Things I've Learned From a 2 Year Old

[b etor]

also, you better have a LOT of patience.

[Pekka]

Good stuff Japher

Do you like to shake your kid after a meal a lot?

[Jon Miller]

How else are you suppose to get the crumbs off?

JonM iller

[Harovan]

Originally posted by Bkeela
Those are some excellent reasons to never, ever have children.

Smart reasoning.

Would you repeat that in the baby boomers thread?

[Caligastia]

Re: Things I've Learned From a 2 Year Old

Originally posted by Japher
Well, Josie will be 2 in August so close enough. Feel free to post anything that kids do that make you wonder, wtf?!

1. If you aren't looking, kids can bend the space time continueum. It doesn't matter that your beer is on top of the fridge, or 5 feet away, of even in your own hand. If you look away they WILL spill it, drink it, put the remote control in it.

2. If you ever get your remote control complete submerged in Kool-aid, you can take it apart and let it dry out, put it back together, and everything but the volume control will work.

3. Like a gremlin, if you feed them, get them wet, or expose them to light after a certain time they WILL turn into complete monsters.

4. If they throw up all over the place or smear poop all over the bathroom it will make you vomit... unless it's your own kid. Then it will make you laugh.

5. Cheerios are not only good, but they are good FOR you.

6. "You can never have too much Kleenex" is not just a motto for the perverted.

7. If she's sitting in the corner, grunting, and turning read, it's okay. Just let her go, she didn't swallow a penny. Wait 2-minutes then give her to her mom.

8. There is such a thing a baby language. However, only the baby's parents can understand it.

9. Don't shake them after meals, and take their diapper off as close to the tub as possible. (Also applies to the elderly).

10. When they aren't saying anything be afraid... be very, very afraid... (Also applies to Finns)

11 - The first thing a toddler will do when left to their own devices is play with something you don't want them to play with, or go somewhere you don't want them to go. It's like they can read your mind.

[Japher]

so true Cali... you can put them a totally child proof room and they will find the 1 thing that wasn't actually child proof within seconds... rather uncanny.

How else are you suppose to get the crumbs off?

Actually, the dog licks off the crumbs.

there are also good things to learn bout 2 yo's
1. Hug them, they hug back
2. kiss them, they give ya wet sloppy kisses
3. Love them, they love back unconditional
4. and when the get older they do chores

Yeah... I can't wait until she's older, I really need a slave.

[Arrian]

so true Cali... you can put them a totally child proof room and they will find the 1 thing that wasn't actually child proof within seconds... rather uncanny.

Childproofed things are boring.

-Arrian

[Ben Kenobi]

Don't shake them after meals, and take their diapper off as close to the tub as possible. (Also applies to the elderly).

I had that once with a cousin of mine.

She reached out and I picked her up and didn't realise why her parents were trying to dissaude me from doing so.

Then I realised she'd just had a nice meal already.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

Oldie but still appropriate having had two kids ages 2 and 7.

Toddler's Property Laws

TODDLER'S PROPERTY LAWS

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, Its mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, It's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I am doing or building something,all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks like mine, it is mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

[Caligastia]

Originally posted by Japher
so true Cali... you can put them a totally child proof room and they will find the 1 thing that wasn't actually child proof within seconds... rather uncanny.

Sometimes I'll put my son down even though I know the gate to the upstairs isn't closed, hoping he will give me 1 minute to take care of something, and where does he go? Yep...right for the stairs.

[Caligastia]

They also seem to know the difference between toys and "Mommy and Daddy things". My son is far more interested in our real phone, which merely beeps, than his toy phone, which beeps, talks, and will record and play back.

[Pekka]

Caligastia, hahaha, your son is a phone phreaker!!! Be afraid, be very afraid

[Caligastia]

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by Tiamat
.....never throw the baby up in the air and play airplane shortly after she's eaten ....

I learned never to throw one up into the air while standing under a low ceiling beam.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't cry."

[Japher]

Cali, your boy can call my daughter anytime... though my daughter can never call yours. I don't want the long distance bills

Good ones Ogie