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1. Sava. Nothing personal here, but I imagine all the THC in his brain would help me stave off awareness of my horrifying situation for at least a good couple of hours. And it would make me more affable, which helps in a crowded, tense situation. The same could be said of Felch, but I assume Felch would be armed, so Sava it is.
2. MrFun. A man can only take so many observations of how we'd be able to catch more fish if Republicans hadn't polluted the sea. I assume his academic lifestyle would make his flesh pleasantly tender.
3. Oncle Boris. See "academic lifestyle"--basically, everything but his tongue is filet mignon. Also, likely to be even more infuriating than MrFun with his talk about ancient Egyptians and unsustainable lifeboat construction. Probably should have been #2.
4. Molly Bloom. Don't get me wrong, I love ya, man, but you wouldn't be able to help yourself. Somewhere around day three, you'd just burst out quoting Rime of the Ancient Mariner, "Water, water everywhere," and we'd just have to kill you to remain sane. And once you're dead, hey, it's a shame to waste it.
5. Regexcellent. It feels less like murder and cannibalism if you only eat one twin--the same genetic material is still out there, after all--and I've met HC so he wins.
6. Ming, for much the same reason, but he's old and therefore probably tough. If, implausibly, a stewing-pot is available, he moves up to number five.
From there on out it's mostly a tie, assuming nobody else eats me first. Less likely to be eaten:
1. Lorizael. Very quiet in person, we'd forget he's there. Might get so bummed he eats himself; if not, the rest of us will slowly disappear overnight and we'll have no clue who's doing it.
2. Al. Very big and muscly, probably inconveniently difficult to kill even when weakened by honorable refusal to eat other human beings. Tough, too. On the other hand, he consumes a lot of calories, and we know he can't swim, so you do the math.
3/4. Guy and Strangelove. Doctors, unlike the rest of us, could conceivably be useful in this situation, at least until Guy snaps.
5. BK. If we're on a lifeboat together, it means we were on a boat together beforehand. He wouldn't have made it this long.
2. MrFun. A man can only take so many observations of how we'd be able to catch more fish if Republicans hadn't polluted the sea. I assume his academic lifestyle would make his flesh pleasantly tender.
3. Oncle Boris. See "academic lifestyle"--basically, everything but his tongue is filet mignon. Also, likely to be even more infuriating than MrFun with his talk about ancient Egyptians and unsustainable lifeboat construction. Probably should have been #2.
4. Molly Bloom. Don't get me wrong, I love ya, man, but you wouldn't be able to help yourself. Somewhere around day three, you'd just burst out quoting Rime of the Ancient Mariner, "Water, water everywhere," and we'd just have to kill you to remain sane. And once you're dead, hey, it's a shame to waste it.
5. Regexcellent. It feels less like murder and cannibalism if you only eat one twin--the same genetic material is still out there, after all--and I've met HC so he wins.
6. Ming, for much the same reason, but he's old and therefore probably tough. If, implausibly, a stewing-pot is available, he moves up to number five.
From there on out it's mostly a tie, assuming nobody else eats me first. Less likely to be eaten:
1. Lorizael. Very quiet in person, we'd forget he's there. Might get so bummed he eats himself; if not, the rest of us will slowly disappear overnight and we'll have no clue who's doing it.
2. Al. Very big and muscly, probably inconveniently difficult to kill even when weakened by honorable refusal to eat other human beings. Tough, too. On the other hand, he consumes a lot of calories, and we know he can't swim, so you do the math.
3/4. Guy and Strangelove. Doctors, unlike the rest of us, could conceivably be useful in this situation, at least until Guy snaps.
5. BK. If we're on a lifeboat together, it means we were on a boat together beforehand. He wouldn't have made it this long.
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