Hi I am new here and happened upon your questions and answers to 'why do men look at porn' my fella and i were arguing about this last night, i have read and been told many times not to try and understand why, but i still find myself looking for the answer.
I know that me asking him to never look at it again is unreasonable, this is the only relastionship where i have had to deal with porn, my first hubby was in the army away alot and it was never something he or i did. I did know and do know that my hubby now likes it ALOT, he knows i have issues with it (insecurity, jelously etc etc) he did says he would stop looking but cant do it. I have downloaded many dvds so maybe we could share it (this has not happened yet and i copied them over 6 months ago).
When he looks at porn it is very secretive, he has lied about it and sneeks around to do it. Now im not saying if he was veru open about it and in my face that i would all of a sudden be fine with it but maybe i could get used to it!
Thoughts on this so far please
Next issue to ponder if you will.... as i am curious to know why he is sooo desperate to be able to view it, i want to know why, he tells me he is more than happy with our sex life (i am 28 he is 35 i want more than he can give) he tells me he finds me attractive and so its none of the usual.. she wont give me what i want, he looking for new move etc etc.. then why does he?????
He says its coz he like to look at women, he swears he does not get turned on and is worried about watching it with me because i would get turned on and want sex eveytime and hes not up to it?
I am seriously confused.. i dont want to try and change him, if he needs this i want to give him itm, but by the same token it IS hurting my feelings, it DOES make me doubt myself and his attraction for me.
I just dont get it !!!!!!
Please any thoughts are gratefully received.
Michelle
I know that me asking him to never look at it again is unreasonable, this is the only relastionship where i have had to deal with porn, my first hubby was in the army away alot and it was never something he or i did. I did know and do know that my hubby now likes it ALOT, he knows i have issues with it (insecurity, jelously etc etc) he did says he would stop looking but cant do it. I have downloaded many dvds so maybe we could share it (this has not happened yet and i copied them over 6 months ago).
When he looks at porn it is very secretive, he has lied about it and sneeks around to do it. Now im not saying if he was veru open about it and in my face that i would all of a sudden be fine with it but maybe i could get used to it!
Thoughts on this so far please
Next issue to ponder if you will.... as i am curious to know why he is sooo desperate to be able to view it, i want to know why, he tells me he is more than happy with our sex life (i am 28 he is 35 i want more than he can give) he tells me he finds me attractive and so its none of the usual.. she wont give me what i want, he looking for new move etc etc.. then why does he?????
He says its coz he like to look at women, he swears he does not get turned on and is worried about watching it with me because i would get turned on and want sex eveytime and hes not up to it?
I am seriously confused.. i dont want to try and change him, if he needs this i want to give him itm, but by the same token it IS hurting my feelings, it DOES make me doubt myself and his attraction for me.
I just dont get it !!!!!!
Please any thoughts are gratefully received.
Michelle
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