Is This A Good Poem?

[SlowwHand]

Let's make this easy.Toss that in the trash where it belongs and start over.

[Ben Kenobi]

I think that I should never see
A site as lovely as Poly
A site who's loathsome lurkers prest
For greater postcounts, yet unblest.

A site that glares at God all day
And thrusts her arms as if to play
A site that in the summer wears
Naught else but pride. Her earnest airs

Upon her bosom lays astride
The fools upon the days provide
Much mirth for thine and thou
I could not do without enow.

[SlowwHand]

BRAVO, Ben!

[Unimatrix11]

WigLaf, the a-a-a-a-a-b rhyme scheme isnt that impressive, now is it? And i dont quite see, what you want to express with that one? Horniness? Devine horniness? Deep superficiality? It may be funny, tho - make it a limmerick, that might work.

[MattBowron]

Limericks? i'm ok at them, i could try one for instance

One for Ben:

There once was a Polyner called Ben
Who would pray to God now and then
But even if others didn't treat him well,
He didn't mind, they were going to hell,
The only problem is he didn't know when

One for Ash:

There once was a Polyner called Ash
Who every gay guy wanted to pash
But if they didn't conform to his wishes
He'd make them his *****es
And with his dick give them whiplash

One for Betor:

There once was some young Polyner called Betor
Though she was jailbait, every guy wanted to meet her,
But just though she might lie,
And was actually in FBI
Every attempt was soon to be a defeater

One for KrazyHorse:

There once was a Polyner called KrazyHorse
Who was doing an advanced physics course
He was trying hard to see,
How we all came to be,
And wouldn't rest until he discovered its source

One for Pekka

There once was a Polyner called Pekka
Who would run around showing his pecker
He'd run through all his thoughts in one post,
And when he'd boast all he could boast
He announced he was gonna buy an Alpaca

One for Grandpa Troll

There was a Polyner called Grandpa Troll
Who grew up in the days of rock and roll
And even though grandchildren did he
He got on well with all at Poly,
Because every post he did received a lol

And one finally for Wiglaf

There once was a young Polyner called Wiglaf
Who wanted to show his girlfriend his staff,
And even though he and Asher weren't elected,
He stood proud and erected,
And to the untailable he gave the last laugh

[Wiglaf]

I really like this line,"And with his dick give them whiplash," as well as snoopy's "The dick of the 'phant so wry?" The multiple uses of the dick are acceptable to me. So here is the poem as is:

What is bigger than the sky,
The clouds up so very high,
The tears from an African's eye,
The dick of the 'phant so wry?
My dear, I cannot, I cannot tell a lie;
With his dick I give them whiplash.

[Supr49er]

I really like this line,"And with his dick give them whiplash," as well as snoopy's "The dick of the 'phant so wry?" The multiple uses of the dick are acceptable to me. So here is the poem as is:

What is bigger than the sky,
The clouds up so very high,
The tears from an African's eye,
The rod of the 'phant so fly? <-------------------
My dear, I cannot, I cannot tell a lie;
With his dick I give them whiplash.

Gives you a fishing pun.

[Tuberski]

I really like this line,"And with his dick give them whiplash," as well as snoopy's "The dick of the 'phant so wry?" The multiple uses of the dick are acceptable to me. So here is the poem as is:

What is bigger than the sky,
The clouds up so very high,
The tears from an African's eye,
The dick of the 'phant so wry?
My dear, I cannot, I cannot tell a lie;
With his dick I give them whiplash.

So, now, "His dick" is bigger than the sky?

You may want to rephrase, "my dick" or go back to the boobs.

Or does your girlfriend have a penis?

ACK!

[Barnabas]

I think

"My dear, I can't, I just can't tell a lie" sounds better

[Asher]

Wiglaf, your poem is majestic.

Move the **** over Shell Silverstein, there's a new jewish children's poet in the hiz-ouse.

[Jon Miller]

I think you just like all of his uses of the word dick.

jm

[Heresson]

We need poems about Heresson. Or frogs.

Once there was a frog
in the mist of the fog
writing a blog
about a hog
then came a dog
(owner: Sir Og)
read the blog
about a hog
thought about ham
and ate the frog

:sad:

[Cort Haus]

What is bigger than the sky,
The clouds up so very high,
The tears from an African's eye,
The penis of the elephant so wry? (wikipedia confirms this) -->PARENTHESIS NOT IN THE POEM
My dear, I cannot, I cannot tell a lie;
It is your boobs.

Wiglaf, don't listen to these weak and desperate people sucking your penis. Your poem is utter bollocks. Really. I don't see the point in mincing around with concerns over iambic pentameters when the rhythm is like a train wreck and the words have all the symbolism and metaphor of a rusty nail driven into the rotting carcass of a dead goat.

You need something like this... :cough: ... :ahem:

Bigger than the sky
or clouds so very heavy.
Tears of bereaved eye
fill pools to break the levy.
What's greater than these things?
So simple now to choose
My heart and soul does sing
for your almighty boobs.

[Cort Haus]

We need poems about Heresson. Or frogs.

I don't think we do, tbh, but while I'm on a roll...

Heresson, with fetish for frogs
had a life that had gone to the dogs.
He vied for attention
but his posts lacked invention
and no-one could give but a sod.

[Ben Kenobi]

You want a serious suggestion?

Why not try this.

My heart leaps up
When I behold
A twinkle in your eye

So was it when My life began
So is it now I am a man
So be it when I shall grow old

Or let me die!

The child is father of the man
And I could wish my days to sit
encased within your glorious tits.