Hydey's Garden Corner - Your Problems Solved With A Smile

[kcsaff]

Freshman year my roommate decided to leave some low-light plant of his in direct sunlight. Its leaves got scorched so he cut off the burnt parts, about a third of each leaf, with scissors. It continued to do poorly, of course, and one day he decided that low-light plants really just want beer. The plant died. What were we talking about?

[ravagon]

LOL@Wilderess
Now there's something that should bring the almighty Hydey out from wherever he's hiding if anything will.

[finbar]

Originally posted by ravagon
I'm thinking removing the dead bits (95%)would pretty much amount to your earlier suggestion about ditching it and getting another one at this stage.

It's worth a try. I've had similar problems with Maidenhair Ferns - leaves/fronds dying off - in the past. Removing the dead stuff has revitalised the plant. Of course, if yours has suffered terminal damage due to the roots drying out, then the cause is lost. It can't hurt to try, though. Just think how gratified you'll feel if it works. About as gratified as Horse feels now that Hydey has got in touch with his goat-leading and leather apron-wearing superiors and teed up today's rain.

Wouldn't the dead matter still provide some sustenance if left where it is - My fern having canabilistic tendencies and all?

No.

[Alexander's Horse]

There is no point asking Hydey about vegetable gardens or fruit trees.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
The Masons control the rain?

You didn't know? They rub a couple of goats together before flaying them with the leather aprons.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
I wonder what Hydey feeds his garden - probably chips.

I gather Mrs Hydey once sent him out for tan bark chips and he came back with ... you know what ...

[finbar]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
There is no point asking Hydey about vegetable gardens or fruit trees.

That's not strictly true. He knows all about growing them. It's the bit that comes after that that's foreign to him.

[Alexander's Horse]

I only have one small patch of lawn. The front is a native garden with sprinkler system which does just fine as long as I remember to turn the sprinklers on for an hour every six months or so.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Wilderess
I love this thread.

Dear Hydey the Garden Guru, I have tried to improve a potato plant (Solanum tuberosum) by breeding so that this cousin of a nightshade would produce chips, as my son who is a nerd who lives on chips and coke would get his chips. The problem is that my son likes bacon-flavoured chips, but I have only succeeded in producing onion-flavoured chips. This may be the result of onions growing in a near-by field. Now I have decided to move the potato field into the vicinity of a piggery. Do you think this would do the trick or should I plant slices of bacon down under with the potatoes?

My hydrangea seems to suffer from clorosis. My friend says that I should give it the coffee grounds of my morning coffee. Do you think it would need bacon and eggs as well?

Thank God! Finally! Someone who isn't treating this thread with the contempt it deserves!

[finbar]

Originally posted by kcsaff
Freshman year my roommate decided to leave some low-light plant of his in direct sunlight. Its leaves got scorched so he cut off the burnt parts, about a third of each leaf, with scissors. It continued to do poorly, of course, and one day he decided that low-light plants really just want beer. The plant died. What were we talking about?

We're obviously talking about college jocks on football scholarships.

[finbar]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
a native garden

A euphemism beloved by inept and/or lazy gardeners Australia-wide.

[Wilderess]

I confess I got the idea of plant improvement from the old Finnish custom of putting Baltic herring (Clupea harengus membras) in the potato field between the rows. I think it is an ingenious way of making ready-made potato-herring-casserole, which is an old Finnish dish.

[Alexander's Horse]

Originally posted by finbar


A euphemism beloved by inept and/or lazy gardeners Australia-wide.

Careful finbar - I saw what you did to that camelia bush.

[MOBIUS]

Are there many plants that can stand being uprooted and replanted about 15 minutes later? Only there's all these plants in the Domain, they've far too many than they need...

[Alexander's Horse]

Why take the plant when you can take the cutting? If you asked one of the gardeners at the domain or Centenial Park or the Botanical Gardens nicely I'm sure they would give you a few cuttings for your flat. It doesn't harm the plant.

You seem to keep forgetting you are now living in Australia and not anal retentive England.