Hydey's Garden Corner - Your Problems Solved With A Smile

[finbar]

Originally posted by ravagon


Actually that would be a Hussar.
But it would take someone really petty to point that out so I won't.

Bugger off, ravagon, you're stuffing up my gag in the post after yours! Please edit the post immediately!

[Alexander's Horse]

Look I hang out with Americans online much more than you guys do so its a miracle I can still spell at all okay?

Btw, just saw Coldwizard's location - "Whenever you buy Poly merchandise I will kill a Macedonian."

[finbar]

He obviously saves his wit for here and not your forum.

You realise Hydey's going to get home tonight, notice his thread has quadrupled in size, and expect a plethora of challenging questions? Only to discover it's ravagon's bloody fern and a Finnish Benny Hill?

[Alexander's Horse]

Hydey schmydey, my mum knows more about gardeing than he does.

I just checked my forum and its now got 40 Members - should take off any time soon

[finbar]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
I just checked my forum and its now got 40 Members - should take off any time soon

Yeah, your forum's sort of a Penny Dreadful of the internet forums, isn't it? A cheap investment in hope?

[Wilderess]

Originally posted by finbar
He obviously saves his wit for here and not your forum.

You realise Hydey's going to get home tonight, notice his thread has quadrupled in size, and expect a plethora of challenging questions? Only to discover it's ravagon's bloody fern and a Finnish Benny Hill?

What? My questions are the paragon of a challenging question if there ever was one! And it's Bertha, my dear finbar, Bertha!

[finbar]

Bertha Hill? Or Calloway's Big Bertha? The golf club?

[Wilderess]

I enjoy enormously these hilarious fun threads, but every time I climb over the mountain high threshold to participate in English, I finally end up with a joke or a pun I don't understand.

Bertha Chippie Hill - the jazz singer, but the other?

And since I now entered the Serious Rant Mode, I solemnly declare that I agree with the Chinese proverb: gardening is the only important thing there is, and even gardening is not so very important.

[Hydey]

Originally posted by ravagon


On-topic: Is there any way to resurrect a fern from the dead? I left it on the balcony in full sunlight for a couple of weeks.
In my defense it didn't come with an instruction manual.

Give it plenty of water and put it in a semi shaded location, don't cut the dead leaves off until new ones begin to appear.

[Hydey]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
Its more the case that long periods of neglect followed by short bursts of intensive care is my gardening style.

Even my Photinia Robusta are not robusta - probably because I haven't watered them since I put them in 2 years ago. I'll have to do something about that soon.......

Forget the water, give them some sun

stupid ****** think sun shines through fences

[Hydey]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
Its raining here today, which will take the brown tinge off my lawn and I didn't have to do a damn thing

The rain will leach whatever nitrogen was left in your poor lawn,

I can hear your lawn screaming from here "feed me , feed me"

[Alexander's Horse]

Originally posted by Hydey


Give it plenty of water and put it in a semi shaded location, don't cut the dead leaves off until new ones begin to appear.

Jeez Hydey we told him that 2 pages ago

[Hydey]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
The Masons control the rain?

At least the masons exist!

unlike your bloody God

No I am not a mason before anyone asks

[Hydey]

Originally posted by Wilderess
I love this thread.

Dear Hydey the Garden Guru, I have tried to improve a potato plant (Solanum tuberosum) by breeding so that this cousin of a nightshade would produce chips, as my son who is a nerd who lives on chips and coke would get his chips. The problem is that my son likes bacon-flavoured chips, but I have only succeeded in producing onion-flavoured chips. This may be the result of onions growing in a near-by field. Now I have decided to move the potato field into the vicinity of a piggery. Do you think this would do the trick or should I plant slices of bacon down under with the potatoes?

My hydrangea seems to suffer from clorosis. My friend says that I should give it the coffee grounds of my morning coffee. Do you think it would need bacon and eggs as well?

I hate this thread.

Remove the soil away from some of the tubers (potatoes) and allow them to turn green , once they are nice and green take a big bite of one .

RESULT = No more dumb questions from you.


Kiddies , don't try this at home

[Wilderess]

I love white clover, and I never cut the lawn (cut? why not mowe, as in lawnmower?) before white clover has flowered. The grass grows quite long, but the clover flowers are so nice, plus the grass grows in both ends, above the earth as well as down under. So the roots get longer, and simsalabim! after that the grass tolerates drought much better even when you cut it short again.

And another thing: IIRC, clover develops nitrogen in soil. Ecological fertilizing, that is!