How do I explain "country music sucks" to a Peruvian?

[DinoDoc]

He's more of an American than you are, Lefty.

[Drake Tungsten]

Gotcha; real Americans don't acknowledge the ludicrous claims that Canada is a separate country.

[Ben Kenobi]

Peruvian fellow is a nice guy who insists that country is Good American Music. How do I get through to him?

So let's get this straight, this Peruvian loves America more than you do?

Country is despised by the beltway folks, and for good reason, because it's decent music.

[Drake Tungsten]

Contemporary country music sucks balls. Then again, so does contemporary rock and hip-hop.

[Lefty Scaevola]

I tried drinking from a hose once, and only once. The taste was horrid. All metallic and gross. Take the extra time to go inside and get it from the faucet, where it tastes better. Otherwise you might as well be lapping it up from puddles like a bloody dog.

I have drunk enough from springs, brooks, and outdoor hoses.

[SlowwHand]

You're talking to candy asses, Lefty.

[Drake Tungsten]

Says the fake Texan.

[Ben Kenobi]

Who's talking contemporary? I like Cash too. I'm one of those inbred cretins who's drunk from hoses in the summer, and yeah, it usually tends to taste better then. I've gone camping and drank from streams after I boiled the water.

I spent most of yesterday gutting and cleaning geese...

[SlowwHand]

Says the fake Texan.

If this is your latest best effort,

[DanS]

I like country music every now and then.

[Lefty Scaevola]

You're talking to candy asses, Lefty.

You think Drake is a kicker or a roper?

[Elok]

Who's talking contemporary? I like Cash too. I'm one of those inbred cretins who's drunk from hoses in the summer, and yeah, it usually tends to taste better then. I've gone camping and drank from streams after I boiled the water.

I spent most of yesterday gutting and cleaning geese...

Yeah, well, I brush my teeth with steel wool and floss with heavy twine. Ergo, my penis is enormous. Bow down before me!

Doing unsanitary low-class **** doesn't make you tough or cool. Don't drink bottled water or drink from a hose; just go to the tap. And above all, don't compose stupid nostalgic hillbilly ballads waxing about the good old days when you drank tinny warm water that had been sitting inside a rubber tube getting baked by the sun since the last time somebody watered the garden.

[Ben Kenobi]

Doing unsanitary low-class **** doesn't make you tough or cool.

Have you ever cleaned a bird? Nothing unsanitary about it if you do it right. As for low-class, I dunno. I thought the latest 'in-thing' was eating local produce. These birds were shot about several kms away. That's pretty darn close for food.

Don't drink bottled water or drink from a hose; just go to the tap. And above all, don't compose stupid nostalgic hillbilly ballads waxing about the good old days when you drank tinny warm water that had been sitting inside a rubber tube getting baked by the sun since the last time somebody watered the garden.

Man, your hose has warm, tinny water? You've never really had good, ice-cold and crisp water from a hose, from a well, with zero flourine all of your essential minerals that just make it taste right on a boiling hot day.

[Elok]

I've been drinking well-water all my life, having always lived too far from a city center to be connected to the usual sewer and water grid. The tinny warmth is a consequence of the hose, not of the source of the water. A garden hose is a long tube of rubber that lies in the dirt all day, full of water from the last time it was used, which heats up in the sun so that it takes on the flavor of old rubber and metal fittings while freely admitting any airborne microbes, pollen, specks of dirt or other gunk through its open end.

[Ben Kenobi]

I've been drinking well-water all my life, having always lived too far from a city center to be connected to the usual sewer and water grid.

So why on earth do you drink out of a hose without drinking it fresh? I mean seriously, I've never heard of anyone drinking out of a hose unless they were already using it to water something, in which case, the water is fresh and cold. That's the entire point.

As for the taste, I dunno what the water is like in Maryland, but the water out here is very good. It does take some getting used to if you are accustomed to bottled water which has no taste at all. Frankly, you are better than this Elok. No need to disparage us country hicks. I'm aware of the pathogens in water, which is why if I'm camping I put it on the fire to boil it first. I'd be an awful long ways away from the nearest hospital...

You mean to tell me you've never drank out of a hose while it was being used to water something else as a kid?