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Top 10 Things A Woman Has Ever Said To Me

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  • #16
    Yeah, right.

    As if I still have most of them, anyway.

    Also, Asher:

    I will personally castrate a monk if you ever have sex. Ever.
    Best line ever.
    Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
    Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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    • #17
      I will personally castrate a monk if you ever have sex. Ever.
      Poor monk.
      Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
      "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
      2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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      • #18
        Believe me, you are a lightweight in both areas on this site. The gays on this site would win any contest. Boris even has sex with people who come to buy his mattress. You can't win here.
        You're right, butt-sex sorta disgusts me. Even with women. I once had [insert story about butt-sex here] and I'm just not into it.

        You would also clearly win a drinking contest, if said contest involved shooting Watermelon Jolly Ranchers and Upside Down Wedding Cake shots. If that's the contest, I concede. I'd rather lose than drink that ****.
        Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
        Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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        • #19
          Originally posted by David Floyd


          You're right, butt-sex sorta disgusts me. Even with women. I once had [insert story about butt-sex here] and I'm just not into it.

          You would also clearly win a drinking contest, if said contest involved shooting Watermelon Jolly Ranchers and Upside Down Wedding Cake shots. If that's the contest, I concede. I'd rather lose than drink that ****.
          How dare you say I drink girly drinks.

          It is well known and documented on this very site that you are lying again here.

          I am a man's man drinking manly drinks.

          You probably drink ***** **** like beer.
          "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
          Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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          • #20
            castrating monks is kind of pointless. no harm (supposedly) done
            killing kittens on the other hand....

            [threadjack]speaking of kittens, here's something from the past
            Co-Founder, Apolyton Civilization Site
            Co-Owner/Webmaster, Top40-Charts.com | CTO, Apogee Information Systems
            giannopoulos.info: my non-mobile non-photo news & articles blog

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            • #21
              You would also clearly win a drinking contest, if said contest involved shooting Watermelon Jolly Ranchers and Upside Down Wedding Cake shots. If that's the contest, I concede. I'd rather lose than drink that ****.
              Now that's funny!

              Tell us how you really feel Floyd.
              Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
              "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
              2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

              Comment

              • #22
                In related news, before it gets brought up, when I went to a Poly Meet in England, I was observed drinking Smirnoff Ice in public. What can I say, that was before I started drinking professionally. I was also 18.

                Also Asher, I'm glad you're a manly man. I also concede if the drinking contest includes doing beer bongs full of Coors Light.
                Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
                Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by David Floyd
                  In related news, before it gets brought up, when I went to a Poly Meet in England, I was observed drinking Smirnoff Ice in public. What can I say, that was before I started drinking professionally. I was also 18.

                  Also Asher, I'm glad you're a manly man. I also concede if the drinking contest includes doing beer bongs full of Coors Light.
                  Smirnoff Ice and Coors Light?

                  Are you serious? Even I don't do that. Ever. Wow.
                  "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                  Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                  • #24
                    Are you serious?
                    HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAH!!! Seriously, I'm in stitches. In a ****ing coffee shop. People are looking at me funny, and I may have to shown them this thread so that they, too, will understand.
                    Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
                    Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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                    • #25
                      I observed Floyd guzzling a Colada when we had our Austin meet.
                      Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                      "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                      2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

                      Comment

                      • #26
                        Yes, I also do things like order a glass of white wine so that I can shot-gun it.

                        WRT that Austin meet, as I recall I was the one who took you guys around 6th St. I also recall being the only one to make it until 2am. Didn't I have to stay out by myself after you got too drunk to continue?
                        Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
                        Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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                        • #27
                          WRT that Austin meet, as I recall I was the one who took you guys around 6th St. I also recall being the only one to make it until 2am. Didn't I have to stay out by myself after you got too drunk to continue?
                          I should hope so considering we had a 2 hour drive back to San Antonio.
                          Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                          "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                          2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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                          • #28
                            *sniff sniff* Smells like a ***** to me!
                            Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
                            Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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                            • #29
                              Hmm. Top thing a woman has ever said to me? 'I'll leave you three gentlemen alone then' is probably up there.
                              Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
                              -Richard Dawkins

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                              • #30
                                Liar. I doubt she called you a 'gentleman'
                                “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                                - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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