Had my first experience with Brasilian police last night

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

JM
(Not an abstainer for almost 8 years now, but rarely drink and recommend no, low, or moderate use in others).

I miss Jno Mihkljhkl;

[Aeson]

Even though heavy drinking is associated with higher risk for cirrhosis and several types of cancer (particularly cancers in the mouth and esophagus), heavy drinkers are [b]less likely to die[b] than people who have never drunk

Drinking can make you... IMMORTAL!

[Cort Haus]

I've never done any (non-prescribed) drugs and my life has still been far more interesting than I'd have wished. Silly people... Less demand = lower prices for the hookers and blow for the rest of you.

Fair points. You though, are a legendary Civver whose work has brought enjoyment (and a fair amount of awe) to thousands of people, whereas HC, at this point in his career, is an annoying little teenage twerp.

[Al B. Sure!]

HC doesn't need to do drugs and ****... he just needs to stop being a pretentious snob.

[Cort Haus]

HC ... just needs to stop being a pretentious snob.

It would be a good start.

[Aeson]

Pretentious snob is a necessary role to be filled for any forum to be complete.

BTW I have 6 restrooms at my house too... but 5 of them are standing only and could be mistaken for "bushes" or "trees"... that's not dew!

[self biased]

HC doesn't need to do drugs and ****... he just needs to stop being a pretentious snob.

Dear Pot,

I've noticed a distressing tendency regarding your hue lately.

Sincerely,
The Kettle.

[Dinner]

SB is the Civ5 news editor? Since when?

[Al B. Sure!]

SB is the Civ5 news editor? Since when?

Yeah but Plomp always beats him to the news because of his schedule.

[self biased]

SB is the Civ5 news editor? Since when?

since the last time you asked me, old man.

[Al B. Sure!]

since the last time you asked me, old man.

It was in March.

[C0ckney]

I dont know about you but I want more cockney stories from Brazil please!

happy to oblige with one more for now (i have to save something for my memoires!).

there is a census going on at the moment, with the slogan 'your answers are very important to the future of brasil) and someone came round to my house to ask some questions a few weeks ago. i couldn't pass up the opportunity to do two of my favourite things, that is, of course, practising my portguese and lying like **** to officials

so i claimed to be a belgian, with the unlikely name of geert knobb, which after saying it repeatedly, trying not to laugh (my name is geert knobb, get knobby, no geert knobb, geert knobby, geert knobb, you are geert knobb, that's it geert knobb...) i had to spell for her. she asked if i spoke english at this point and i did my best galic shrugg and said non and that anyway, i preferred to speak in portuguese. she asked me what i did for a living and i said i was in the import/export business while making some sniffing noises, she said then asked how much i earned and i said it varied depending on many things. she asked me how many bathrooms i had, and i was very tempted to give a kuciwalker-esque figure but decided that it might stretch my credibility somewhat. i think in fact that this was the only honest answer i gave. she then asked if i lived alone and i said that it was just me and my brasilian houseboy, she asked what he did for a living, i said a bit of dusting, a bit of polishing, he loves a bit of polishing (while doing a very gay hand movement)... if you've ever listened to mark and lard doing their 'i'm not gay or owt' sketch, then you'll have some idea... she didn't really understand the last bit though i think, mostly due to my bad portguese. she then thanked me and walked away, shaking her head.

[ColdWizard]

Now all the brazilian police are going to grab your testicles.

[Provost Harrison]

God you Brits are so dumb not knowing 10 year old hip hop slang that has seeped into White America through the media... stank as in a stank hoe... a whore... or alternatively, the female sexual organ... hang low as in what hangs low? your dick. It means having sexual intercourse with a morally loose woman.

Sorry mate, but I'm from White (although still remarkably well tanned thanks to Italy) Britain...not my culture

[Provost Harrison]

Well due to my ability to get along with every population on the planet except the English, I may well be coming to Brazil too. Watch this space. Or another space. Or whatever.