Things I've Learned From a 2 Year Old

[Japher]

Well, Josie will be 2 in August so close enough. Feel free to post anything that kids do that make you wonder, wtf?!

1. If you aren't looking, kids can bend the space time continueum. It doesn't matter that your beer is on top of the fridge, or 5 feet away, of even in your own hand. If you look away they WILL spill it, drink it, put the remote control in it.

2. If you ever get your remote control complete submerged in Kool-aid, you can take it apart and let it dry out, put it back together, and everything but the volume control will work.

3. Like a gremlin, if you feed them, get them wet, or expose them to light after a certain time they WILL turn into complete monsters.

4. If they throw up all over the place or smear poop all over the bathroom it will make you vomit... unless it's your own kid. Then it will make you laugh.

5. Cheerios are not only good, but they are good FOR you.

6. "You can never have too much Kleenex" is not just a motto for the perverted.

7. If she's sitting in the corner, grunting, and turning read, it's okay. Just let her go, she didn't swallow a penny. Wait 2-minutes then give her to her mom.

8. There is such a thing a baby language. However, only the baby's parents can understand it.

9. Don't shake them after meals, and take their diapper off as close to the tub as possible. (Also applies to the elderly).

10. When they aren't saying anything be afraid... be very, very afraid... (Also applies to Finns)

[VetLegion]

Japher you should post more

[SlowwHand]

10. When they aren't saying anything be afraid... be very, very afraid...

She may be young, but she's still female.

[Japher]

true dat...

[VetLegion]

BTW., I've heard that kids are born with swimming ability, only to lose it soon after. Can someone test a newborn to verify this? In controlled enviroment of course

[Japher]

my sister is due next month... we'll take care of that

[SlowwHand]

Crawling is a natural swimming. That's why they call simple swimming the crawl. Man! I love coming here. It makes me feel so smart.

[Japher]

Are you back in Texas?

[Apocalypse]

What I learned

[b etor]

Originally posted by VetLegion
BTW., I've heard that kids are born with swimming ability, only to lose it soon after. Can someone test a newborn to verify this? In controlled enviroment of course

ME! i never lost it. we have it on video. but that would be NSFW to post, so you'll have to trust me.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

1. If they can grab it in thier hands it will go in thier mouths
2. If u think its unbreakable give it to the kid it will break
3. if they pinch or bite you and u bite or pinch back, they will cry
4. If u try to sleep late on a weekend they will be up at the crack of dawn
5. If they are sick and vomiting, guaranteed you will be thrown up on

[Tiamat]

Learned from my 8 month old grandaughter.....never throw the baby up in the air and play airplane shortly after she's eaten and especially don't leave your mouth open

[Blake]

Re: Things I've Learned From a 2 Year Old

Originally posted by Japher
9. Don't shake them after meals, and take their diapper off as close to the tub as possible. (Also applies to the elderly).

Only shake grandpa before meals?

[Bkeela]

Those are some excellent reasons to never, ever have children.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

there are also good things to learn bout 2 yo's
1. Hug them, they hug back
2. kiss them, they give ya wet sloppy kisses
3. Love them, they love back unconditional
4. and when the get older they do chores