To be or not to be... an *******.

[Kitschum]

@Lorizael

I wouldn't go that far. The blame is shared.

[Lorizael]

Of course the blame can be shared, but I have my own self-destructive tendencies.

[Kitschum]

Clearly. Anyway, the point is you've learned... right?

[DaShi]

If only you were in Australia. You could just lock her in your basement and problem solved.

[Perfection]

What the hell can you do for EBFWRML anyways?

[Docfeelgood]

Or: The Return of the Evil Best Friend Who Ruined My Life

So, as some of you may or may not remember, I used to make threads from time to time about a certain FEmale in my life, whom I referred to as the Evil Best Friend Who Ruined My Life (EBFWRML). I was madly in love with her, and she was "in love" with me, too, but in a "platonic" sense, which mostly meant she told me all the time how great and awesome I was and how she was never going to have sex with me. The EBFWRML's presence ruined my first two romantic relationships, and you all thought I was pretty dumb for not demanding that she either **** me or **** off.

Anywho, for various reasons, she and I stopped being friends about three years ago.

Then, just before Christmas last year, her 50ish mother had a massive, sudden heart attack and died. I went to the funeral, because I'm not a total bastard, and after that we started talking a bit.

Recently, however, her perennial depression has reared its ugly head again. Our ability to support each other during our various depressive episodes was one of the really big parts of our friendship back in the day, and because of that she's reaching out to me now.

But she's more depressed than she's ever been before. She has no money, no mother, no friends, no job, no where to live except her father's house, no way to get out of her massive college loans, and no prospects for her life. Her mental state has gotten so bad, in fact, that she's trying to convince her family to let her kill herself, and she voluntarily committed herself for a few days, where she was (finally) diagnosed bipolar type II and prescribed lithium.

So the question is, should I be there for her? I'm living happily with my girlfriend and I'm in no desperate need of friends, but I can't deny that I still care a great deal for the EBFWRML. Although she has told me not to repeatedly, I will feel a great deal of guilt if she does in fact kill herself. And yet if I do let her back into my life (which, obviously, is no guarantee that she won't end it all anyway), history shows that I will seriously mother****ing **** things up.

Yes, you have to be a man no matter what happens.

[self biased]

run.

[David Floyd]

Uh, I have no desire to have any kind of romantic relationship with the EBFWRML. I just want to know if I should still bother caring about her.

Umm, really? You refer to her as the evil ***** who ruined your life. Why would you care if she died in a fire, slit her wrists, or caught AIDS from a casual sex partner? I mean seriously, by your own admission she ruined your life. **** her, right?

Trust me, stop giving **** about people who either you don't like or who you know screw you over, and you will be a happier person for it. If I was in your situation, I would probably tell her "I don't give a **** what you do. Now **** off and never call me again." Then I'd go take a double shot of Crown, **** my girlfriend, and forget about it.

[MikeH]

Of course the blame can be shared, but I have my own self-destructive tendencies.

So be aware of them and don't indulge in self destructive behaviour this time.

Good luck whatever you decide, I'm sure it won't be easy either way.

[Zoetstofzoetje]

Ok, so you have three pages full of people telling you to RUN and don't look back to this girl.

What I see you doing three pages long is saying, 'yes but'. In other words, what you want to hear is, yes, you should help her.

I sense that despite our three pages of rational commentary, you will do the irrational thing, and six months from now there will be a thread here called "Ok, so I messed it all up again"

[Lorizael]

Umm, really? You refer to her as the evil ***** who ruined your life. Why would you care if she died in a fire, slit her wrists, or caught AIDS from a casual sex partner? I mean seriously, by your own admission she ruined your life. **** her, right?

Trust me, stop giving **** about people who either you don't like or who you know screw you over, and you will be a happier person for it. If I was in your situation, I would probably tell her "I don't give a **** what you do. Now **** off and never call me again." Then I'd go take a double shot of Crown, **** my girlfriend, and forget about it.

The whole evil friend who ruined my life thing is a bit of sarcasm on my part. Whenever I discussed her on Apolyton in the past, you all told me she was a horrible person that I should get away from. Now, I don't think she's a horrible person, and neither do her friends or family, unsurprisingly. I'm just amused by the reactions to her on here, so I use that acronym to describe her.

[Lorizael]

Ok, so you have three pages full of people telling you to RUN and don't look back to this girl.

What I see you doing three pages long is saying, 'yes but'. In other words, what you want to hear is, yes, you should help her.

I sense that despite our three pages of rational commentary, you will do the irrational thing, and six months from now there will be a thread here called "Ok, so I messed it all up again"

I say yes but because I don't like agreeing with people. If everyone agrees that I should do one thing, I'm pretty much always going to play devil's advocate and present the other side. What I do in real life has almost no relation to what I say on here.

[dannubis]

Dude, you yourself said she has no friends left. Whether or not this is directly her fault doesn't matter. You OTOH should read the writing on the wall: if you can't get involved without falling in love with her (and I suspect you already have), get the **** out of the way... Train wrecks are much more spectacular when observed from a distance.

[Lorizael]

...if you can't get involved without falling in love with her (and I suspect you already have)...

Nah. I can remember the way I used to feel, but I don't feel that way now. Mostly I just feel sorry for her.

[DanS]

I'm having trouble finding reasons why you would get involved in her life again, even if you are receiving nude pictures of her on your cell phone. She needs help that you are incapable of providing.