Meet Your Next. U.S. President

[SlowwHand]

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
--Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like
Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's'
new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like
and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama
call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between
Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with
tax evaders, blackmailers,
and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
--David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat
in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink,
who would be saved?
A: America !
--Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between
Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of
the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the
Obama bumper stickers off the road.
--David Letterman

[Al B. Sure!]

Where do you even get those, Sloww? I'm 99.9% sure those are all fake. They don't even sound like any of them. Leno, Conan, et al don't even sound like that. Their types of humor are different and the wording is off.

[Ben Kenobi]

Why's that, Albert? Cause it's racist to make Obama jokes?

[Al B. Sure!]

Why's that, Albert? Cause it's racist to make Obama jokes?

It doesn't sound like them. And go google it. It's a BS mailing. None of these comics made those jokes.

[Ben Kenobi]

None of these comics made those jokes.

Cause it's racist to make Obama jokes?

Apparently so.

[Al B. Sure!]

Apparently so.

What is wrong with your brain?

[Guynemer]

That's a long, long list, Al.



And that list is completely obvious bull****, Sloww.

[-Jrabbit]

Speaking of long lists...

Texas standings against all 50 states on a variety of issues (1st means highest ranking, 50th means lowest ranking).

• State Aid Per Pupil in Average Daily Attendance – 47th

• Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) Scores – 45th

• % of Population 25 and Older with High School Diploma – 50th

• High School Graduation Rate – 43rd

• Per Capita State Spending on State Arts Agencies – 43rd

• Birth Rate – 2nd

• Percent of Uninsured Children – 1st

• Percent of Children Living in Poverty – 4th

• Percent of Population Uninsured – 1st

• Percent of Non-Elderly Uninsured – 1st

• Percent of Low Income Population Covered by Medicaid – 49th

• Percent of Population with Employer-Based Health Insurance – 48th

• Total Health Expenditures as % of the Gross State Product – 43rd

• Per Capita State Spending on Mental Health – 50th

• Per Capita State Spending on Medicaid – 49th

• Health Care Expenditures per Capita – 44th

• Physicians per Capita – 42nd

• Registered Nurses per Capita – 44th

• Average Monthly Women, Infant, and Children (WIC) Benefits per Person – 47th

• Percent of Population Who Visit the Dentist – 46th

• Overall Birth Rate – 2nd

• Teenage Birth Rate – 7th

• Births to Unmarried Mothers – 17th

• Percent of Women with Pre-Term Birth – 9th

• Percent of Non-Elderly Women with Health Insurance – 50th

• Rate of Women Aged 40+ Who Receive Mammograms – 40th

• Cervical Cancer Rate – 11th

• Percent of Women with High Blood Pressure – 16th

• Percent of Pregnant Women Receiving Prenatal Care in First Trimester – 50th

• Women’s Voter Registration – 45th

• Women’s Voter Turnout – 49th

• Percent of Women Living in Poverty – 6th

• Mortgage Debt as Percent of Home Value – 47th

• Foreclosure Rates – 10th

• Median Net Worth of Households – 47th

• Average Credit Score – 49th

• Retirement Plan Participation – 47th

• Amount of Carbon Dioxide Emissions – 1st

• Amount of Volatile Organic Compounds Released into Air – 1st

• Amount of Toxic Chemicals Released into Water – 1st

• Amount of Recognized Cancer-Causing Carcinogens Released into Air – 1st

• Amount of Hazardous Waste Generated – 1st

• Amount of Toxic Chemicals Released into Air – 5th

• Amount of Recognized Cancer-Causing Carcinogens Released into Water – 7th

• Number of Hazardous Waste Sites on National Priority List – 7th

• Consumption of Energy per Capita – 5th

• Workers’ Compensation Coverage – 50th

• Income Inequality Between the Rich and the Poor – 9th

• Income Inequality Between the Rich and the Middle Class – 5th

• Homeowner’s Insurance Affordability – 46th

• Number of Executions – 1st

[Al B. Sure!]

That was posted already, Jrabbit.

[dannubis]

Still, it deserves to be posted again. Currently, Texas sucks when you don't have money.

[Dinner]

Reagan fan boy. So what?

Admitably it is the Huffington Post, which is left wing, but Perry almost never got any grade higher then a C in school, often got D grades, and a few F grades. The only two A grades he got were for world military systems and “Improv. of Learning” which both sound like easy classes. It was mostly Cs and Ds for him and one of his fellow students at the time described him by saying "He wasn't the brightest guy around. We always kind of laughed. He was always kind of a joke."

http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/rick-perrys-grades/

[Ben Kenobi]

Admitably it is the Huffington Post, which is left wing, but Perry almost never got any grade higher then a C in school, often got D grades, and a few F grades. The only two A grades he got were for world military systems and “Improv. of Learning” which both sound like easy classes. It was mostly Cs and Ds for him and one of his fellow students at the time described him by saying "He wasn't the brightest guy around. We always kind of laughed. He was always kind of a joke."

Hey, where's Obama's grades?

[Dinner]

Go read about the onion market, you economic illiterate.

I'm well aware of the argument that allowing such speculation increases market liquidity and makes it more likely willing sellers will find willing buyers. That's fine and dandy for onions because if onion prices go up 400% over night then the entire economy doesn't crash and millions of people don't see their incomes go down or even get fired from their jobs. That does happen if oil prices shoot up due to speculative activity and that's why such damaging behavior was illegal in the 70's, 80's, and part of the 90's. We need to make it illegal again.

[Dinner]

Hey, where's Obama's grades?

Since he graduated near the top of his class and became the head of the Harvard Law Review it's safe to say he had excellent grades.

[Dinner]

And that list is completely obvious bull****, Sloww.

Wait... Are you claiming the list I posted about Texas is bull****? It was posted in the Washington Times.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/politics-raising-children/2011/aug/16/rick-perry-america-nightmare-families-and-educatio/

Actually it seems it was partially posted in the Washington Times with the full list credited to a blogger cited in the article.

Not surprisingly Daily Kos picked it up as they love anything which makes Republicans look bad but the list does seem to be legit.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/08/13/1006527/-LADIES-AND-GENTS-THE-REAL-RICK-PERRY