contact me. Agree to NDA terms. I will present the task.

The only criteria I will judge will be my evaluation of whether or not you can complete the current task.

Bonus points if you can do this again when I ask.

Bonus points (and salaried position in spring 2017) if you are good at getting **** done.

From now until then, I'll put dead presidents in your hand/account to do what I need done.

You can do most of this remotely.

However, ability to meet me in Portland, Oregon in October is a must.

[Sava]

You are always competing against someone who can do the job better and for less money. Be competent. You'll be paid for that. Be responsive. You'll be paid for that. Put up with me. You're really mostly being paid for that.

You are also competing against my personal ability to get things done. If I happen to find the services I need myself, I won't have you do it.

You might not even need to do the job itself, but rather be good enough at finding someone who does. Connect me with them. You get paid. Job gets done.

[Sava]

Ideally, I'd love to give you lists.

I am good at finding the things. You find the people... and talk to them for me.

Turn my garbled, hyper intense, creative outbursts into meaningful action. I know what I want. Slow me down. Ask direct questions.

Don't be rude. But be direct. Knock me off my train of thought. Interrupt me if necessary. Present your ideas. Do so with the confidence that everything you think of will be judged fairly and without consequence. Even your wildest, inebriated thoughts could be valuable. I want them all.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

I'm a Risk Analyst specialising in the detection and prevention of money laundering and terrorism funding.

[Sava]

This is the first time I'm expressing all of this to other people. I need your feedback.

I need to refine the message.

I need to narrow down goals.

I need to figure out what people need to know to do the job.

I need you to listen. Translate. Make sure the strategic vision is executed.

[Sava]

I'm a Risk Analyst specialising in the detection and prevention of money laundering and terrorism funding.

What can you do that is relevant to the needs I've mentioned?

I will need people to talk to investment groups, banks, and present ideas/plans when loans are more appropriate than up front purchases. I need people experienced in speaking that language.

Risk analysis. Wonderful. Could you look at the business plan, financials, and present a refined vision to investors?

Reassuring everyone involved that nothing of that sort is occurring is essential. I need to be transparent and present clear plans to government as well.

We will eventually deal with the City of Chicago. I have a personal connection to the mayor that will allow me direct access necessary to present a plan. I need people to talk to city officials and secure approvals for various projects.

One strategic vision includes development of the Illinois Michigan canal corridor along I-55.

We want to further develop and implement our existing technologies. I want to acquire the water treatment plant in Stickney. I will need people to talk to Stickney, the state, the county, and the federal government.

We are going to replace everything that exists. Scrap existing equipment and assemble our new technologies. We will provide water treatment services to the City of Chicago, the State of Illinois, the counties, local towns, cities and villages, and all residents inside our service area.

Our plan offers theses services at lower costs than existing programs.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Risk analysis. Wonderful. Could you look at the business plan, financials, and present a refined vision to investors?

No. But I can tell the people drafting those items which bits are illegal, immoral, or just really ****ing stupid.

[Sava]

I've been working on startups. Plural.

The execution of the strategic vision is beginning.

I've been securing investment, acquiring equipment, designing and developing new technologies, processes, business plans... that's what I've been doing all this time.

I have everything I need. Now it is time to spend money to make money.

I want to spend a lot of money. I have so much money to spend. In addition, I'm going to walk into offices and ask for all the money investors will give me.

We will be securing tens of millions in loans for real estate and equipment using existing assets and projected earnings to meet the necessary criteria. My wife will be the official face of all of this. She is from St. Louis... Ferguson area, though she moved around a lot. She will be a prominent CEO. Her status as an African American woman will also help her qualify for programs more suited towards urban development and minority business ownership programs/goals.

SBA loans.

I want some.

Relevant companies will be structured to be ideal candidates.

[Sava]

No. But I can tell the people drafting those items which bits are illegal, immoral, or just really ****ing stupid.

Useful.

I have a need for this job and a suitable compensation package based on market rates. PM me your info if you would like to receive a job offer (upon consideration).

[Sava]

Someone poke Krazyhorse, if you know him personally.

I need to meet some people in his world.

[Sava]

I need accountants to help me do the taxes.

[Sava]

Kucibros?

Are you silver spooned smartypant bastards as good as you should be considering the opportunities handed to you?

[Sava]

I need helping crossing t's, dotting i's.... and lower case j's

We need to meet all criteria