Strange behavior of new gf ;)

[Cartimandua]

She sounds like an awesome girl who perhaps was treated badly in the past. Treat her like a princess and she will make you the happiest man in the world.

Good luck!

[duke o' york]

Originally posted by DanielXY
Thx for all the replys guys

Here is the update...

Over xMas I usually visit my parents... so she asked me if she could come there too (she doesnt have any contact with her own family anymore) and explained she really would love being at a family thing and so on... I hesitated a little but well what the heck why not I thought... So I brought her with me...
As Im not sooo close to my family I expected it to be the usuall rather polite thing... but well my gf broke the ice real quick and now my parents kinda love her (nicest gf I ever brought over and so on... well I rarly ever bring gfs to my parents ).. "Call us Mum and Dad" ... whut? :O Dunno maybe that wasnt a good idea if I dont really want to spent more time with my family

So she gets on really well with other people, and makes a fantastic impression. This woman is amazing, and I'm jealous. There is no problem whatsoever here.

As DF pointed out she is indeed insecure, thinks she is fat but is not (well rather usuall in my expierience) and such. I think she is verrry pretty and everyone else I introduced her to keeps congratulating me on her (my friends are like, wtf where did you get her??)... So its a beautiful girl that has some issues... past relationships werent any good either and such..

Well, duh! You get brownie points for telling the truth - where is the problem with this? She's not fat, so it's easy to tell her that, and she'll love to hear it. You've really fallen on your feet here so don't try to read too much into it and assume something must be wrong. Just appreciate it, and enjoy it.

Sex? No problem, we got plenty.. nothing to complain there for sure... She can read me like a book (well not that hard with men I suppose) and does whatever I want when I want it...

For the part about not getting emmotionally involved... too late for that Im afraid

Ah and for the age, she is 25.

Still nothing wrong here.

Still feels a little strange... I know trouble is comming my way sooner or later... but for now Im happy

cheers guys and happy new year ^^

Why does it feel strange? I'd be walking on air if I was in your shoes right now, and you should make the most of your good fortune.

[David Floyd]

As DF pointed out she is indeed insecure, thinks she is fat but is not (well rather usuall in my expierience) and such. I think she is verrry pretty and everyone else I introduced her to keeps congratulating me on her (my friends are like, wtf where did you get her??)... So its a beautiful girl that has some issues... past relationships werent any good either and such..

Can I pick 'em or what?

Anyway, congrats man. The only important thing is that you're doing what makes you happy. Just don't listen to this advice:

"She sounds like an awesome girl who perhaps was treated badly in the past. Treat her like a princess and she will make you the happiest man in the world."

That's what women want you to think will happen. That might even be what women think that they want. What will really happen is the old dictum will be proven true - "Nice guys finish last". I'm not saying be a dick, but I am saying don't pamper her like a princess and expect to live happily ever after.

Again, just make sure that everything you do is what you truly want - do it for yourself, not because you think you are expected to act/treat people in a certain way. Self-confidence and independence is always, always, always, always much more attractive to women than the alternative of treating them like you're desperate to have them and basically being beholden to them throughout the relationship.

[Murg]

My only concern is this. She may be a nice girl, she may be a wonderful girl. But she doesn't love you, she doesn't even know you.

What it sounds like she wants is a relationship with a somewhat decent guy. And she wants it bad. You just happen to fit the bill.

Maybe you guys have the happy coincidence of having met at the right time of your life, and being very good for each other. If so things will work out well. For her it sounds like its definitely the right time of her life, but neither of you knows if you are right for each other yet.

These are the questions:

1. Are you at a point in your life when you are ready to consider a serious long term relationship?

2. Could you imagine pursuing a long term relationship with her? (you don't have to promise or garuntee it, but guys usually know early on if the girl is someone they are just hanging out with for something to do, or if there is some potential in the relationship)

3. Do you think you could be good for her?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, then you should sit down with her and set some expectations. "i like hanging out with you, but this is just casual dating, you are very nice but Im not looking for a long term relationship".

If the answer to all of those questions is yes, then its still probably worth having a talk with her about it. Tell her the relationship seems to be going really fast, and even though you are interested and excited to see where it goes you want to sure you are both on the same page.

