I need help: lost in life......

[General Ludd]

Originally posted by Dissident


neither does the U.S.

Depends what kind of mental illness. Some are even glorified.

[Dis]

Originally posted by General Ludd


Depends what kind of mental illness. Some are even glorified.

only by hollywood celebrities.

[LDiCesare]

Go and see a psy. If this messing up, suicidal thoughts came around late teens you might be schizophrenic, which is a quite common illness, and if os a psy may help you (there are some medications that can be effective in order to avoid delusional and suicidal thoughts, which let you have a social life).

[Dinner]

Ludd, I'm glad to hear you found something you enjoy.

[Odin]

Originally posted by Dissident


neither does the U.S.

That is somewhat a result of the residual blank slatism the pervades our society from back when having a mental illness like shizophrenia, ADHD, etc. ment you had bad parents instead of bad genes like we know today.


MORON, don't waste you time with the psychologists who try to cure you with having you tell your life story relaxing on a couch (psychoanalysis), that is just Fruedian crap used to rip you off.

[sprucemoose3311]

Dont go through engineering, your job will be outsourced to india eventually.
If you want to keep working with computer technologies I suggest going back to school with a geography major. Take GIS classes (cartography on a computer basically). My college, San Jose State University, often gets asked to provide GIS interns to NASA (south of San jose). GIS is nearly garuanteed job security too. work for army, navy, nasa (even in the astrobiology section too). i think starting pay is around 45000


most importantly: GO BACK TO COLLEGE AND JOIN A COMMUNITY SERVICE FRAT
one example would be alpha phi omega

[General Ludd]

Originally posted by Odin


MORON, don't waste you time with the psychologists who try to cure you with having you tell your life story relaxing on a couch (psychoanalysis), that is just Fruedian crap used to rip you off.

Personally, I've never been one for psychologists (Haven't seen one since I was a kid ), but if they can get someone with a social anxiety to relax on a couch and open up and tell them their life story, they've already done quite alot. It can be good just to have someone to talk to and presumably a phsycologist is more likely to be able to give you meaningful feed back or encouragement. But you'd have to find one that you you comfortable with, and that can understand where you're coming from... I know that not just any phsycologist will work - perhaps some are just bad at what they do, or perhaps it's a matter of how they relate to the individual.


My only advice in this area would be to avoid medication, and don't turn to alcohol and drugs to 'loosen you up'. What good is any of it if you're not you anymore?


Oh, and have you seen this flash cartoon?

[MORON]

What are the things you would do... besides posting on the internet? Your ideals, philosphies, or concepts of happines. Find something that is comforting, or reafirming, and follow it. Don't do anything becuase you feel that you need to.

Well, there are things I'd do, but nothing really make me significantly happier (and last longer than the duration of the activity itself anyway), but it merely passes time without making life obviously painful. I realize that I really have effectively infinite number of choices avaible in life, but it doesn't really help me decide.

I take it you wish to cure your social phobia. Is it for the sake of principle (an abstract belief that curing it would improve your life, but nothing really that urgent)? Or do you really concretely strive to change things?

For the sake of principle, if we are talking about action and motivation. However it is also absolutely necessary in the long run. There were times that I can't do anything but think about killing myself all day. I guess when someone is effectively useless, even pain and misery don't mean much.

Nowadays I just can't do much more than short term pleasure seeking and distracting myself. The rest is just too miserable, sometimes merely thinking about them.

Going out into society is obviously very painful in the short term. And solutions to social phobia is also abstract and theoretical as well, so I guess my actions somewhat reflects.

I've always been largely a loner though. Spending a average of no more than 2 years for any school, sometimes disjointed by a continent didn't help. Nor is having bad experiences dealing with people since....preschool, and being completely intimidated by my dad. (including now)

Well, my social phobia had different severity in different sistuations. My biggest problems are dealing with authority (with obvious cause) and with people that knows me. I just don't care about strangers enough to be that scared of them, but when I know that people knows me, I know that they remember and things actually count.

