The Closet Door is Unlocked

[Boris Godunov]

Well, based on the studies that showed gay men actually have a physical difference in the brain than heterosexual men, whereas there is no difference between gay and straight women, I would wonder if the issue wasn't more genetic/biological for men and more environmental for women.

Certainly men experience sexual confusion, but I don't think they often go through actual fluctuations in orientations like many women seem to. It may have a lot to do with women being more accepted as nurturing, emotional types, but I don't know if environment can adequately explain the difference.

[Kepler]

The labels of "heterosexual," "homosexual," etc are modern and not very important. To some extent everybody is wired both ways, and there's probably a nice dual bell curve around the 75/25 marks for each gender, independent of cultural concerns.

Don't worry about it. Outside of the public, political arena, only insane people give a crap what you do with your our personal privates. To 'im, lad...

[Jon Miller]

it does not make a lot of sense for it to be genetic only in men

Women face society trying to change their sexuality so much more than men

everyone woman I know who is decently young (or is active on the dating field) has had her sexuality repeatedly and explicitly challenged. Many constantly get asked by boyfreinds, husbands, and lovers to engage in lesbian. Popular culture also uplifts lesbianism.

I am sure you have faced, being a gay male, society constantly trying to force you into a male heterosexual identity. Women get pulled to ways in modern society, towards lesbianism and towards heterosexuality. It is no wonder to me that many seem to be confused.

Jon Miller

[Lorizael]

I just want you all to know that I'm not worried about not being straight. I don't think it's a bad thing if I'm bi (actually a bit exciting). Thanks for all of the support here. And I'm pretty sure at this point that I'm not straight. At the mall today and... well I'm guessing none of you care about the hot guys I saw.

Guess I'll have to go find those ignorant people and tell them that I am offended!

And it is true that no where in our society (except of course for the gay community) is homosexuality among males supported. It is at best tolerated. Whereas this is different for lesbianism.

The problem for men (and women too) is that the day you are born, everyone assumes you are straight. And you are treated as such throughout all of your childhood and teenage years. Because of this, it can be quite difficult when you realize that your sexuality is not what you thought it was. All your life, you've only known straight people. I wonder if it helps to have gay relatives when growing up.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Jon Miller


I don't really think so

I think that environment just does a better job of screwing up women's sexual identity than it does men's (or it appears that way, I now figure that men are generally much more confused about their sexual identity than they usually let on)

Jon Miller

My sexual orientation is not "screwed up" because I'm gay. It's normal for me to be gay.

[Jon Miller]

Originally posted by MrFun


My sexual orientation is not "screwed up" because I'm gay. It's normal for me to be gay.

I did not say so

Jon Miller

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by MrFun
Just don't go looking for your older brother's handgun when you realize you're gay, like I did.

I'm glad the gun case was empty.

I know what you mean! My brother's gun case was always empty when I wanted it to be full, yet it was always full when I really really wanted it to be empty!

[finkian]

myself, I started out thinking that I was straight-- even though I was messing around with the boy next door throughout my childhood. Then, in middle school, I finally came out to myself. However, I didn't really stop being ashamed until I decided f--- the world, I'm pretty damn cool anyway. It's a cliche, but it works.
I say, good for you, lorizael, that you are mature enough not to be freaked out by this... development. I had an ex who came to date me through the same process of discovering something they had never considered before-- and he is very well adjusted with his sexuality. I foresee some happy relationships in your future.

[Lorizael]

Wohoo, someone sees something good in my future!

[Rasbelin]

My five cents...

It's still a struggle for me to decide how I should define my own sexual personality. Heterosexual with sexual gay relationships or bisexual. And let's just say it's really not something you can make up your mind easily on, or at least after months I still haven't done my "final" decision, but AFAIK I'm currently seeing myself as straigth. So Lorizael, just don't push too much, or the decision will be bad. You can always use your own mind as a test platform, before you tell anyhting to friends/family/etc.

[Lorizael]

I've just come out to you all now. This has been on my mind for many months. And I'm never going to make a final decision really. If I find me a good man, then I'll go and be with a good man. And if I find me a good woman, I'll go and be with a good woman.

[Rasbelin]

So are you now seeing yourself as bi-sexual?

[Lorizael]

In a perfect world, one should not consider oneself straight until one has had a romantic relationship with one of the opposite sex (and enjoyed being with said person) and a relationship with one of the same sex (and not enjoyed being with said person).

But we do not live in a perfect world. So it was assumed I was straight the moment I was born. I found out that I was attracted to women. I did not find out that I was not attracted to men. So I cannot really know that I am not entirely straight until I have a relationship with a man and enjoy being with the man.

But I think that there is the distinct possibility that I might in fact enjoy such a relationship. So sure, why not, yah, I'm bi.

I'm not sure what possessed me to speak the way I just did. Or maybe it only sounds odd in my head. Hmm.

[Giancarlo]

Then this is one flawed world...

It might be hard for you... as I know, since I am still confused and even moreso then a bat flying during day. I hope you find somebody...

[Boris Godunov]

This thread makes me all, what's the term...faklempt?

Just reminds me of my own period of agonizing over it and finally coming to accept things as they were. Very emotional stuff...