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Help Ozz get fired

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  • #1

    Help Ozz get fired

    Ok I need some creative thinkin' from you management
    types out there. I want to get fired from my job, but I
    can't think of a way of doing it without getting a smear
    on my resume.

    Why, so i can go back to college and get my networking
    /internet programming ticket without kissing off nights
    at nightschool and the government would help pay.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Is your boss male? If so, hint that you are interested in him, but don't pull that harrasment thing. You should get fired.
    In da butt.
    "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
    THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
    "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

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    • #3


      Openly disagree with your boss, making "creative", "innovative" comments and propositions.
      urgh.NSFW

      Comment

      • #4
        Azazel is correct. Be innovative
        In da butt.
        "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
        THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
        "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

        Comment

        • #5
          Why don't you quit?...
          Rethink Refuse Reduce Reuse

          Do It Ourselves

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Osweld
            Why don't you quit?...
            If I get fired i get 6 weeks pay and the door.
            If I quit just the door

            It also effects my chances of getting government
            funding. If quit i get no help from Ottawa.

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            • #7
              You don't want to get fired, because you won't get any severance package.

              What you really want is to get laid off. To do that, you can try the following:

              - Do all your assignments and have results, just not always on time and in good quality. Companys can fire you for irresponsibility, but not for incompetence.

              - Have strange work hours, like from 2PM to 1AM, just make sure you put enough hours in.

              - Spread pessimistic rumors to lower team's morale.

              - Miss a few meetings to piss your boss off.

              - Start some initiatives that will cause lot more work for your co-workers and thus piss them off.

              - You can find more ideas in "Dilbert: The Way of the Weasels".

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              • #8
                Start cursing the name of all those who are glad y'all defeated our invasion in 1812.
                Today, you are the waves of the Pacific, pushing ever eastward. You are the sequoias rising from the Sierra Nevada, defiant and enduring.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Pekka
                  Azazel is correct. Be innovative
                  I'll already a pain in the ass, I won't work overtime
                  I'm late, i take 30 minutes for tea.

                  Problem is they need what I know (and they don't)

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                  • #10
                    Openly disagree with your boss, making "creative", "innovative" comments and propositions.


                    Indeed.
                    Then you can honestly say you were let go because of a difference in opinion.
                    Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                    "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                    2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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                    • #11
                      hmm... ask for a raise, and then they will see how badly you do your job?
                      In da butt.
                      "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
                      THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
                      "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Ozz
                        If I get fired i get 6 weeks pay and the door.
                        If I quit just the door
                        Clarification please, (as alluded too earlier) If you get fired for cause do you still get the 6 weeks of pay? Or must you be layed off.

                        Before you try the real sleazy stuff, try the straightforward approach. Talk to your boss, tell him you're concerned about layoffs. (in the current economy, this is a normal question) If he mentions that they might be happening, you might want to HINT that if it happened to you, it would be sad, but it might not be that bad of a thing because maybe you could go back to school. Most bosses hate feeling guilt when they layoff people. You might help him choose you to avoid some of that guilt.

                        If you can't get fired for cause and still get the beni's, it limits your options. I would recommend that you continue to do your job in a competent manner. (just competent) and become a high maintenance employee. Always ask for clarification prior, approval during, and fish for compliments after, on any task assigned. Feel free to ask him advice on personal problems. etc. Trust me, I will only put up with high maintenance employees if they are my best. For average workers, they're first in line to be let go.

                        RAH
                        It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                        RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Ozz


                          I'll already a pain in the ass, I won't work overtime
                          I'm late, i take 30 minutes for tea.

                          Problem is they need what I know (and they don't)
                          It appears you are the creame in your company. If that's the case, blackmail your bosses.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Is 6 weeks of payed "holiday" really worth missing a good resume? Short thinking. I think you have to chose.

                            If you want the resume, resign honorably and tell them that you are going back to collage. That would be a reason they'd understand wouldn't they?

                            If you want the 6 weeks pay - just walk into your boss' office and crap on his desk.
                            So get your Naomi Klein books and move it or I'll seriously bash your faces in! - Supercitizen to stupid students
                            Be kind to the nerdiest guy in school. He will be your boss when you've grown up!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Olaf Hårfagre
                              Is 6 weeks of payed "holiday" really worth missing a good resume? Short thinking. I think you have to chose.

                              If you want the resume, resign honorably and tell them that you are going back to collage. That would be a reason they'd understand wouldn't they?

                              If you want the 6 weeks pay - just walk into your boss' office and crap on his desk.
                              He wants the pay, and the company won't let him go.

                              Comment

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