I have no ideas on how to interact with people as the rules are ambigous if not non-existent and I don't really have much experience about the whole thing. Being too self aware most of the time means that I'm not really observent and trying to pay attention is difficult due to lack of focus. It is not that I'm overtly hostile, but merely that I distance people really quickly, since dealing with people is stressful.

I don't know what is this "relationship between people" thingy that people talk about. I have no idea what, say, "friendship" really is.

It is the unknown, and I guess it is not too strange to be scared of the unknown......
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drugs, psychologists: I don't want to take anything more mind altering the coffee. As for psychologists, that is possible but finding one would be difficult.

[Spiffor]

Well, I have never experienced such social problems as yours, so I can't give any good advice as how to overcome them.

However, I strongly suggest that once you have found a course of action (a good advice from 'Poly, or something from a councellor etc), you remain disciplined in following that course. If you don't force yourself to do the daily routine that will be needed to change things, you will slouch your opportunity away.

When you want to reach a goal, and when you can't achieve that goal because of an insufficient discipline, it further hurts your self-esteem. The feeling of uselessness is worse than before (in this area, I can speak of experience)

[Ben Kenobi]

Knowing that I'm self destructing at an alarming rate, I packed up and get back home. While this solve no problems whatsoever, at least I won't screw my physical health over completely, and I'm less likely to kill myself.

Sometimes the answer isn't to SOLVE the problem, but to make so they stop getting worse. This is what living at home will do for you, to give you time.

I spent 2 months back home for this specific reason, living down in Vancouver the summer before the last wasn't working out, and when I went home I managed to find a job and things improved enough for me to return to school in the fall.

There's nothing shameful with doing what you've done, and it takes courage to go back and recover.

[Dis]

you don't need to overcome social problems, just ignore them as I do .

there are jobs where you don't have to deal with authority. I hate supervisors and bosses. I'm a good worker, and I know I'm a good worker. But I hate bosses critiqing my work.

[Ben Kenobi]

Nowadays I just can't do much more than short term pleasure seeking and distracting myself. The rest is just too miserable, sometimes merely thinking about them.

Eventually, this won't work either. The things that are pleasureable will no longer seem so.

Going out into society is obviously very painful in the short term. And solutions to social phobia is also abstract and theoretical as well, so I guess my actions somewhat reflects.

Abstract? Just see more people every day. Force yourself to do something social. It doesn't have to be a BIG change, just a bit more every day.

I've always been largely a loner though. Spending a average of no more than 2 years for any school, sometimes disjointed by a continent didn't help. Nor is having bad experiences dealing with people since....preschool, and being completely intimidated by my dad. (including now)

And the only way this is going to get better is to stop thinking about the abstract, and to work on the concrete. What can you do today to spend more time in the company of others?

drugs, psychologists: I don't want to take anything more mind altering the coffee. As for psychologists, that is possible but finding one would be difficult.

Counsellors will work too. They give you a chance for 'safe' social interaction of a sort.

I agree with you about the drugs. They won't correct the underlying problem.

However, how are you doing physically? Are you eating properly now that you are home? How much are you sleeping each night? Do you find yourself lacking physical energy to do things?

[DaShi]

MORON, just feel better.

[Ted Striker]

Follow Ted Striker's life changing steps and you will be better in no time flat:

1) GET TO A COUNSELOR NOW

DON'T WALK, RUN

2) Sign up and do volunteer work somewhere

3) Get into the weightroom


Most important is #1. A combination of 2 and 3 will turn you into a CHAMPION.

Don't take my advice lightly. IT WORKS.

[Urban Ranger]

Do you like dogs? If so, get a dog. Dogs are great for such a situation. Play with the dog. Train the dog. Take it out for a walk everyday. Focus on the dog, so you don't have to pay attention to others around you. In due time you will feel better.