Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

At least you have a job. I'm one of those types that just hit thirty and still don't know what to do with their life. :/

I only have a job because the giant bureaucracy that is the federal government has yet to realize that my job is meaningless.

Happy Birthday, btw.

[N35t0r]

My job isn't done by computers because people still trust humans more than they do an automated script. Which is also why little effort is done to automate anything but the more easily automated tasks. And also because the company doesn't really know what they are really selling.

[N35t0r]

But hey, getting money off the oil companies is always a good thing

[Lorizael]

Dwelling in the past clearly isn't helping. Deleting anything and everything to do with Evil Best Friend might be a cathartic experience.

Without becoming a forest-dwelling hermit (an option I've strongly considered in the past), it would be impossible for me to remove any temptation to ruminate. Gmail has hundreds of emails back and forth between me and my ex from the time when I was courting her. Apolyton has a good many threads I can stalk to take me back into the past. There are chat logs stored on my laptop, on an external harddrive, in Google Docs, on flash drives, on other computers... And then there's the box. I've got a box of physical memories from all three girlfriends plus the evil bestfriend. I take it with me whenever I move.

I'm pretty much a drug addict, except my drug of choice is memory. I'm not sure how to live a life without memories.

[N35t0r]

I'm not sure how to live a life without memories.

What? Who are you? What is this? Who am I?

[The Mad Monk]

Um, forest-dwelling hermits are all about rumination. Scratch that one off your list.

[Lorizael]

Yes, but as a hermit, I wouldn't have access to my copious records. I'd have to rely on my memory, which, after years and years of depression, is pretty ****ty.

[ColdWizard]

I thought forest-dwelling hermits were all about finding enough food and clothing to avoid scurvy/starvation/hypothermia.

[Lorizael]

Earlier this year I went through a pretty bad bout of reminiscing about my second girlfriend. It consumed me for a week or two, and I did talk to the therapist about it. Her opinion was that (kind of like my obsessive behaviors) it represents a safe, easy way for me to address my feelings of loneliness. The act isn't bad in and of itself, and there's nothing wrong with me for still having feelings for past women. The problem is that it's not a long term solution to what I'm feeling. I'm going to keep being lonely if I don't actually do something in the real world about being lonely. And the other problem is how I react to my rumination. That behavior always strikes me as giant neon sign that I'm depressed, and that leads to other depressive behaviors, and so on. So I need to listen to what my feelings are telling me, but then I need to not let myself be overwhelmed by those feelings.

[Bereta_Eder]

I don't know if this will be helpful, but I accidentally some weeks ago stambled on a letter I've written but never sent to an old girlfriend.
It was one "bazzillion" words which simply described "we don't fit" (we're not good for eachother).

[Lorizael]

Why'd you write the letter?

[Bereta_Eder]

I was in big pain.

Writing it was my way to "freeze" this pain in time, I guess, if that makes sense.
Not have it follow me, getting it out of my system.

(generally writing is a strange case with me. if I can't sleep but I sit and write something, if I get it right, I can sleep like a baby afterwards. Generally not writing is a way of punishing myself. I don't care though if I throw the paper in the trash the other day or delete the file).

[pchang]

I'm pretty much a drug addict, except my drug of choice is memory. I'm not sure how to live a life without memories.

Do you think it is a good idea for alcoholics to keep vodka in the house?

[Sava]

I think you mean Full Metal Jacket.

*was part of the bit

[Lorizael]

Do you think it is a good idea for alcoholics to keep vodka in the house?

No, but alcoholics eventually learn how to be around alcohol and not drink. It's hard to live a life completely isolated from alcohol, and it's impossible (barring TBIs) to live a life completely isolated from memory.