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A Question for Poly's Literati (or: Getting D laid more often: A project not worth your time)

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  • A Question for Poly's Literati (or: Getting D laid more often: A project not worth your time)

    Ok, so long story short I managed to waste virtually every night and weekend working throughout highschool, college, and the first two years of postgrad, and any rare snippet of spare time during that meatgrinder was fully devoted to alcohol-fueled mischief. I don't have any regrets (money don't grow on trees, after all) but lately I've realized that the only females my age smart enough to be worth knowing for more than one night apparently had too much time on their hands for the last decade and managed to read a number of these "book" thingys. Don't get me wrong, I've absorbed tens of thousands of pages of textbooks like a sponge over the years and even enjoyed some, but I'm talking about the kinds of books that ordinary hu-mons apparently choose to read voluntarily. Now I of course snag me a vapid barfly here and there, as can any guy in decent shape with a modicum of confidence, but when it comes to these bookworms I don't have much to talk about that's not overly technical, which pretty much rules out any shot at a fulfilling long-term relationship, kids, etc. for all eternity.

    So, in short, I figure I'll have to try to throw in at least a hundred pages of leisure reading a day just to get anywhere near caught up, but I don't even know where to start. As I said, I'm pretty much covered on the dry, mindnumbing, overly technical nonfiction side, but if you had to pick the top twenty-five (25) literaturey-type books that smart people are somehow supposed to be familiar with even though they're all phoneybaloney fictional crap, what would they be? I can think of maybe 2 or 3 that I've read in my life so far, so don't worry that your list might overlap with already-trodden ground. Speaking of fiction, an epilogue of the top five (5) filosofy-type books that smart people are somehow supposed to be familiar with would be helpful too.

    Thanks for your help!
    Unbelievable!

  • #2
    This is far more than 25, but it may help:



    And a British list, encompassing non-modern works:

    Take a look at a list of the top 100 books of all time, nominated by writers from around the world, from Things Fall Apart to Mrs Dalloway, and from Pride and Prejudice to Don Quixote
    Last edited by Imran Siddiqui; July 1, 2009, 23:46.
    “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
    - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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    • #3
      This is Time Magazine's Top 10 books:



      1. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
      2. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
      3. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
      4. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
      5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
      6. Hamlet by William Shakespeare
      7. The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
      8. In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust
      9. The Stories of Anton Chekhov by Anton Chekhov
      10. Middlemarch by George Eliot
      “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
      - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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      • #4
        # 9 is at least about a Star Trek guy.
        Blah

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        • #5
          Just go find those books in the corner with Errol Flynn wannabes and lusty wenches on the cover. They're all written by some guy named "Anonymous", and the babes love reading them.
          I'm consitently stupid- Japher
          I think that opinion in the United States is decidedly different from the rest of the world because we have a free press -- by free, I mean a virgorously presented right wing point of view on the air and available to all.- Ned

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          • #6
            So I've heard.
            I'm consitently stupid- Japher
            I think that opinion in the United States is decidedly different from the rest of the world because we have a free press -- by free, I mean a virgorously presented right wing point of view on the air and available to all.- Ned

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            • #7
              Fiction is gay. That being said, faggy hipsters seem to revere Infinite Jest, so maybe you should start there.
              KH FOR OWNER!
              ASHER FOR CEO!!
              GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

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              • #8
                God, the top of that reader's list from Random House is dreadful. Absolutely fvcking dreadful. I've read many of those novels and most are pure shit.
                I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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                • #9
                  It should be noted that reading classics won't get you laid by brainy chicks. You need to be up on contemporary literature.
                  KH FOR OWNER!
                  ASHER FOR CEO!!
                  GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'm reading Flaubert's Madame Bovary (in French) as we speak. Its an amazing novel, probably one of the best written novels I ever read, but I heard that the english translation is not very good.

                    I'm also reading the stories of Chekhov. They're good, but can't say I'm impressed so far. But a lot of them are really short. So you can read a 2-3 page short story when you don't have much time.

                    I always recommend Robert Musil's "The Man Without Qualities". Its an amazing, amazing book. But I don't know you, so its hard to say whether you'd like or not.

                    Anyway, you go at it all wrong. Don't let boring old university snobs tell you what you should read or not.
                    Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy – Lessing

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                    • #11
                      Like Harry Potter and the DaVinci Code.
                      “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                      "Capitalism ho!"

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                      • #12
                        Actually, your best bet, Darius, is to find moderately obscure authors that the ladies haven't read, so you can turn this situation around. They'll think you've already read the contemporary stuff and are just ahead of them. As for the contemporary stuff, cliffnotes and wikipedia are your friends. You are just doing this to get laid, right? Not for any personal growth or crap like that?
                        “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                        "Capitalism ho!"

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                        • #13
                          Like Art Vandelay?
                          Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy – Lessing

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                          • #14
                            We wouldn't want him putting in all this effort for self improvement. A 1 night stand, sure.
                            Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                            "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                            He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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                            • #15
                              From Imran's 1st list, those books I read and approve as good reading (and I'm not overly a literarybuff)


                              # BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley
                              # CATCH-22
                              # THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
                              # 1984 by George Orwell
                              # ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell

                              Esp. Orwell is rather easy and quick reading.
                              "The world is too small in Vorarlberg". Austrian ex-vice-chancellor Hubert Gorbach in a letter to Alistar [sic] Darling, looking for a job...
                              "Let me break this down for you, fresh from algebra II. A 95% chance to win 5 times means a (95*5) chance to win = 475% chance to win." Wiglaf, Court jester or hayseed, you judge.

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