So a girl asked for my number

[MRT144]

you had sexual contact with a MAN!

There's no taking the high ground on this. You're bisexual. Deal with it. Accept who you are.

Jealous that I can have my cake and eat it too?

[Al B. Sure!]

If you have sexual relations with a man, you're at least bisexual, if not homosexual. Flat out. By who's definition can you **** a man and still be heterosexual?

[Asher]

If you have sexual relations with a man, you're at least bisexual, if not homosexual. Flat out. By who's definition can you **** a man and still be heterosexual?

Statistically, most men who have had sex with men in their life do not self-describe as homosexual or bisexual.

[MRT144]

Statistically, most men who have had sex with men in their life do not self-describe as homosexual or bisexual.

Don't expect Al to understand the nuances of sexuality.

[Pax]

Not really. But this one, he's saying I should accept playing second fiddle to the ex and be a pushover. I would've expected a "you can't change her mind so leave her alone and let her change her mind on her own; plus, she'll probably appreciate you more if you disappear". Something like that. I'm very surprised.

It probably seems off because I'm going through my own relationship crisis right now and I'm hardly in a position to give advice but I was essentially saying as Tupac clarified don't cut her off and don't even let her know that you don't want to be an also ran. Just play it cool. There is a reason that the guy is an EX. She may have forgotten but if she broke up with him she will remember soon enough. Al, feelings for another person can grow and feelings can also fade. I am saying that as long as you don't fall into the just a friend trap the feelings this girl has for you can grow. Also she seems like the best prospect for you at present time.

[Pax]

Pax's advice always seems pretty awful.

HC, that stings what advice have I given that seems so awful too you. The only advice I've really given is on how to pick up women. Utilizing my methods, A guy should be able to pick up a pretty decent girl. So what's your gripe?

[onodera]

She started pining for her ex-boyfriend on facebook (I love ****, blah blah blah), unfriended me, but she still texts me, asking me what I'm doing, etc. Looks like she wants me as a hanger on or something.

Press the case. Tell her you're not content to be #2 and ask to choose between her ex and you, right now. Do this in person. If she's reluctant to meet you, tell her it's important. If she refuses, stop answering her texts.

[onodera]

Pax, HC has never had a girlfriend, ignore him.

[Hauldren Collider]

I was talking about his encouragement for Alby, not his ability to pick up chicks. Pax encourages alby to keep trying for the marines, now he's encouraging Alby to chat up this plaintiff in a case where he's one of the jurors--it all strikes me as something you shouldn't be cheerleading.

[Jon Miller]

This girl I knew who came back to Philly for grad school asked me a few weeks ago if, hypothetically as women do, she were to ask me if I would have casual sex with her, would I be interested? Before getting your blood boiling, she was not asking me if I wanted to, but asking me if she were to ask me, would I do it, as some sort of meta-question. Of course, I said no.

Stand with your principles.

But you should look at what sort of person you are/want.

Girls who appreciate that might be very turned off by other behavior of yours.

JM

[Jon Miller]

Press the case. Tell her you're not content to be #2 and ask to choose between her ex and you, right now. Do this in person. If she's reluctant to meet you, tell her it's important. If she refuses, stop answering her texts.

I don't really agree with Pax's position, I do agree with this position (if you really want her).

If you don't, just stop answering her texts.

JM

[Jon Miller]

Nope. Sexuality is a spectrum. I'm 100% sure of it. My experience with men who've said the exact same thing as you at some point tells me this as well.

It's not gay or homophobic. People who have really strong reactions to the thought of gay sex (like committing suicide as an alternative... ) are obviously trying to convince themselves more than others. It's not homophobia so much as self-denial.

I disagree.

I think people are gay or straight.

But then there is another parameter which is flexibility.

This flexibility could be seen in 'off-preference' behavior, whether it is related to the sex of your partner, having multiple partners, or other activities. This is probably related to 'risk genes' which I have seen (in a talk by a geneticist) heavily correlated with an increase in number of both sexes of partners for both straight and homosexual people. In the figures I saw, it actually had a very strong effect (on the order of a factor of 10).

JM

[MikeH]

But some people are definitely bisexual too and comfortable in relationships with men and women. How would that fit in?

I think it's a spectrum.

Not really into men, but the idea doesn't repulse me, not sure why it would.

[Jon Miller]

But some people are definitely bisexual too and comfortable in relationships with men and women. How would that fit in?

Obviously there are non-genetic aspects, but I would expect them to have 'risk genes'.

If you look at history, obviously 'everyone' could be straight or bisexual depending on the society. There are definite large non-genetic contributions.

JM
(And it is arguable, but in a few cultures, 'everyone' is homosexual with heterosexual activity reserved for producing progeny.)

[MikeH]

I think the evidence tends to point to societal norms masking genetic pre-dispositions.

I don't see why you are so keen that there shouldn't be a genetic spectrum component and a societal spectrum component. I'm not sure it's proved either way at the moment. Other than that both things have some effect.