why

[Spec]

Originally posted by boann



esp that part...

A friend can never make you do that. Unless it's somekind of miracle. It takes a while until you make a girl flip-out in bed. Of course most people dont know this on poly cuz you're all such geeks and virgins but it's like a leather shoe, it takes time to fit right and be cumfy. Theres no better sex than the one month later sex. You know what he likes and he knows what you like.
So, imo, it takes a mate to have great sex. Otherwise there's no banchy....just the "How was it?" ackward moment. Oh and btw, for all you noobs never ask this, it makes you seem like you lack confidence. If she asks you OTOH, it means you have the upper hand.

[Spec]

Originally posted by DeathByTheSword
freaky

Freaky? How? You think girls want to hear sweet words in bed when then have their knees pined down behind their head? Dude, no. They want to hear turn on words, like, I dont know....Hammer me like chop meat! **** PIG!!

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Skywise
Of course most people dont know this on poly cuz you're all such geeks and virgins

I still don't understand where this prejudice come from. Most people here are married, or are/were in a long term relationship. We probably have more virgins among our young adults than in other circles, but virgin young adults are definitely not our main demographics.

[DeathByTheSword]

clearly you and i have a different standard of sex...but ok like i already said i am bad at it

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Skywise
You think girls want to hear sweet words in bed when then have their knees pined down behind their head?

Depends of the time and of the girl. Heck, depends of the man too

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Skywise
A friend can never make you do that.

Wrong.

[boann]

Originally posted by Jon Miller
you have to sacrifice a lot of your personal comfort or yourself

like having someone (possibly) who snores.. who gets drunk.....who leaves their dirty underwear in the bathroom.... who makes mistakes and pisses you off... who makes you do things you don't want to do... who makes you change basically.

Jon Miller

no thanks... ive spent too many years sacrificing for
something that was more important to me than it was to them. end the end losing who i am .. losing sight of
what was important to me.. just to try to make someone happy .. that wasn't happy with anything.. no matter what was given.

im not seeking perfection... i love a persons humanity..
snoring ... i miss my husbands snoring actually...
don't mind a bit of a mess as long as they don't nominate me their personal 24-7 maid...
don't mind an occational drink... but no i don't have to
live with a drunk...and i won't ever again.

------------------------------------------

how is therapy.... its been the best thing ive ever done.
if you do decide to try it... make sure you find someone who you relate to and who doesn't just sit there and listen... but has things to say ... who can show you the missing links... look around .. don't just take the first one you go to ... unless of course that one works for you.

i believe if you think you need it... then you probably do.

actually therapy has been the hardest thing ive done
it takes a lot of self honesty... and a willingness to
open up and be emotionally naked with your therapist.
so finding the right person is critical.
there is something about talking with someone who can be totally trusted to not tell your secrets and who is trained not to be judgemental but helpful instead.

[Jon Miller]

Originally posted by Spiffor

I still don't understand where this prejudice come from. Most people here are married, or are/were in a long term relationship. We probably have more virgins among our young adults than in other circles, but virgin young adults are definitely not our main demographics.

I did a poll

~35% of apolyton is a virgin

Jon Miller

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Jon Miller
~35% of apolyton is a virgin

And 65% isn't

That's why I don't understand why some people here assume that they're only speaking at virgins.

[Jon Miller]

those are all possibilities... problems people have (There are a lot more)

I don't know, if not for the really wanting someone

it is definitely easier to be alone

JOn Miller
(have been so for 24.5 years)

[Spec]

Originally posted by Spiffor

I still don't understand where this prejudice come from. Most people here are married, or are/were in a long term relationship. We probably have more virgins among our young adults than in other circles, but virgin young adults are definitely not our main demographics.

Spiff, first off I was joking. Second my joke is based on the "Are you a virgin" poll where 40% of OT Polyers were in fact virgins. As for the geek part must be atleast 75% of the people here. It's not a prejudice, everyone here says this.

[Jon Miller]

it got down below 40% before ming closed it

Jon Miller
(at it's top it was at 66% virgin)

[Spiffor]

It wasn't you in particlular, Spec. This myth is a pet gripe of mine these days.

[chequita guevara]

boann, why don't you train young men? I'm sure there are plenty of young 20 somethings who need to learn how to have sex, how to behave towards women, etc. Consider it your personal mission to educate as many of them as you can.

[boann]

A friend can never make you do that. Unless it's somekind of miracle.

lol... i see che agrees with me on this...
sex can be totally seperate from love and devotion.
even really amazing ceiling sex..

thats one of the reasons i said in the first post
to leave out the sexual reasons.

i do believe that sex is ideal in a loving relationship.
but good sex doesn't depend on length of time spent
together nor on love.

ive gone over a year now celibate.. just to see
how i feel about it ... and i think i will be continuing
that for quite some time.