Women - your weirdest experiences with the lovely ones

[Boris Godunov]

Originally posted by Jon Miller
Most marriages end due to lack of commitment. That is generally already present earlier, it is just that people decide to marry anyways.
JM

Yes, but without the onus of the legal burdens of divorce proceedings (as well as the social stigma of getting a divorce, which still exists, albeit less and less as time goes on), I bet more marriages would end in divorce much faster. With that in mind, non-married couples have even less reason to remain committed should things not work out, and in such cases are likely to split even earlier. So any non-married couple that has remained together 5 years has, IMO, demostrated an adequate enough level of commitment to justify their getting married.

[Boris Godunov]

Originally posted by Pekka
BG, I just don't buy that.

Ok, your post was a bunch of BLAH BLAH BLAH that had nothing whatsoever to do with the subject at hand. Typical, of course.

[Jon Miller]

I Believe that there is statistics showing that those who wait longer to be married (and live together/etc) actually have a higher divorce than those who get married earlier. I would have to check this out because I heard it second hand.

JM

[Pekka]

It was pure FACTS Boris, pure FACTS.It means that the 5 year mark doesn't mean anything. Americans getting fatter does.

[Heraclitus]

Originally posted by KrazyHorse
I don't understand how anything you just said contradicts anything I said. It is, in fact, very similar to what I said.

Yes, their attractiveness (as individuals) as judged by the general public goes down over time, and if they don't realize this then it may be a cause of their overestimating their attractiveness. But a rational female agent would look at the pool of women (as they age) and at the pool of men available to older women, and note that the expected quality of mate available to a given goes down as she ages (because the higher quality men have already been taken). She should thus adjust her strategy to get what she reasonably can in a shorter timeframe.

Rational men, on the other hand, should see the opposite occurring; they should be willing to accept more periods of solitude during their youth in order to avoid being trapped in a suboptimal relationship.

I wasn't contradicting you, I was simply pointing out that humans behave just as irationally in other fields. Humans are not rational agents in most of the activities they undertake and we should not judge people for being human.

All people should in my opinion however aspire to be rational since a life based on rational decisions will be, on average, a much better one. I can agree with your original strong lanugage however, if its purpose was pedagogical. Telling people they are f*cking retards can sometime be a wake up call. But most of the time when we say stuff like that it's because it feels good.

Originally posted by KrazyHorse

Rational men, on the other hand, should see the opposite occurring; they should be willing to accept more periods of solitude during their youth in order to avoid being trapped in a suboptimal relationship.

You need to understand something else as well, desire and berenefits from relationships change with age too.

From a "beding robot's" standpoint it is most rational to seek optimal material (and I do try to adhere to that view since I am a firm materialist and am sure that my true purpose in life, if there is any, is to pass on as much genetic & cultural inforamtion as possible) but say you are someone concerned with "happines" would not an early suboptimal relationship be more fulffiling than years of lonelines? Even in the long run, since don't forget that people have a distorted view of the past often viewing it through rose colored glasses.

[Heraclitus]

Originally posted by Blaupanzer
KH, you sound like you wish these women were more goal-oriented at an earlier age. Seems a bit judgemental. Are you angry that they did not give you a go? If the men can enjoy a lack of relationship, e.g., Heraclitus, then why can't the ladies. They don't HAVE to be married, have children, or meet any other of society's expectations, unless they want to.

He did state that this opinion did not stem from any frustration he may have had with women in his youth (in fact he specifically stated that this was not the case).


As to my position, I wish to clarify that I do want to get married and have kids, that I do enjoy the company of intelligent & interesting people and that yes I do like sex. I just said that I have high standards, and that in my opinion a woman needs to be pretty special to for the benefit to exceed the cost (I lead an interesting life and consider my time valuable, I also have pathological concern with my own mortality, I constatnly feel rushed, since the 60 or so years I have left seem far too short a time to do all that I wish I could do).

[Heraclitus]

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
I have to say I agree with KH, but I'm still at the age where the stuck up folks haven't gotten the picture yet.

As for me, I'd like to get married. I really don't like dating much, because I'm not going to ask anybody out that I haven't already considered, or that I don't know very well.

I think my only rule would be at least knowing them for a year or so before I ask them out. Then a year after getting engaged before marriage. Between the two totally depends on the circumstances.

BK you need to understand social dynamics.


Getting dates is a terrible procces with practically no objective criteria- and the chances of getting a reasonable number of dates in the circle of people you know well is very small.

Unfortunatley a brute force approach produces best results, you need to play a time consuming numbers game- I myself in many ways eco your sentiments but I have learned to overcome them- in essence I became a social robot with the cheesy voice that dis describes.

You need to demonstrate higher value to generate attraction before moving into comfort. Again I presonally prefer to feel comfortable with someone first but to ensure you aren't trapped in the friend zone or that you even get the chance of a prolonged interaction with a woman you need to make her feel attracted to you right away.


Like I said I am comfortable not being in a relationship for a prolonged period of time. But when I do feel like a relationship- I turn the social robot switch on untill I find a match.

[Heraclitus]

Originally posted by Pekka

Colon, I don't know. I guess there is none.

I dissagree isn't internet priacy also a sign of degenerating morals? I mean stealing from starving artists?!

[Pekka]

oh you mean internet piracy. I thought you meant... the YAaAArrr one

[Elok]

Are you implying that internet pirates don't say "yarrr"? Please provide evidence.

[Kuciwalker]

Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Since the average length of a marriage that ends in divorce in the U.S. is 8 years, I'd argue that is not in fact the case.

Kids make that statistic meaningless.

[TCO]

Mostly, I've been too worried about girls being devious. and really they were not, were sweet. That...and I feel like **** after they fall in love with me, and I don't reciprocate.

[Ben Kenobi]

Getting dates is a terrible procces with practically no objective criteria- and the chances of getting a reasonable number of dates in the circle of people you know well is very small.

It's not about 'getting a reasonable number of dates', or company on say saturday night, it's about finding a wife for me.

Unfortunatley a brute force approach produces best results, you need to play a time consuming numbers game- I myself in many ways eco your sentiments but I have learned to overcome them- in essence I became a social robot with the cheesy voice that dis describes.

I'm not willing to play that game. We're talking about real people here.

You need to demonstrate higher value to generate attraction before moving into comfort. Again I presonally prefer to feel comfortable with someone first but to ensure you aren't trapped in the friend zone or that you even get the chance of a prolonged interaction with a woman you need to make her feel attracted to you right away.

Disagree. If she's unwilling to take the time to get to know me, or engaged in 'prolonged interaction', then she's not worth my time.

Like I said I am comfortable not being in a relationship for a prolonged period of time. But when I do feel like a relationship- I turn the social robot switch on untill I find a match.

I'm not looking for a relationship or a date on saturday night. I'm looking for someone to get married to.

[KrazyHorse]

Originally posted by TCO
Mostly, I've been too worried about girls being devious. and really they were not, were sweet. That...and I feel like **** after they fall in love with me, and I don't reciprocate.

You should just open up to them. Trust them with your emotional **** (look, I know you're similar to me and are not all fuzzy inside, but I'm sure you have something in there). Once you force yourself to trust them and they show their loyalty to you it is easy to love them.

[DaShi]

But I am all fuzzy on the inside. The problem is finding someone as perfect as me.