advice

[Drake Tungsten]

I totally see your point. But it should be noted that the Chinese themselves (including their gov't up to and including their president) describe their country in such ways -- perhaps in part to avoid the wrath of the public when they do something unpopular.

It's different when a white person tells you you're poor and undeveloped than it is when you're Chinese leader says it. The latter is straight talk, the former insulting.

[DaShi]

Actually, the Chinese government will say China is either poor or rich depending on the message it wants to get across at the time.

[DaShi]

Kuci, you should ask your friend why everyone needs walk on eggshells around the Chinese, while they literally spit on our country.

[Kuciwalker]

No, I'm pretty sure that's not what I need to say. This isn't about winning the argument, it's about getting along with her without being dishonest.

[Kuciwalker]

If all I cared about were winning the argument I wouldn't have bothered to ask y'all, I'm quite capable of figuring that one out myself

[DaShi]

Oh, then just apologize, even if you don't mean it.

[BlackCat]

Have read a bit more and sincerely hope that this girl talk with others - Kuci isn't exactly a good dialogue partner.

[Drake Tungsten]

This isn't about winning the argument, it's about getting along with her without being dishonest.

That's a pipe dream. You're going to have to be dishonest.

[Ben Kenobi]

Hmm,

I take it Kuci wants to get in her pants?

[Kuciwalker]

Been there done that.

edit: for the confused this wasn't an xpost

[Dauphin]

See, you can lie.

[Kuciwalker]

[Ben Kenobi]

Sigh,

"are you insinuating that this is a defect of poorer, undeveloped countries?"

This is the key question here. Remember, she's going to take this personally, even if you regard her as American. The question she is asking you, which is not what she's saying is, "how do you feel about my culture"?

Your answer was:

"I believe there in fact _is_ a strong correlation"

Which she reads and hears as, yes, I regard you as uncultured and worthless.

If you want to try to salvage this, I'd recommend writing her a letter explaining that you consider her to be, as American as I am, and that your commentaries on Chinese culture have nothing to do with her. You think it's a good thing that she's American and that she's come from abroad to stay and live here, which is the only culture she's known and grown up under. The least of which she can look back on Chinese culture and not be lead around the nose, and that she's capable of standing under her own feet and capable of thinking and making decisions for herself.

Something to that effect. You'll have to double down so to speak.

I doubt she'll talk to you again.

Chalk it up to experience.

I'm surprised she didn't just drop you after you said *exactly* what you thought of Chinese culture.

My advice, don't date people from cultures you regard as poor and undeveloped.

[BlackCat]

Ben, no wonder she get pissed when Kuci claims something about American culture - everyone knows that such doesn't exist - what do exist is "the american way", but that isn't culture. Unfortunatedy, you canucks have it the same way

[Dauphin]

Ben given people advise on how not to piss people off. Words of an expert.