new OKC thread (yet another Savalog)

[ZEE]

I am Poasting in this thrade so I cKan seem like I fit in and am one of the "cKool Kids" and to also make myself seem moar intelligent and imPortant.

[-Jrabbit]

Use Facebook, not email. It's social media, so by definition, interaction is OK there. Just don't be stalker-y. Is she active? Just respond to one of her posts to establish presence. About writing, maybe. But whatever. Establish a presence, then at some point, you can send her a Message (FB PM) to suggest something social outside/after the group.

The message itself should be something subtle like: "Hey, Chick, I'd really like to bang you. And since I'm the 6-year alpha dog group member who has already banged at least one other chick in the room, it's really in your best interest as well. So, wanna get together and screw?"

[Sava]

Desire to bang growing (had another writing session tonight). I'm struggling with creating an opportunity to ask this chick out. When I did this the first time around (asking out my ex, who was at the time just a member of my writing group), I had her phone number because she was giving me rides to and from our writing sessions (a transparent ploy I had engineered essentially for the purpose of getting close to her, because I was perfectly content taking the bus). So when I asked her out, I just called her up on the phone.

This time around, I don't have the chick's phone number, so I have no easy way to talk to her alone. We all stagger in at different times. And then at 9, when Panera closes, we all leave at once. That would seem to be the time, but it seems really awkward to, in front of everyone else, be like, "Hey chick, can I talk to you alone in this dark alley for a minute?" /me shrugs. I'm probably making things more difficult than they have to be.

Another consideration: When I asked out my ex originally, I'd only been with my writing group for a few months. If things had gone poorly, I would have just quit the group altogether and that would have been that. But now I've been with this group for 6 years. If I ask this chick out and she says no, or if I ask her out and we go on a few dates and then decide there's nothing there, what the **** happens next? How do I stop things from being awkward after that? I don't have (or just don't want to use) the option of simply leaving the group and never coming back.

I know, I'm thinking about this all too much. Blah.

Additional note: I have her email address and we are friends on Facebook. Does that change things?

Seems like you are in a good position to make a move.

If and when you take the next step, maybe acknowledge the possible awkwardness. Try to keep it as casual as possible.

It does seem like you are over-thinking just a tad. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Just try to relax. You're doing fine, it sounds.

Contact info and FB friendship is a good thing.

[Sava]

Use Facebook, not email. It's social media, so by definition, interaction is OK there. Just don't be stalker-y. Is she active? Just respond to one of her posts to establish presence. About writing, maybe. But whatever. Establish a presence, then at some point, you can send her a Message (FB PM) to suggest something social outside/after the group.

The message itself should be something subtle like: "Hey, Chick, I'd really like to bang you. And since I'm the 6-year alpha dog group member who has already banged at least one other chick in the room, it's really in your best interest as well. So, wanna get together and screw?"

[Sava]

I am Poasting in this thrade so I cKan seem like I fit in and am one of the "cKool Kids" and to also make myself seem moar intelligent and imPortant.

AAHZ

[Lorizael]

Use Facebook, not email. It's social media, so by definition, interaction is OK there. Just don't be stalker-y. Is she active? Just respond to one of her posts to establish presence. About writing, maybe. But whatever. Establish a presence, then at some point, you can send her a Message (FB PM) to suggest something social outside/after the group.

So I guess I've already established a presence. We both comment on each other's posts.

The message itself should be something subtle like: "Hey, Chick, I'd really like to bang you. And since I'm the 6-year alpha dog group member who has already banged at least one other chick in the room, it's really in your best interest as well. So, wanna get together and screw?"

[Thoth]

Berz
AH
Self
and there are a few other die hards.

I still play Civ. But I do my Civving from Realms Beyond nowadays.

[Colonâ„¢]

I also still play civ4.

[ricketyclik]

Civ IV

[Sava]

My new friend turned out to be a flake.

She mentioned multiple times how she's gone out with guys, had great dates, even slept with someone a little too early... only to have them disappear and go silent.

So what does she do? Disappear and go silent.

Fucking people man. I swear to God.

Oh well. Good riddens.

[-Jrabbit]

Bummer. You gotta kiss a lot of frogs...

[Sava]

Yup. I guess what bugs me is the dishonesty. At no time did she voice any displeasure or disapproval. After the last time we hung out, she even liked a comment of mine on Facebook. She even replied to a few text messages.

I was getting excited about the possibility of fun times. We briefly fooled around. But then, silence.

More than anything, it's rude and inconsiderate. What's so horrible about saying, "Hey, I had a great time, but I'd rather not see you again"?

It's these damn 20 somethings. Some of them need to grow up.

[Lorizael]

I agree that it's inconsiderate, but I also totally get the no response thing. Rejecting people is hard, in part because you're directly hurting someone (and are there to witness that hurt), in part because you have to be honest with someone you don't know very well, and in part because (in these sorts of cases) women are sometimes afraid that rejecting a person could cause said person to get clingy, unreasonable, or even violent. Better to not be around if that kind of thing is going to happen.

[Sava]

Next to an extraordinarily mean rejection, silence is the worst possible course of action. It's immature. Aside from breaking off contact with an abusive person, there's no scenario (or very few scenarios) where I would consider it justifiable.

[Sava]

Anyways. Butthurt is over.

I've renewed my effort and have been getting good responses in the last day or so.

Most recent reply is from a woman who is taller than me. I've never dated anyone like that before. Height isn't an issue for me. I love women of mostly all shapes and sizes.

I'm a little curious to experience the logistics of sex with a taller woman.