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Good news, Ben. Pope's exorcist squads will wage war on Satan

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  • Good news, Ben. Pope's exorcist squads will wage war on Satan

    Excellent news! Finding a decent exorcist is so hard nowadays.

    The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of Satanism.

    Vatican chiefs are concerned at what they see as an increased interest in the occult.

    They have introduced courses for priests to combat what they call the most extreme form of "Godlessness."

    Each bishop is to be told to have in his diocese a number of priests trained to fight demonic possession.

    The initiative was revealed by 82-year-old Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican "exorcistinchief," to the online Catholic news service Petrus.

    "Thanks be to God, we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on," he said.

    "Too many bishops are not taking this seriously and are not delegating their priests in the fight against the Devil. You have to hunt high and low for a properly trained exorcist.

    "Thankfully, Benedict XVI believes in the existence and danger of evil - going back to the time he was in charge of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith." The CDF is the oldest Vatican department and was headed by Benedict from 1982, when he was Cardinal Ratzinger, until he became Pope in 2005.

    Father Amorth said that during his time at the department Benedict had not lost the chance to warn humanity of the risk from the Devil.

    He said the Pope wants to restore a prayer seen as protection against evil that was traditionally recited at the end of Catholic Masses. The prayer, to St Michael the Archangel, was dropped in the 1960s by Pope John XXIII.

    "The prayer is useful not only for priests but also for lay people in helping to fight demons," he said.

    Father Paolo Scarafoni, who lectures on the Vatican's exorcism course, said interest in Satanism and the occult has grown as people lost faith with the church.

    He added: "People suffer and think that turning to the Devil can help solve their problems. We are being bombarded by requests for exorcisms."

    The Vatican is particularly concerned that young people are being exposed to the influence of Satanic sects through rock music and the Internet.

    In theory, under the Catholic Church's Canon Law 1172, all priests can perform exorcisms. But in reality only a select few are assigned the task.

    Under the law, practitioners must have "piety, knowledge, prudence, and integrity of life."

    The rite of exorcism involves a series of gestures and prayers to invoke the power of God and stop the "demon" influencing its victim.
    The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of Satanism. Vatican chiefs are concerned at what they see as an increased interest in the occult
    Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy – Lessing

  • #2

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    • #3
      Cool.

      Thanks Nostromo.
      Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
      "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
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      • #4
        Better safe than sorry.
        “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
        "Capitalism ho!"

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        • #5
          Originally posted by aneeshm
          Plus, the training could be used to help protect people from murderous hindu extremists.
          “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
          "Capitalism ho!"

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          • #6
            And I was hoping this was from The Onion
            “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
            - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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            • #7
              They should use the computer to sensibilize people about the dangers coming from SATAN and demons.

              Why not making an Egoshooter based on the Unreal engine 3.
              The player is one of the courageous exorcists who muist fioght against demons and devils, being able to destroy them by firing his mighty holy prayers or by brandishing the holy flaming sword of Gabriel. On his quest he will encounter lost of lost souls which he has to free, as well as powerups, like the holy handgrenade of Antioch.

              Another idea would be a MUD on the internet.
              The player plays a character that belongs to one of several priest classes who wanders around a 20th century style gameworld. He gains experience by killing demons, devils, vampires or rockstars, by converting heathens to the faith or by burning the witches.
              Depending on the class he is able to choose from avariety of weapons (several types of holy crosses and bibles, holy water dispensers and the like) or to use a lot of spell like prayers that use up faith (which is regained over time).


              The evangelicals AFAIK already have a game out, now the catholic church can show it can do better
              Tamsin (Lost Girl): "I am the Harbinger of Death. I arrive on winds of blessed air. Air that you no longer deserve."
              Tamsin (Lost Girl): "He has fallen in battle and I must take him to the Einherjar in Valhalla"

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              • #8
                Ah, The Bishop is going to save us all...phew!

                Speaking of Erith:

                "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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                • #9
                  The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of Satanism.


                  This would be an awesome premise for a video game.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Kuciwalker
                    The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of Satanism.


                    This would be an awesome premise for a video game.
                    QFT
                    Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
                    The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
                    The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila

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                    • #11
                      Funny, but Drudge links to the Vatican denying this report.

                      Hard to believe in this day and age, but Satanism has some (a lot of?) adherents near where I grew up. Never heard of the local bishop ordering any exorcisms or anything.
                      Last edited by DanS; December 29, 2007, 18:33.
                      I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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                      • #12
                        Nice. Now all they need to do is figure out how to exorcise the godlessness out of atheists.

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                        • #13
                          No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by DanS
                            ...
                            Never heard of the local bishop ordering any exorcisms or anything.
                            Probably because we only hear of exorcisms that were fatal.

                            One in the 80s in a small bavarian village ended with the death of the girl on wich it was practised because of malnutrition (it involved that she was forced to fast for several days).

                            And I think a few years ago there was one in an east european country, Bulgairia or Hungary where the "victim" also nearly died.

                            Who knows how many exoercisms went unnoticed because they didn´t make it into the news.
                            Tamsin (Lost Girl): "I am the Harbinger of Death. I arrive on winds of blessed air. Air that you no longer deserve."
                            Tamsin (Lost Girl): "He has fallen in battle and I must take him to the Einherjar in Valhalla"

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                            • #15
                              Good news, Ben. Pope's exorcist squads will wage war on Satan
                              Will they roll up in vehicles like this:
                              Attached Files
                              I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
                              For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

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