My problem with porn (need some advice)

[Straybow]

pft, porn review writer?

Oh, you mean Ted "I'd hit it" Striker?

[Flip McWho]

Actually, in my esteemed opinion from two pages of read thread. If he's being secretive its probably cause he's into some kind of fetish which he's scared you won't accept. Or maybe not, just a guess. Shall try to read the other 5 pages now.

[Flip McWho]

Having read the whole thread now:

Yeah, hes having problems with too much porn by the sounds. The whole not masturbating yet still doing it compulsively seems kinda strange.

Dis, you're right that watching porn with other guys is crazy.

Reality and Fantasy should be kept apart, unless both come together with equal willingness.


Yin I agree with everything your've said. Arrian and Lorizael as well.

So yes, that's me caught up.

[shellym]

Please bear with me this might not make sence!

I thought you would like to know this, thought you would like to know how right you all were on several important topics.

Firstly the fact of me moaning about not enough: I havent moaned in well over 4mths, i have kind off just got used to not getting it as much as i would like, the only things i would normally say are small jokes, meant in a nice way that normally give him a clue that i really really want it (i did not leave myself open to direct rejection)

After our talk he has not been near the computer, he doesnt think he can trust himself.

We have not faught about either subject since the beginning of the week, neither have been mentioned again.

Last night i did as i was told (by some of you) i took control, the bull by the horns you could say, and OMG it worked, he didnt say a word, think he was quite suprised!

I think you were suprised or i know i was that he could refuse a physical advance, well last night he didnt, and i think that may have something to do with me not nagging him about it, but the problem had gotten worse because i had been rejected so many times i no longer wanted to get rejected so didnt try, however now i have stopped nagging, maybe i have reversed the damage i created, and now i have had an occasion of not gettting rejected that made me feel better about trying again!

Hope this makes sence. Do you think it will work? Am i on the right track? It could be true he doesnt jerk off, he does watch too much porn (both strange) and i did nagg way too much about getting enough, maybe if we work on those it might get better?

[Dis]

sounds like good news.

if all else fails, take a sledgehammer to the computer. .

And yes, perhaps less verbal communication about your desires, and more physical communication is the key.

[Straybow]

Whooda thunkit, a newbie actually got some help in the OT forum...

Of course, it was about sex...

[alva]

Need some "help" too?

[Dinner]

I can still only think of two different reasons for watching so much porn. 1) he's just not that in to you. 2) he has a compulsion he can't control. Of course he would never tell you if it was 1.

[Straybow]

Nope, don't need help being celebate, and doubt you could help finding the right chick for me.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by shellym
I know sometimes it must be over whelming for him, its (i believe) uncommon for a female to want more than the guy, but i cant even pretend like i dont want it. And i honestly thought he would like the fact i want him that bad.

You are certainly correct in assuming that your desire to have sex should have a corresponding effect on his libido. Probably half of all the screen time of porn aimed at men is trying to establish the fact that "she really wants it". As to the overwhelming aspect for your husband, again you might try to get into some therapy together. There could be something there that is too big for you guys to deal with alone. Then again there may not be, but I bet you'd both be relieved in the long run by having an honest look at things and knowing where you stand together.

[yin26]

Sounds to me like great progress, Shelly! No doubt there will be good and bad days (and relapses), but it seems like you guys are moving in the right direction. I wish you well.