A Question for Poly's Literati (or: Getting D laid more often: A project not worth your time)

[Flubber]

I want to take issue with your base premise that I am capable of "enjoy[ing]" any type of fiction whatsoever. This is going to be a miserable gauntlet any way I slice it.

.

The fact that you don't believe yourself capable of enjoying any fiction is both baffling and somewhat sad to me.

Too much time commitment. Maybe in another life.

.

So no time to pursue any interests? You do realize that for most women (smart or dumb) they do like time with their guy. So if you want anything approaching a "relationship-thingy" it will be tough with this mindset

Dude, we're talking late-20th-century American public school here. I honestly cannot name a single fictional book that I read cover-to-cover for school. Maybe, maybe I got through over 50% of "To Kill a Mockingbird," but I didn't even pass that low hurdle for anything else. A mishmash Cliff's Notes, encyclopedias, whatever snippets of classroom discussion the subconscious picks up while sleeping through class, and movie adaptations always sufficed for a passing grade.



.

Your experience is completely foreign to me. While I also sleepwalked through a public education, my father was a public school teacher of literature (at a different school) and I had an early love of reading. I generally read everything that would be assigned for any given grade about 3-4 years ahead of time as I just plucked it off my Dad's bookshelf.




I now understand better why you want to read more. ITs to become better read etc etc but frankly given your attitude that its going to be a tedious chore, I don't know how much you will get out of the experience. Its also quite telling that you don't have time for "interests". Having them is also part of being a well rounded person-- you know . .. the type that the smart girls find intriguing for longer.

I haven't tracked/noticed your prior posts much but in this thread you are portraying yourself as a very driven individual but not very diverse or well-rounded . Perhaps that works for you and is what you want -- and it is possible to find a dream girl when operating in that fashion. I would think they are rare though.

What type of work is it that you do now anyway?

[Darius871]

Your experience is completely foreign to me. While I also sleepwalked through a public education, my father was a public school teacher of literature (at a different school) and I had an early love of reading. I generally read everything that would be assigned for any given grade about 3-4 years ahead of time as I just plucked it off my Dad's bookshelf.

I never said I didn't have a "love of reading." Hell, I started reading newspapers and history at an earlier age than my peers and siblings could even start the Hardy Boys or Goosebumps, and the total pages of text I've read through in my 24 years of life could fill a few tractor-trailers at least. I only said I can't stand the subcategory of reading known as fiction, for the simple reason that none of it is real.

The fact that you don't believe yourself capable of enjoying any fiction is both baffling and somewhat sad to me.

It's equally "baffling and somewhat sad to me" that anyone would find it worthwhile to read about figments of a stranger's imagination when there's so much written material about real people and events that reading nonstop for a hundred lifetimes wouldn't get through it all. To each his own I guess.

So no time to pursue any interests? You do realize that for most women (smart or dumb) they do like time with their guy. So if you want anything approaching a "relationship-thingy" it will be tough with this mindset

...

Its also quite telling that you don't have time for "interests". Having them is also part of being a well rounded person-- you know . .. the type that the smart girls find intriguing for longer.

What type of work is it that you do now anyway?

I should have been more clear on this point, but I didn't really consider it important; what I should have said is too much time commitment for now, because I'm a full-time law clerk by day and a full-time law student by night (and by weekend, and lunch break, and train ride, and elevator ride, and on the can, and in the shower, and when in a strictly physiological sense I should be sleeping, etc.). I'm sure eventually there will be a day where I can just punch out at 5PM and go do [whatever it is normal hu-mons do to amuse themselves] on a daily basis, and a "relationship-thingy" might be workable then, but for at least the next few years that stuff is on hold. I'm sure I wouldn't be the first person in history to go through a brief phase like this.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Yeah, that's why I came here instead of the dozens of reader's lists Google can find. Thanks for the valiant effort though Imran.

Well I could just start listing stuff on my bookshelves and Kindle, but that's quite a list of its own .

[DaShi]

I should have been more clear on this point, but I didn't really consider it important; what I should have said is too much time commitment for now, because I'm a full-time law clerk by day and a full-time law student by night (and by weekend, and lunch break, and train ride, and elevator ride, and on the can, and in the shower, and when in a strictly physiological sense I should be sleeping, etc.). I'm sure eventually there will be a day where I can just punch out at 5PM and go do [whatever it is normal hu-mons do to amuse themselves] on a daily basis, and a "relationship-thingy" might be workable then, but for at least the next few years that stuff is on hold. I'm sure I wouldn't be the first person in history to go through a brief phase like this.

Breif! Dude, you're going to be a lawyer. These are the good times now.

But in all seriousness, law students have been some of the most fun people I know, but the minute they become lawyers they dissolve into lumps of depression and self-loathing.

[-Jrabbit]

Another tack you might try is reading the novels on which popular movies are based. You'll end up reading a mix of contemporary genre fiction (Tolkein, Ludlum, Le Carre, Brit mysteries), contemp novels/memoirs (The Accidental Tourist, A Beautiful Mind, The Color Purple, Chocolat, etc) and actual literature (Jane Austen, Shakespeare, DH Lawrence, blah blah). Just start with movies you've liked that are not repulsive to women and you're good to go. Smart women tend to like mysteries and caper flicks, so you're not stuck with just chick flicks. If you can find romantic comedies you can stomach, all the better.

The differences between books and Hollywood movies makes conversation easy and ties in to potential dating activities. ("We should rent that/go to see that.")