[DanielXY]

Originally posted by duke o' york

Why does it feel strange? I'd be walking on air if I was in your shoes right now, and you should make the most of your good fortune.

Well to summarize:
- she pays for everything
- she does all the work (cooking, laundry, driving me around)
- she treats me in the nicest ways possibel
- she demands very little in return (well I treat her good ofc and such.. work? well I wash the dishes and thats about it.. I could also just leave them and she wouldnt complain... so whatever I do on my own seems to be enough... never does she ask for anything)

Dunno how it works around where you live, but my expierience somehow taught me to expect otherwise from girls...
thats why I feel strange


Its not that I complain, its just that its somehow strange

[duke o' york]

Don't know where I got this from:

If its no fun why do it?

Just enjoy it while you can. If it doesn't last, then you have had a wonderful time with this woman, but don't question the fact it's strange. Just accept it, and roll with it for as long as is good for you.

[DaShi]

Originally posted by DanielXY


Well to summarize:
- she pays for everything
- she does all the work (cooking, laundry, driving me around)
- she treats me in the nicest ways possibel
- she demands very little in return (well I treat her good ofc and such.. work? well I wash the dishes and thats about it.. I could also just leave them and she wouldnt complain... so whatever I do on my own seems to be enough... never does she ask for anything)

Dunno how it works around where you live, but my expierience somehow taught me to expect otherwise from girls...
thats why I feel strange


Its not that I complain, its just that its somehow strange

She's obviously cheating on you.

[duke o' york]

Can we all stop being so negative? He should enjoy it while he can. If it doesn't work out, or even if she is cheating on him, then he should have fun until he knows the truth, because he'll only live once and should make the most of it while he can. Go Daniel.

[Murg]

Originally posted by duke o' york
Can we all stop being so negative? He should enjoy it while he can. If it doesn't work out, or even if she is cheating on him, then he should have fun until he knows the truth, because he'll only live once and should make the most of it while he can. Go Daniel.

Because her feelings matter too.

[David Floyd]

Yes, but she's responsible for her feelings, just as he is responsible for his. If he tries to second guess every decision or act based on what he thinks she is feeling, the relationship is doomed to fail.

That doesn't mean that in a relationship you shouldn't consider the feelings of the other party. What I'm saying is that both parties need to do a good job of expressing and communicating their feelings. If they don't do that, they have no one to blame but themselves when the other party's psychic powers fail.

[Murg]

Originally posted by David Floyd
Yes, but she's responsible for her feelings, just as he is responsible for his. If he tries to second guess every decision or act based on what he thinks she is feeling, the relationship is doomed to fail.

That doesn't mean that in a relationship you shouldn't consider the feelings of the other party. What I'm saying is that both parties need to do a good job of expressing and communicating their feelings. If they don't do that, they have no one to blame but themselves when the other party's psychic powers fail.

Yes, which is why I stressed that he should talk to her to make sure she understands his feelings.

[DanielXY]

Originally posted by Murg
My only concern is this. She may be a nice girl, she may be a wonderful girl. But she doesn't love you, she doesn't even know you.

What it sounds like she wants is a relationship with a somewhat decent guy. And she wants it bad. You just happen to fit the bill.

Congrats Murg you got it right. She doesnt love me indeed... Today she told me her feelings changed etc... lets be friends... wtf? Ah well another one down the drain... next...

Happy new year hu?

I got the feeling someone is gonna get seriously drunk today....

[David Floyd]

Women

And people tell me my attitude towards women is completely ****ed up

Anyway, sorry to hear about what happened, man. I can tell you that the best solution is to probably get hammered and find a girl, with whom you have no intentions other than a one night stand.

[Krill]

Dude, congrats, you got your laundry done on the cheap

[Murg]

Originally posted by DanielXY


Congrats Murg you got it right. She doesnt love me indeed... Today she told me her feelings changed etc... lets be friends... wtf? Ah well another one down the drain... next...

Happy new year hu?

I got the feeling someone is gonna get seriously drunk today....

Sorry man. The sad fact is that 99% of our relationships are doomed to fail. But its worth it when you do find the right person (and in the meantime the sex is pretty nice).