This is hilarious...

[David Floyd]

I wouldn't know what the plumbing looked like, and would probably end up cutting through a gas line or something.

[Jon Miller]

Originally posted by David Floyd
Funny you should say that, because I was thinking about getting my sister to do it next time she comes to visit me. She'd do it for free, probably.

I have had stuff sit for a semester waiting someone who would do it for free

Jon Miller

[TCO]

Re: This is hilarious...

Originally posted by David Floyd
OK, so the other week I bought a little bookshelf, because I really need one...I finally got around to unpacking and assembling it today, before I came to a realization:

I CAN'T!

Keep in mind this is just a basic, 3.5' tall, 7 piece bookshelf, nothing big, and presumably nothing difficult. However, after 20 minutes of fiddling with it, I've managed to get one shelf ALMOST one-half of the way screwed into one of the sides. I had to stop because my wrist hurts from using the screwdriver.

Right now I'm at the point where I'm just gonna pay someone $20 to do it for me, because I don't think I can do it in under, oh, 10 hours on my own, and from now on never, ever, buy furniture that requires assembly - if I have to buy the stuff that's been returned already assembled, or buy display models, I'll do it, because this is ridiculous. I ****in' HATE menial labor!

Sad and pathetic, isn't it?

I spent almost two days putting together one of those full size bookcases. AFter that, I just decided to spend an extra 40 bucks and buy one that was already put together.

[TCO]

Originally posted by David Floyd
And for the record, I CAN use a screwdriver. Using one for extended periods, though, seems to hurt my wrist, probably due to me never building anything on my own in the past.

Speaking of which, I'm about 4,000 miles overdue for an oil change...I should probably get off my ass and go do that, huh?

At least check and maker sure it is topped off.

[David Floyd]

Yeah, I think I'll just run down to Exxon real quick - no excuse not to, as there's an Exxon two minutes from my house, AND I get 10% off because my mom works for them.

[Asher]

Originally posted by David Floyd
Yeah, I think I'll just run down to Exxon real quick - no excuse not to, as there's an Exxon two minutes from my house, AND I get 10% off because my mom works for them.

Let me guess, you don't do the self-serve?

[TCO]

Originally posted by David Floyd
Yeah, I think I'll just run down to Exxon real quick - no excuse not to, as there's an Exxon two minutes from my house, AND I get 10% off because my mom works for them.

Just grab a rag. Heck a paper towel will do. Go down to the car. Pop the hood. Pull the dipstick out. Wipe off the oil. Stick the dip back in. Pull it out. REad the oil level. If you have a hard time locating the dipstick, pull your owner's manual out and look it up. There will be a picture showing the location.

[JohnT]

Re: This is hilarious...

Originally posted by David Floyd
OK, so the other week I bought a little bookshelf, because I really need one...I finally got around to unpacking and assembling it today, before I came to a realization:

I CAN'T!

Keep in mind this is just a basic, 3.5' tall, 7 piece bookshelf, nothing big, and presumably nothing difficult. However, after 20 minutes of fiddling with it, I've managed to get one shelf ALMOST one-half of the way screwed into one of the sides. I had to stop because my wrist hurts from using the screwdriver.

Right now I'm at the point where I'm just gonna pay someone $20 to do it for me, because I don't think I can do it in under, oh, 10 hours on my own, and from now on never, ever, buy furniture that requires assembly - if I have to buy the stuff that's been returned already assembled, or buy display models, I'll do it, because this is ridiculous. I ****in' HATE menial labor!

Sad and pathetic, isn't it?

**points, laughs at DF**

Heh. Just wait to you have kids. EVERYTHING has to be put together!

[JohnT]

Originally posted by Flubber
AS for doing these types of chores, I find I get a disproportionate amount of credit from Mrs Flubber for doing this type of stuff. I just let her see a thousand dijointed pieces and then just curse loudly occasionally.

SILENCE, MAN! There are women on this board - how dare you divulge our secrets so breezily!!!

[cavebear]

This *is* hilarious. I love using real tools. It's such a nice change of pace from working with databases and spreadsheets all day at the office. Working on some tangible keeps me sane (well, to the exent that I am, anyway).

I just hate the idea that there is anything I need to do for myself that I can't do... And I just hate paying other people to do anything.

[cavebear]

Originally posted by JohnT


SILENCE, MAN! There are women on this board - how dare you divulge our secrets so breezily!!!

LOL! There is no household project so easy that you can't make it *sound* harder.

[David Floyd]

cavebear,

Well, unlike you, when it comes to this kinda thing, I have no pride. I pay people to build things, mow lawns, and I even ask directions - quite frequently. I've pulled over to gas stations and asked where the bread aisle is

I just don't see the point in doing for myself what I could easily pay someone else to do

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by loinburger
I pay the ten bucks for an oil change, just 'cause it's worth it to me to have an honest mechanic look at my car every now and then to tell me things like "Yeah, your defibrilator is on fire, you should have it replaced" before my car explodes or something.

Furniture assembly, though? Hell no, I'll do it myself, the furniture's usually at least 30% cheaper when it's unassembled. Besides, manual labor kicks ass -- I built retention walls for about four months last year, and it was the best job I'd ever had.

I have trouble just finding where to put the oil. Many, many years ago I bought a little VW Golf. I refused to pay an extra $50 for the do-it-yourself maintenance manual. When I attempted to change the oil myself I discovered that the dinky little manual that came free with the car was elss than useless - it was downright misleading. The diagram showed a hole in the lower part of the engine as the place to put the oil. Well, low and behold, it actually led into the transmission. Getting that fixed cost me $800.

The thing is with furniture you have to assemble is that it's cheap and generally doesn't look as good or last as long as the real thing.

Defibrillators don't catch on fire, but chest hair does! If the soon to be pronounced dead person is wet, always wipe the chest between the paddles dry before zapping the incipient corpse. Oh sweeeeettttt Jesus does that burning chest hair stink!

[loinburger]

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
Defibrillators don't catch on fire,

Sweet! Previously, I've always been reluctant to use them to jump-start my car when the battery died because I've been concerned about the possibility of fires...

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by loinburger


Sweet! Previously, I've always been reluctant to use them to jump-start my car when the battery died because I've been concerned about the possibility of fires...

I don't recall mentioning car batteries, but go ahead if you must. Just remeber that if you are electrocuted during this procedure that the statistics on out-of -hospital resuscitations are very dismal. Even if you have someone experienced in CPR present at the scene of your demise, the chance of successful resuscitation is only 10% or less. Even within a hospital your chances would be much less than 50%. Your best chance is if you are within the CCU, ICU or surgery, so if you're going to attempt to defibrillate your car I would suggest driving over to the local hospital and driving it upstairs to the Intnesive Care Unit. This won't improve the car's chances, but it will improve yours.