(I hope I don't regret posting this tomorrow )
For as long as I can remember, I've always had some intense anxiety in social situations or anticipation of social situations. I know it's normal to have it to some degree, but I think it went beyond shyness.
For the past couple of years the major effects of this have been treated as a sideeffect from some other medication I was on, only I'm not on medication these days. So I don't get that benefit anymore.
So now, I've essentially become anti-social once again to some extreme points.
I don't, ever, want to call anyone on the phone. I haven't done this in a LONG time and I always get someone else to call if possible. I also instantly dread when the phone rings because I think someone might want to talk to me.
At school I listen to music almost all the time when I'm not in a lecture so as to make me harder to approach to talk to. It's especially bad when I see someone I know that might try to strike up a conversation at a bus stop or something. I'll just avoid eye contact and hope that they don't come talk to me. And if they do come talk to me, I can't wait till it's overwith and it feels like punishment.
When my friends ask me to go out and do something I'll always think up some excuse and not go anywhere.
Even online in instant messaging, I'll almost NEVER message someone first. Almost always, they have to be the one to message me if we're going to talk. I always feel like I'm imposing or something if I message someone. After I'm messaged though, I'm usually okay. And on online forums too, I have no problems there...or with family in person either.
So...
What I'm looking for is some ways to try to get over this, because it's really tearing me up these days. I'm in college for christsake, I should be out enjoying myself.
Medication is simply not an option, I don't want to deal with that stuff anymore - And I don't want to go see another shrink.
So, how can I get back a normal life? I figure on the internet on a forum like this there'll be other people who have been through or are going through this too, so it doesn't hurt I guess...
I know someone will just mention forcing myself to just go out and do stuff a lot -- I've tried that before and all it accomplishes is a dreadful period where I can't wait to get it overwith. If it's something as simple as a houseparty on friday night and I find out on monday, it'd be in the back of my mind all week dreading it. So I don't think that's really an option either.
For as long as I can remember, I've always had some intense anxiety in social situations or anticipation of social situations. I know it's normal to have it to some degree, but I think it went beyond shyness.
For the past couple of years the major effects of this have been treated as a sideeffect from some other medication I was on, only I'm not on medication these days. So I don't get that benefit anymore.
So now, I've essentially become anti-social once again to some extreme points.
I don't, ever, want to call anyone on the phone. I haven't done this in a LONG time and I always get someone else to call if possible. I also instantly dread when the phone rings because I think someone might want to talk to me.
At school I listen to music almost all the time when I'm not in a lecture so as to make me harder to approach to talk to. It's especially bad when I see someone I know that might try to strike up a conversation at a bus stop or something. I'll just avoid eye contact and hope that they don't come talk to me. And if they do come talk to me, I can't wait till it's overwith and it feels like punishment.
When my friends ask me to go out and do something I'll always think up some excuse and not go anywhere.
Even online in instant messaging, I'll almost NEVER message someone first. Almost always, they have to be the one to message me if we're going to talk. I always feel like I'm imposing or something if I message someone. After I'm messaged though, I'm usually okay. And on online forums too, I have no problems there...or with family in person either.
So...
What I'm looking for is some ways to try to get over this, because it's really tearing me up these days. I'm in college for christsake, I should be out enjoying myself.
Medication is simply not an option, I don't want to deal with that stuff anymore - And I don't want to go see another shrink.
So, how can I get back a normal life? I figure on the internet on a forum like this there'll be other people who have been through or are going through this too, so it doesn't hurt I guess...
I know someone will just mention forcing myself to just go out and do stuff a lot -- I've tried that before and all it accomplishes is a dreadful period where I can't wait to get it overwith. If it's something as simple as a houseparty on friday night and I find out on monday, it'd be in the back of my mind all week dreading it. So I don't think that's really an option either.
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