The Closet Door is Unlocked

[Lorizael]

But no one's coming out. Yet.

Over the past several months the idea that I might not be entirely straight has been forming in my mind. A few days ago I realized it might actually be true (when you have fantasies about men instead of women, you know something's up).

But I don't know yet. My social skills are such that I can't simply go out and get a date (man or woman).

So how does one know whether one is straight or not? If it turns out I'm not straight... then I'm bi because women are still quite attractive.

Yah I'm using Apolyton as a support group right now but there doesn't seem to be anyone else for me to talk to at the moment.

[Asher]

Don't worry about it, Lorizael.

For some reason people love to try to figure out who they are by digging down deep inside, seeing if they're gay or straight.

I'm one of those people who takes the "I don't give a ****" route.

If you're attracted to a woman, go for it.
If you're attracted to a man, go for it.

There's no need to figure out if you're gay or straight really. If it's not obvious to you, then it's obviously a case where you're a little bit of both. Over time you may end up leaning one way or the other, but it doesn't matter...go with the flow.

Many men who end up straight later in their life have a phase where they have some feelings towards men, some gay men start off as straight and go gay (Elton John comes to mind). Others don't go in either direction their whole lives, just drive right down the center line, and that's great too...

[Dan Severn]

Who th' hell puts a lock on a closet door?

I kid.

Do whatever you feel is right.

It's best not to overanalyze one's pysche.

[Lorizael]

I'd be perfectly willing to just go with the flow, but that might cause problems the first time.

I just don't want to find out I'm straight when I'm about to have sex with a man. That might be rude...

But that's probably something I'll just have to deal with. Thanks, btw.

[Asher]

I just don't want to find out I'm straight when I'm about to have sex with a man. That might be rude...

You have no idea how common that is.

[Lorizael]

Oh really?

[Boris Godunov]

Go forth and find a hot man. Taketh him to bed. Verily, you will then know.

Make sure he's around your age and is also in the phase of "exploring." That will reduce the pressure and, should you realize it's not for you during your time together, won't make it all that much of a deal (you are both just experimenting, after all!).

Good luck, my child.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Lorizael
Oh really?

Oh yeah. Especially around HS/College.

Likewise, it's pretty amazing how far a guy who is "straight" will go once he's a bit drunk.

Around the HS/College age a huge portion of the population is questioning, actively or passively, their sexuality. As corny as it sounds, you're not alone.

[Lorizael]

You know Boris, that biblical speak of yours goes perfect with your avatar. I'm not sure why. What is your avatar anyway?

And my name's not verily (Sorry, I had to do it, it's in my blood... damn my father).

Anyway yah, I'll go out and find myself a good man.

[Boris Godunov]

The avatar is Russian bass Fyodor Chaliapin in the role of Boris Godunov, c. 1910 or so, I think.

[MrFun]

Lorizael, the first person that anyone ever comes out to first, is themselves.

You might discover you're gay, or bisexual, or you might realize that you are straight after all.

Good luck, man.

[Flubber]

No need to label yourself-- you'll figure out what you like in time

Also, fantasies are not always indicitave of preferred or desired behaviors -- some women have rape fantasies or fantasies or other wild fantasies but have no intention or desire to act on them.

Just the fact that you are thinking about all this means that you are at least open to the prospect . . .


ASHER -- I suspect that there are a lot of guys out there that have bi tendencies but they consciously or subconconciously repress them due to the remaining social stigma ( or due to having a monogomous heterosexual relationship)-- I know of a fair number of guys who went for man-man sex (often when drunk but I think they would overplay their drunkeness) as long as they could be the "boy"

[Starchild]

I'm one of those people who takes the "I don't give a ****"

Not giving a ****, hun, would make you asexual. As a bi, aren't you giving one to anything on two legs?

I just don't want to find out I'm straight when I'm about to have sex with a man. That might be rude...

Oh wow. You just described the first date I went on.

[Urban Ranger]

Do you like to touch men? Do you like to be touched by men?

[Lorizael]

Flubber, I'm pretty sure I have been repressing such thoughts in the past because of my damn not growing up in a vacuum.

And I don't feel the need to label myself, but there is no way for me to talk about this without using words. I don't wan to know if I'm bisexual or gay, I won't to know if I'm not straight. If you get my meaning.

Starchild... sorry to hear that.