Women - your weirdest experiences with the lovely ones

[Pekka]

Yes, you can't live with them or without them. It is so true Let it be known; I love my gf very much and I'm thinking of proposing her late 2009 or summer 2010. But funny things happen, some of them aren't so funny at the moment, but it's amusing later on.

Like the ones, last week I got the one where she saw a dream where I had a girl in here.... so I was cheating her in her dreams. Then she called me, she wasn't angry, she was just upset and it was a nightmare. But did she ask? Yes she did... "so... it isn't true?". I mean jeesh, it was a ****ing dream YOU had?! Correct? And then I have to defend myself and make her feel better about it, while udner fire from something I did to her in her dreams. Jeesh.

[BlackCat]

That I'll never tell here

[Elok]

Well, there was the time I was c0ck-blocked by a pretty girl's refrigerator-sized friend at a dance, who literally offered to beat me up if I didn't go away. But I've told that story on here before. Maybe it's still here somewhere, I think the thread is titled, "What the bloody freaking HELL?" or something.

EDIT: Here we are...

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=129798

Hope that works. I might add a line that I omitted from the original account: when the big girl told me to "walk away while [I] still [had my] pride," I replied with perfect frankness, "I should think it would be obvious that I don't HAVE any pride."

[Colon™]

Not the first time I hear about something like this Pekka. However, feel glad that the fact she's got worried about a dream is a sign she really loves you.

[MrFun]

You heteros sure have it rough.

[Pekka]

Colon, yeah sure. It's not like this is unheard of. This happens to most men I figure. Not a biggie at all. It never was an accusation anyway, it was more like a nightmare and that's all.

But it still puts you in a weird situation you never thought you'd be in. PMS and negative horoscope, that's also a bad combo, you want to be smiling and out of the way

[Dis]

i had sex with one once

[Seedle]

The question isn't whether we've had odd experiences with women, the question is whether anyone has ever had a normal experience with one...

[Barnabas]

I took one of my ex girlfriends to watch the english boyband "Five" like 7 years ago.

And they were "four" because one of the guys had left the band

[Patroklos]

Did you ever see that girl again Elok, or did you tal Laz's advice?

[Boris Godunov]

Originally posted by Dis
i had sex with one once

[Sprayber]

Pretty much every experience with a woman has the potential to be weird.

[Boris Godunov]

HIGGINS
Women are irrational, that's all there is to that!
Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,
vacillating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating hags!

Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?

PICKERING
Hmm?

HIGGINS
Yes...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historically fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can't a woman be like that?

Why does every one do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their fathers instead?

Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?

PICKERING
Of course not!

HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?

PICKERING
Nonsense.

HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?

PICKERING
Never!

HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like you?

One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!

Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?

PICKERING
Of course not!

HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?

PICKERING
Nonsense!

HIGGINS
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?

PICKERING
Never!

HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like us?

[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?

Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?

Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?

[Imran Siddiqui]

Re: Women - your weirdest experiences with the lovely ones

Originally posted by Pekka
Like the ones, last week I got the one where she saw a dream where I had a girl in here.... so I was cheating her in her dreams. Then she called me, she wasn't angry, she was just upset and it was a nightmare. But did she ask? Yes she did... "so... it isn't true?". I mean jeesh, it was a ****ing dream YOU had?! Correct? And then I have to defend myself and make her feel better about it, while udner fire from something I did to her in her dreams. Jeesh.

I tell you, I hate getting blamed for stuff that happens in dreams. I mean, really, WTF is that about? And then having to reassure the woman that you'd never do what she dreamed about.

[Pekka]

Imran, exactly. This relates to the fact that all women think they're fortune tellers, deep down inside they all believe this. THus, dreams represent a sort of "collection of facts from the real world", it is this skill of fortune telling that is being mediated inside their bodies.

This is, of course, utter horse ****.