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[serious] I don't know what to do.

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  • #31
    Really sorry HC.
    Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
    Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
    We've got both kinds

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    • #32
      A good cry is healthy. The first time someone close to you dies, it assaults your entire view of reality. The sense of loss is palpable, especially when it's out of the blue like this. But you will get through it and eventually, the world will start to make sense again.

      I'm very sorry for your loss, HC. Hang in there, man.
      Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
      RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

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      • #33
        My high school friends (all of whom are mutual friends of Zach, and most of whom are in the picture) are all meeting home in Fairfax this weekend. I can't go, unfortunately. Most are just driving north from colleges in Virginia, but one is flying all the way from Tucson. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who can't go ( ), but they're gonna see if they can Skype me in somehow with a webcam. Not the same, but it's the best I can do. At this point I've heard from everyone but Zach's girlfriend at Virginia Tech, but she is with her mother so I know she will be OK.

        I feel better now. Still hurts whenever I am reminded of him. Turns out, under very unique circumstances, Arrested Development can be un-funny.
        If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
        ){ :|:& };:

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        • #34
          Condolences , glad to see you're working your way through.
          No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Hauldren Collider View Post

            I feel better now. Still hurts whenever I am reminded of him. Turns out, under very unique circumstances, Arrested Development can be un-funny.
            I know you're grieving now, but don't say things you'll regret later.
            “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
            "Capitalism ho!"

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            • #36
              Sorry this happened. Is it possible he was having trouble with the relationship with his girlfriend?

              Regarding what to do, the best thing to do is to go on with your life. Recent studies of grieving show that the three stages of grieving are pretty much fictional. Most people don't go through the 3 stages, people who do, especially those who get angry, do worse in the long run than people who keep going with their lives.
              "I say shoot'em all and let God sort it out in the end!

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              • #37
                Given the time of year, I'm sure the stresses of a tough school away from home took their toll.
                "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                • #38
                  The funeral is set for this Sunday. Fortunately I'm pretty sure I can go. I could tell my friend Elizabeth was back to her normal chipper self (at least mostly) when she started sending me puppy pictures again (). We're all doing a lot better. Still rattled, but we're coming back together over this and the silver lining seems to be that our friendships have all been strengthened by going through this together. If that makes any sense. I'm just glad that this event pulled all of us together instead of pushing us apart.

                  We'll still be sad whenever we think of Zach, and I shudder to think what his family is going through. But I'm confident that given enough time we'll all be okay. Which is good.
                  If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
                  ){ :|:& };:

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                  • #39
                    Good to hear that HC. Like I said, feel free to write me whenever.
                    Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                    "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                    2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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                    • #40
                      Get the **** out of my thread, Ben. The only thing worse than having a close friend commit suicide is wanting to the do same thing after reading your ****ing posts.
                      If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
                      ){ :|:& };:

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                      • #41
                        Get the **** out of my thread, Ben.
                        Peace and blessings, HC. Like I said I've been through the wringer myself. Take care!
                        Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                        "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                        2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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                        • #42
                          Sorry to read about it HC. I'd advise you to talk about this with your close family and friends if you haven't already; and do so again if you want to. No man is an island and the people who understand you best will likely help you understand how to deal with it move on. I try to remember the good, kind and funny things the people I know who have passed away have done and I think it is the best thing to do.
                          "You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."--General Sir Charles James Napier

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                          • #43
                            Can't believe it's already been a year. It's stupid that such an arbitrary amount of time passing should make me feel down, but it does. RIP, friend
                            If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
                            ){ :|:& };:

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                            • #44
                              So sorry, man. Weirdly, I attended and spoke at a memorial service for an old friend today. Brilliant guy, a self-taught HTML programmer who brought my old company onto the Web in the mid-90s. When "that Web thing" was determined to be my department, Dick O'Brien reported to me for about 10 years. He was a curmudgeon with no family, but we managed to hit it off, forging a bond over mutual interests in music and science fiction and love of technology. He was a total free spirit, a political activist in the 60s, part of Abbie Hoffman's original Chicago 7 gang (Youth International Party, the "yippies") who came to the city to make trouble during the 1968 Democratic national convention. Before that, he served in the army - stationed in Germany (not Vietnam). He was fighting for life for a year after a 'cardiac event' last April. Even though I separated from my old corporate ties 8 years ago, his death over the weekend hit me hard.

                              My point is this: You have experienced a major loss, and the memories remain. After a year, there is still pain. It happened to me with a high school friend who died my senior year -- so hard to make sense of it. But you're actually at the point in life where relationship events will, for the next decade or two, be predominantly about marriages, births, and career/academic progress. Embrace it all.

                              Because when you get to my end of the spectrum (I'm 59), it's difficult to get through so much as a month without dealing with loss -- of friends, of family, of personal icons. Yes, I'm jaded to the point where I'm hardened to a lot of the pain, but it never really stops. And that's probably good, although it didn't feel good, speaking at the memorial today. Still, it was cathartic, and I reconnected with old friends I seldom see. My point, such as it is, is that you should embrace it all -- the joy and the pain.

                              We are all stuck in this damned human condition. Just remember this: the more you put into it, the more you get out of it -- again, both the joy and the pain.

                              I'm sorry for your loss.
                              Last edited by -Jrabbit; April 18, 2013, 01:07.
                              Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
                              RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

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                              • #45
                                Thanks JRabbit. Your words mean a lot.

                                I am not feeling good right now. All of the sudden I feel like I have a lot going on. Some of the friends in that picture--we don't talk anymore. Even though we told each other we'd stick together after what happened, some just haven't. I guess they moved on. Makes me sad, but I don't think there is anything I can do about it. Maybe that makes it worse. I've been in college two years now and I can't say I have any friendships that are as good as the friendships I made in high school, I feel a little alone here at CMU. This is a bit of a painful reminder of that. Maybe I don't get out enough. Who knows.

                                God, I must be the only person who thought high school was easier than college, socially.
                                If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
                                ){ :|:& };:

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