Dating a Friend's ex

[self biased]

True, your feelings may be hurt, but that really doesn't matter a bit. You still can't have a say on other peoples life.

you're not incorrect. I also don't have to be their friend either.

[Snotty]

I probably wouldnt feel comfortable hanging round with an ex who was dating a friend, say at a party

But If youve been banging this chick on the rebound, if youve kept your head together and ****ed her and chucked her when she got difficult, then how can you resent someone else having a run at her? You already decided you had had your fun with this one.

Also

I really don't care to hash out all the particulars here on 'poly

This really made my day, considering you posted it in a thread you started specifically about this subject. Not hating, just stating

[Koyaanisqatsi]

Yeah, I understand where you're coming from as far as hurt feelings, but this falls under the category of "get over it". Sorry.

[BlackCat]

you're not incorrect. I also don't have to be their friend either.

I won't say that you should drop the friendship, just put it on hold until you have got your feelings figured out.

[self biased]

I probably wouldnt feel comfortable hanging round with an ex who was dating a friend, say at a party

But If youve been banging this chick on the rebound, if youve kept your head together and ****ed her and chucked her when she got difficult, then how can you resent someone else having a run at her? You already decided you had had your fun with this one.

she dumped me. via facebook message. she and i were also in the process of building a future together.

also, while my current lady might technically be a rebound, our affection for each other grew rather delightfully in an organic manner. more to the point, my current ladyfriend seems to understand how i think.

[-Jrabbit]

Your friend is in definite violation of the Bro Code, especially in light of the fact that you let your displeasure known in advance. While it's been longer since your breakup than your time together, the question was asked and answered. He has made his choice.

Wish them all the best, and let them know you'll be keeping your distance. But you'll have to deal with it socially, as presumably you'll still be invited to events by mutual friends. At some point, you'll have to man up.

Since you're smitten with another woman yourself, presumably it won't be much of a problem.

[Snotty]

My reading of this is that the 5 month girl was the rebound after the wife. That would explain how she pushed you away, presumably because you got too hot and heavy, too clingy, too fast. As is only natural after a big break up. It can take a while after a big break up to become aloof and mysterious to women again.

It sounds like this post rebound girl relationship is progressing in a far more healthy trajectory

If your good friend is really a good friend, then this is bad form. However if your good friend is merely a good acquaintance, then you dont really have a leg to stand on here.

[Dinner]

I'd say be the big boy and suck it up. If it bothers you then don't hang around them when you can avoid it. That doesn't mean you make a scene and become a drama queen; just have other stuff to do until it stops bothering you or they break up.

[Wiglaf]

He's already a big boy. A very big boy.

[Wiglaf]

Hes fat

[Tuberski]

it really isn't any of my business, so we agree on that. I really don't care to hash out all the particulars here on 'poly. i did make it clear to them that my feelings would be tremendously hurt by them getting together. whether i am right or wrong in this is irrelevant. were it not for me, they would both be ignorant of each other's existence. it hurts that the coin which they purchased their relationship was quite possibly my friendship.

it's really no secret that dating a friend's ex is usually a poor idea to begin with, especially a few weeks after the breakup. if it were a few years down the line, it would be different; if it were a few weeks but someone who wasn't my friend, it would be different; i could pretty easily rationalize that.

but why would i want to put myself in a position where i have to relive painful memories for the sake of someone else's happiness?

Your feelings don't matter. If either of them had said to stop seeing your current girl because they don't like it, it would be the same thing.

However, point is void if she went to the friend right after you.

ACK!

[Snotty]

Timing comic delivery through a forum is quite the talent

I thought being fat and being a goth went together like wink and a smile. If you were skinny then you would be emo, which is a far worse animal

[SlowwHand]

A good friend of mine is dating a woman whom i was previously involved with. i told them that i wasn't really cool with that, despite getting involved with someone else (whom i'm completely smitten with). It not only has opened some rather well salted wounds and memories relating to my ex wife, but also makes me feel like they don't value my friendship. they knew without a doubt that i would have a problem with them dating, whether valid or not, yet they've gone through with it. they are also of the opinion that i should not only be okay with their union but happy for them; sometimes belligerently so. I mean, I don't wish them ill or anything, and i recognize that a) love is a good thing, and b) that they're probably a better match than she and I ever were. meanwhile, i'm feeling rather betrayed in all of this. I'm contemplating if there's really any merit in maintaining these friendships when i have such a difficult time coping with my hurt feelings with regard to the subject.

I guess this is one of those shining examples that people's hopes for happiness don't rise and set on your feelings. You've moved on. Why are you being so obnoxious?

[Felch]

You should listen to Jim Croce's Operator on repeat until you realize how dumb it is to let other people control your feelings. That's what I'd do anyways.

[SlowwHand]

HELL of a song.