Is this common now or has it been going on for years?

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Ok im trying to figure this out, Its about court ordered child support. According to my ex husband he seems to think he has a right to tell me on what i can and cant spend this money on. My kids live with me and tuber, And the only thing i would spend this money on is savings for colege or clothes they would need. I would also use it for movie, theme park and entertainment tickets and stuff. Do most or all people paying child support think they can tell the person reciving it, what they can spend it on?

[SlowwHand]

Tell him to stuff it up his ass.
Yes, the money is to help the children. What he deems as proper, has no bearing whatsoever.

[Asher]

I don't understand why the guy has to pay money if you took the kids. Especially since you've since entered into another relationship with another man who can provide...

[Dis]

how could you regulate what you spend it on. Once it goes to you it goes into all your other income and it's all mixed together. There is no way to show what you spent it on.

[Pekka]

I think it's reasonable to expect it will be spent on the child, yes. What spesifics and how, that's another matter.

[chequita guevara]

Your ex has no legal say in how the money is spent, though if he can prove you aren't spending it on caring for the children, he can ask the court to reduce it. Still, my understanding is the courts take a pretty board view on what is spent to maintain the children: rent, utilities, etc.

He may, however, have a moral right, if he is part of the childrens' lives and you two discuss together decisions about the kids.

But you should consult a lawyer.

[Japher]

How would he know that you are spending child support and not something you made yourself

I don't think he has any right unless the kids are getting out right ignored...

[Mrs. Tuberski]

well here in texas they have now put it on a debit card. so he can track where the money is withdrawn and what not. i dont need his money to pay our rent or bills me and tuber do that on our own. For the most part i want to save it for all three of their college.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Oh and not to mention i need it for clothes for them cause they always need something new. and school will be starting for supplies and a new wardrobe. My ex just seems to think that he is the one to decide what his money to support his kids go to. I dont get it im not spending frivilous, and i think even if i was where does he have a right to tell me what to buy them?

[Mrs. Tuberski]

oh one other thing he cant go and have the support reduced, he is in arrears for over 12, 000 dollars. My oldest will soon be 17 and he hs no chance in hell getting his payment reduced.

[MichaeltheGreat]

Generally, the party paying court-ordered support has very few rights with regards to how the money is spent.

It's a control thing, of course, so nothing new.

There are two remedies for a support-paying parent: Seek a change in the support order, or a change in the custody orders. Court ordered support can be changed for some obvious reasons - say he gets hit by a bus and is now in a wheelchair with medical expenses and nothing but disability income.

If the issue is how the money is spent, the paying party has to show there is some significant neglect, or a violation of terms. If there's a required share of educational costs and the custodial parent claims the kids are in private schools, but they're actually in public schools, that's a no-brainer.

If it's just a question of "I want to get in your face about how you spend the money" then the payer has to show some clear failure to properly support the kids which is inconsistent with the amount of support paid.

Courts generally aren't interested, since more often than not it's a control game or resentment of having to pay, but if the payer can put together a fairly compelling case that the actual support for the kids is inconsistent with what's being paid*, then he or she may have a good chance of obtaining modification orders.

* Obviously the standards here depend on the economic status of the parties and the amount of support in question. If someone's paying three grand a month in support while the kids are in Salvation Army thrift shop goods and look like they haven't seen a doctor, dentist or bathtub in years, while the ex parades around in Prada and D&G accessories, then a case can be made. If the kids are in Salvation Army goods, but one parent is a laborer and the other works at Mickey D's and they look like crap too, then no dice.

[snoopy369]

So what they're telling you Mrs. T is to tell him to shove it up his *%@

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by Mrs. Tuberski
oh one other thing he cant go and have the support reduced, he is in arrears for over 12, 000 dollars. My oldest will soon be 17 and he hs no chance in hell getting his payment reduced.

Any chance of college. Maybe you can cut a deal where you forget about the $12,000 if he pays books & tuition.

[SlowwHand]

Originally posted by snoopy369
So what they're telling you Mrs. T is to tell him to shove it up his *%@

Yes, and I said it first, as well more concise and to the point. It's a gift.
Michael is just naturally blabby.

[Ben Kenobi]

As far as I know, the way the court works is that his involvement ends with the child support payments. He has no right to tell you how to spend the money, the money is his obligation to pay.

He shouldn't even be complaining about where the money goes, I'm surprised he would be complaining, since this is his support for his kids.