Dogs should be exterminated

[Al B. Sure!]

It's a good thing Muslims hate dogs and the Taliban probably doesn't own any pit bulls. Otherwise I would have serious doubts about Al joining the marines.

Thankfully, a round from an M4 will put a dog down.

[Sir Og]

You should either run a lot faster or just walk.
Dogs seem to chase objects that move at a certain speed only (30-50km/h)

[Felch]

I read that dogs are actually pretty popular in Afghanistan. While Islam discourages toy dogs, it makes an exception for working dogs. So there are a good number of working dogs, helping with shepherds and the like.

But that's not the point. The point is that Alby should turn, stand his ground, and destroy anything that displeases him. Visualize yourself ripping out the dog's throat, and devouring his still beating heart. Fill your heart with courage and hate, and no dog will be match for you.

EDIT: Who the hell runs 50 km/h?

[Barnabas]

This is for emergency cases only

If you have a Jacket, put your jacket around the lower half of one of your arms (the one of your non dominant hand), and let the dog bite you there(he will try to hold you), with your other hand, press over his nose blocking the entry of air and you will be able to asphixiate him very quickly, his bite will be much less strong and he will be looking at you as if he sees he will be death soon within 3 minutes.

[loinburger]

Get a treadmill, you can probably get a barely-used one cheap

[Al B. Sure!]

This is for emergency cases only

If you have a Jacket, put your jacket around the lower half of one of your arms (the one of your non dominant hand), and let the dog bite you there(he will try to hold you), with your other hand, press over his nose blocking the entry of air and you will be able to asphixiate him very quickly, his bite will be much less strong and he will be looking at you as if he sees he will be death soon within 3 minutes.

So I need to not only wear a jacket while running but somehow take it off and wrap it around my arm while getting mauled, presumably?

Get a treadmill, you can probably get a barely-used one cheap

Not acceptable and I don't want to get into a treadmill vs. actual running debate.

[loinburger]

Welp, enjoy being eaten

[Thoth]

When you go running, always carry a bottle of Windex and a bottle of Javex with you.

That way when dogs/women attack you, you have the ingredients for mustard gas at your disposal.

[Uncle Sparky]

Welp, enjoy being eaten

Exactly. Not the top of the food chain anymore, eh Albie?

[Thoth]

Albie's always been a bottom.

[SlowwHand]

Don't worry. If he takes a hunk out of you, he'll spit it out quickly enough. Maybe they can graft you back together.

[KrazyHorse]

Albie doesn't get beaten up enough by coworkers; now even the dogs have decided to pick on him...

[SlowwHand]

Birds are next.

[The Mad Monk]

I've changed my mind. Yes. Yes you should.

Soooo tempting, but no.

Al, that's when you round on them and charge. Arms flailing, yelling at the top of your lungs. If the stops in confusion (pretty good chance), punt him.

[Hauldren Collider]

Mace

QFT

Just pepper spray it.