Please don't take this too seriously.

[Sava]

Not being able to be in the moment is a big issue for me.

this can be difficult

years ago, i had the same problem

for me, yoga helped
also, massages can help too (legit ones)

here's what you do... go take a yoga class... maybe with a partner if you know someone who'd go with you

the big thing is focusing on your breathing
actively control it
you will have to focus on it and pay attention
with each inhale and exhale you are lowering your heart rate and blood pressure
it's a game
see how long you can relax
be mindful of all your muscles
let them be dead weight


for me, being touched by other humans was/is a big deal
so i used to go weekly and get massages
using the relaxation techniques, i was able to handle the massage without issue


so whatever the equivalent would be, do that

but start with the yoga
at the very least, focusing on the breathing


treat your brain like an obnoxious child... give it chores to do

you probably don t need to go get a massage
but even if it's not completely helpful for that purpose, it's still awesome

[Lorizael]

The only people who would do yoga with me are (a) my ex and (b) people who do yoga with my ex. Also, doing yoga in public means revealing weaknesses to strangers.

[Sava]

The only people who would do yoga with me are (a) my ex and (b) people who do yoga with my ex. Also, doing yoga in public means revealing weaknesses to strangers.

at some point, you might have to start looking for reasons why a particular course of action could work

versus trying hard to find a reason why it won't

[Lorizael]

I was wondering if that would be your response.

[Lorizael]

Except I don't have to look hard for reasons why something won't work. My brain is so primed for that that they just pop up immediately.

[Sava]

I was wondering if that would be your response.

why's that?

i have struggled/do struggle with the same thing

I can find a thousand reasons to not go work out in the mornings
the one reason to go to workout is the one that gets me going

[Sava]

first off: I don't know what's going on in your brain biologically

but having said that... a lot of the things you say make it seem like this is a behavioral issue

the whole "wah i'm a failure thing" may just be a bad habit

bad habits can be broken

[Lorizael]

I'm ****ed in the head. I'm not really concerned (except on an intellectual level) with whether my ****edupedness is genetic, or behavioral, or chemical, or what have you. Ultimately, the mind is what the brain does. I do have a significant family history of depression, substance abuse, and psychiatric illness, though.

[Sava]

I still love you

[Lorizael]

I love pie.

[Sava]

I like the shirt you wore today

[Lorizael]

Wait a week and I'll be wearing it again.

[Sava]

do you have a schedule for what clothes you wear on a certain day?

[Lorizael]

No, I just have a very limited wardrobe.

[Sava]

even with distance, the only thing separating you from "me" right now is a pair of boxers