Need advice from relationship gurus: possible bisexual girlfriend

[monkspider]

hmm, after much ebb and flow on this long thread, I don't think we ever quite figured it out.
I think it would be best compared it to how some guys simply will not date girls who smoke or perhaps how some guys simply can't possibly be attracted to red-heads no matter what.
In short, I simply don't have the answer.

[orange]

but there are reasons for it...

I don't want to date a girl that smokes because i view cigarettes as a waste of money, a cause of bad breath and yellow nails, and a painful nuisance of smoke while they do it.

Bisexuals, however, have no such side effects.

[orange]

Originally posted by orange
Bisexuals, however, have no such side effects...

....that I'm aware of

[monkspider]

, well I am a rather outspoken supporter of gay/bisexual rights on this board. So I hate to seem like I'm being close-minded on this subject. But by whatever stroke of randomness that causes such things, I simply don't want a bi girlfriend. In fact, by this same stroke of randomness, I *REALLY* don't want one.

[orange]

are you afraid that a girl is more likely to cheat on you if she's bisexual?

Rules of thumb -

A) trust people until they give you a reason not to trust them.
B) Don't trust many people

I'm kinda curious what it is, even though I'm not involved...you seem quite vocal about this...why should you not love the girl just becuase she turns out to be bisexual?

[monkspider]

Well I don't mean to suggest that bisexuals are unworthy of love or anything of that nature. Quite on the contrary, in fact this thread has shown quite ably that there are more than enough willing suiters for bisexual girls. But it is simply not a trait I would want in a lifelong significant other. I'm sorry I can't give you a more concise answer Orange.

[MrFun]

Spencer, I hope your questions have been answered.

Besides, you would not accuse a white man for not wanting to enter a marriage potential relationship with a black woman, or a Hispanic woman would you of being a racist would you?

Mono-racial relationships do not necessarily indicate that one or the other in the relationship is a racist.

And I'm sorry I could not give you a more concrete reason for my case with bisexual men.

[SpencerH]

Originally posted by Mercator

Well I guess this may illustrate my point of view. He should continue loving her, whats changed? I'm sure it would be a shock, but either you care or you dont.

So would you rather "give up" your heterosexuality than admit that something rather essential came up between you two?

How about cheating then? Two people have a marvellous relationship, except one of them has someone "on the side". If the other found out, would you find it normal if that person wouldn't mind, since the relationship was going so well anyway?

I've been married for 22 years. I can honestly say that if my wife told me that she had been born a male, I wouldn't give a $hit about it.

For me, cheating is a much more complex situation. Theoretically, it should be possible for the relationship to go on. In practice though it doesnt seem to happen (at least among the people I know).

[MrFun]

Spencer, did you read my last post?

[SpencerH]

Originally posted by MrFun
Besides, you would not accuse a white man for not wanting to enter a marriage potential relationship with a black woman, or a Hispanic woman would you of being a racist would you?

What else would you call exclusion based solely on race? If it was a friend of mine, I'd still call him out on it. I understand that people are pressured to accept certain viewpoints because of cultural and social norms. Such circumstances dont change that exclusion based on preconceived ideas is bigotry.

[MrFun]

But Spencer, how can you call my perceptions bigoted towards bisexuals, when I am comfortable relating with them in every aspect except for just one --- monogamous relationships??

I can be co-workers and/or friends with bisexuals.
I recognize bisexuals as deserving of legitimacy with their identity.

Why do I need to write out a psychological or sociological thesis to defend a personal choice of mine when it does not interfere with my relations with bisexuals in all other aspects??

[SpencerH]

MF

Its difficult to have this discussion in two places. You dont need to defend your choice, but you are. Clearly some of the other readers on the other thread agree with me. You've said you dont know why you wouldnt consider a monogomous relationship with a bi-male. All I'm saying is maybe you need to know why?

[MrFun]

Ok, you're right -- I need to know for certain, why I feel this way.

I could start corresponding with someone over private messages, who is a bisexual Apolyton member about this to help me clarify my reasons for my choice in this matter.

[bigvic]

So I'm sitting here in my apartment on a Sat. evening (sun morning)w/ my friends, including a hot young woman i won't be you know whating, and thats ok. I can flirt all i want to, right? I think she is flirting. What are you doing, monkspider? OK guys, wish me luck. Every dog has his day, right?