So, I have a tumor

[Pekka]

*scary music* I'm now going to the consultation with the oncologist. Scared. I almost puked a few times just because of the anxiety, which is at all time high now. Should it go well, as in no more bad news that I haven't already gotten, it's time to party

Should I go against all odds and statistics and get doom news, then, oh well. Let's just say that no more. Let it be. I'll let you guys know what happened. I'm just posting here to calm my nerves. I'd rather have sex than go to this oncologist. My first visit in the cancer ward. I guess I've been to them all now; I've been to neurology ward, I've been to the ICU, I've been to the emergency whatever head injuries and seizures... Now it's the cancer ward. What am I missing? I hate hospitals by now. They suck. Why can't I just get my medicine via snail mail, why do I have to go there? I hope the doctor won't be an ******* as in "YOU NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH AND IT LOOKS BAD! LISTEN TO ME! LOOK AT THIS PICTURE! YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME LEFT!" but more like "there's always hope even though there are no guarantees".

[Pekka]

BACK!

Good news and bad news. Bad news are that it was not non-cancerous. It was in fact brain cancer. Then the good news, it's type is one of the most mild and "easy". My oncologist said that there's no need for medication as of now, because it was successfully removed, secondly, it does NOT spread like cancer spreads in a body, it is a local one, meaning that should it come back, it comes back to the same spot. Thirdly, it is very passive, it grows super slow for me. Meaning that should it come back, it comes back slowly, at which point we will begin medication, and if all else fails, I go back under knife just like I did a month ago. And that's it. I was like wtf, is that it? So yeah. I didn't know I could get so happy about hearing I have brain cancer. But I'm happy. It's not as dangerous (the type I have) as it could have been. In fact, she said she would not consider it even lethal at the moment, because it is local and can be operated again should worst come to worst, and it is so passive and slow that... oh well, continue your life.

I have brain cancer

[MikeH]

Great news!

[Nikolai]

That's great news Pekka!

[Harry Tuttle]

Awesome!

[notyoueither]

Good to hear!

[OzzyKP]

Supercitizen is victorious again!

[Arrian]

Good news, Pekka, glad to hear it.

-Arrian

[Pekka]

Good news, Pekka, glad to hear it.

-Arrian

Yes. It's amazing to go from 100% to 0% to 100% again. The darkest thoughts I had this last week waiting this consultation... like do I get to see my child grow past 1 years old? Maybe I don't even survive to see my baby at all. In that case it's time to start taking pictures of me, maybe I should do a video JUST in case so my baby can see his daddy, who he is and what do I say in it? That I love him/her, and that the pregnancy made me the happiest man alive, and in case I died, I died happy. That's just morbid thoughts, let me tell you that much. Morbid. And extremely stressful. You have to think about things like OK, so I should do a will(?) now so my SO gets everything. Who will attend my funeral? Who will show up? How will my parents get over this? How can I say to my SO that I love her so that I hope she will be happy, so if she finds a new man, it's all good as long as they are happy. Just tell the baby who the real father was.

To say it quite directly, last week, inside my head, was ****ed up.

Now it's all good

[Arrian]

Of course it was stressful and you spent a bunch of mental energy thinking about worst-case scenarios. That's what people do when they sit in a hospital waiting for the test results or the doctor's opinion or whatever. So, in this one area at least, you're normal.

Now you can worry less

-Arrian

[Krill]

Congrats on the cancer Pekka

[Theben]

Excellent news

[DaShi]

Best cancer ever!

[VetLegion]

Wow, Pekka. This thread is quite a roller-coaster. I've been avoiding reading it since your operation because I didn't want to read any bad news. I thought "if he survived, he'll pop up somewhere eventually, and if he did not, why should I know that right now". Today I noticed your nickname at the bottom of the forum and a + next to it. Thought to myself, ****, is this like a cross or something? Is he dead?
Decided to read the thread.
I'm glad that you survived the operation. I'm also glad to hear that you've recovered well.

Also, congrats for the baby!

[rah]

Every parent should do a video around the child's birth to express any anxieties and expectations. It could be a treasure to your child later in life.