[Flubber]

I should have been more clear on this point, but I didn't really consider it important; what I should have said is too much time commitment for now, because I'm a full-time law clerk by day and a full-time law student by night (and by weekend, and lunch break, and train ride, and elevator ride, and on the can, and in the shower, and when in a strictly physiological sense I should be sleeping, etc.). I'm sure eventually there will be a day where I can just punch out at 5PM and go [do whatever it is normal people do to amuse themselves] on a daily basis, and a "relationship-thingy" might be workable then, but for at least the next few years that stuff is on hold. I'm sure I wouldn't be the first person in history to go through a brief phase like this.

If you are clerking now while a student that clarifies a lot and as a lawyer myself of 15 years experience I can say these things

1. There are LOTS of female lawyers that would find your work fascinating-- when I dated other lawyers we could passionately debate and explore for hours. So don't give up on your dream girl idea-- Its not like you are in a male dominated field like some of the hard sciences. I dated a lot in law school

2. In almost any legal career you choose, its unlikley you are clocking out at 5-- ever-- But it does get more manageable and there are choices you can make to get to where you desire ( I left private practice to go in-house essentially to work less)

3. You probably don't have much time right now for a relationship (as you acknowledge) although other law students could be a fertile ground. They are generally on the same type of schedule and understand if you have to disappear for a few weeks except for the occasional booty call

[DarkCloud]

Infinite Jest is unreadable.

David Foster Wallace's short fiction is nice; because he had an editor to control him, but Infinite Jest was unconscionable.

I doubt anyone you know will have read these, but:

Catch-22 &
A Confederacy of Dunces

are excellent reads and are both famous-- very humorous and very literary and respected. So if you want to have fun- I recommend those.

I Am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe is also literary and a bit fun... but I think it failed at its task... still, people will be impressed if you read it and it is an easy read.

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad is also amazing (avoid his spy-stuff)

A surprising amount of women have read Vonnegut.

But do not make the same mistake as I-- apparently everyone reads Vonnegut but they only read Cat's Cradle and one other piece (Slaughterhouse Five?). Those however are two of his I have not read. I have read about 6-7 of his novels and a few of his sorts, but never the popular ones (because they are never checked in at the library)... so when someone talks about Vonnegut and I start going off- they look at me strange because they have never read anything I'm talking about and thus we cannot relate.

[Flubber]

I never said I didn't have a "love of reading." Hell, I started reading newspapers and history at an earlier age than my peers and siblings could even start the Hardy Boys or Goosebumps, and the total pages of text I've read through in my 24 years of life could fill a few tractor-trailers at least. I only said I can't stand the subcategory of reading known as fiction, for the simple reason that none of it is real.


.

hmmmm-- so you don't get any enjoyment from a well crafted story-- something creative, descriptive or unique?

Does this carry over into other things? For instance can you "not stand" movies and television shows because they are again fictional.

I guess I should not sound as critical as I do . . . tastes vary and there are many things I fail to appreciate (heavy metal music for an example) but it just seems to me to be writing off far too much to reject all fiction.

Would it help your enjoyment to know something is rooted in reality? If it does you could try the Mauritius Command by Patrcik O'Brien. While it is book four of a 20 book series and you lose some context/backstory-- it does stand alone well enough and is probably the book that purports to most closely follow real events.

[Flubber]

Breif! Dude, you're going to be a lawyer. These are the good times now.

But in all seriousness, law students have been some of the most fun people I know, but the minute they become lawyers they dissolve into lumps of depression and self-loathing.

Wow-- thats quite a statement

[DanS]

At that point they finally realize that this **** doesn't end. They are going to be overworked bundles of unhappiness their entire lives.

Which of course brings us to something that D needs to read: Bartleby the Scrivener.

[Jon Miller]

I am currently reading The Brothers Karamazov.

It is very good, I like russian authors in the 19th century (Tolstoy was also very good).

JM

[DarkCloud]

Darius- if you do not gain enjoyment from reading things that are not real then why do you read apolyton?

Nothing here is real... Just ask Wigalf?

I believe you can enjoy fiction- it is just that too much of what people are fed in lower schools is junk (ie. great gatsby, to kill a mockingbird, Frankenstein (very poorly written and realized)

Read something entertaining that is based off of real life-- Read : Catch 22, A Confederacy of Dunces, I am Charlotte Simmons, or... GORE VIDAL's CREATION (If you like comparative religion and mass-market philosophy.), read "The Malcontents" a collection of short stories by history's most acrid satirists (Voltaire "Candide", the fellow who wrote Gulliver's Travels, Moliere, Aristophanes, etc.)

Tale of Two Cities is interesting if you know the history.

I thought the Three Musketeers by Dumas was a bore... but you might enjoy it- and it has tinges of history.

Dante's Inferno is an enthralling read- even more so if you know and love history.

---
This next one is not fiction but people will probably think it is: Charlie Wilson's War. I read the book before I saw the movie. The movie actually does a really good job- but the book is even more hilarious-- and everything in it REALLY HAPPENED!

more nonfiction, but still good to impress people: Read the most recent biographies of John Parson (the rocket scientist) and Chung Ling Soo (The Marvelous Deception) These historical biographies are more entertaining than most fiction.

[Ben Kenobi]

I am currently reading The Brothers Karamazov.

Check out Crime and Punishment too. Dostoyevski is wonderful.

[Ben Kenobi]

Oh yeah, I like her too

Uhh. He's a guy, dude.

[Ben Kenobi]

Good stuff, but I wouldn't read it to impress women...except for Fallen Angels.

They are just good books. I think I have half of them floating around somewhere or another.