To be or not to be... an *******.

[-Jrabbit]

OK, all the cards are on the table. Now play the hand.

[Tupac Shakur]

I think you have better taste than to lust after a girl that dumb. But just to get things in the open, tell her what you really do with them. Tell her how you sit alone in a darkened room with your computer set to a slideshow view. Tell her about the soft music in the background. Tell her about being able to almost smell her while you flit back and forth between the real photos and imagined scenes where her ankles are somehow locked behind her ears as she screams your name and her eyes roll around unfocussed, unthinking, uncaring, lost in a sea of sensation. Tell her about finding that one perfect photo you pause on and crest to, and then tell her about being left alone at the end of it with a hand full of goo and a head full of shame and sadness.

Ugh. I'm glad KH has grown up and stopped posting fan fiction...

Anyway, you should almost certainly stay far away from this crazy girl. I would need to see the nude pics to be absolutely certain, however, as there's a slight chance she's sexually attractive enough to make it worth enduring the crazy.

[DaShi]

Clearly he needs to apply the Hot/Crazy Scale:

[Lorizael]

She used to be way hotter. Now, not so much.

[Tupac Shakur]

Then run for the hills, my good man.

[Guynemer]

run.

This. A thousand times this.

[Dinner]

It sounds like you were pathetic and put up with this not putting out ****. You should have told her you wanted her as your woman and told her to get lost if she didn't agree. That puts a total stop to the fiddling with your emotions thing and it makes women rethink the situation if a man rejects her and tells her to take a hike; it puts you in the power position plus women rethink their position once a man tells them to take a hike as they're not used to being rejected. That's classic dating psychology which either gets you what you want or blows up the whole relationship but either way you have your resolution.

[Egbert]

It sounds like you were pathetic and put up with this not putting out ****. You should have told her you wanted her as your woman and told her to get lost if she didn't agree. That puts a total stop to the fiddling with your emotions thing and it makes women rethink the situation if a man rejects her and tells her to take a hike; it puts you in the power position plus women rethink their position once a man tells them to take a hike as they're not used to being rejected. That's classic dating psychology which either gets you what you want or blows up the whole relationship but either way you have your resolution.

Refusing to take ****

[Lorizael]

My first ex-girlfriend, whom I will refer to by the moniker Rutherford, just called me on the phone to talk about how worried she is that the evil best friend (who will henceforth be known as Millard) is going to kill herself. She doesn't know what to do and she wants my help in figuring out how to help out Millard.

Rutherford is thinking about coming down to visit Millard, but she's hundreds of miles away and it would be quite a hike. She thinks I should go see Millard myself in the meantime. Under other circumstances I might, but this weekend I'm going out of town with my girlfriend (aka James) to visit her family.

What I want to know is... what should I call my second ex-girlfriend? She can't follow the same naming convention. I guess I'll just refer to her by her favorite founding father's nickname - Lexi.

[rah]

Call their bluff.

[ColdWizard]

Direct Rutherford to this website.

[MikeH]

I can't follow this story if you are renaming characters.

[Lorizael]

Call their bluff.

...whose bluff?

[Lorizael]

I can't follow this story if you are renaming characters.

Well, it was easy when it was just the evil bestfriend and my current girlfriend. But when I add my first ex-girlfriend to the mix it gets difficult to construct straightforward sentences.

[MikeH]

So we have EBFWRML, Girlfriend, Ex-Girlfriend.

Simple