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**Smash** · May 24, 2002, 03:20

That is pretty much what girls do believe it or not.My ol lady is always commenting on this one's boobs or that one's butt.Its fairly normal.Its societal conditioning.They are always comparing....

However,its all fairly common for women to have had at least 1 lesbian experience.

hope that clears it up

**Smash** · May 24, 2002, 03:22

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**Serb** · May 24, 2002, 03:23

I don't see any problem in this. Every girls doing the same.

**monkspider** · May 24, 2002, 03:23

thanks for trying to cheer me up Smash *sniffles*

**monkspider** · May 24, 2002, 03:26

Grrrrrrrr, are there no girls in the entire world that are attracted to other girls?

**Alexander's Horse** · May 24, 2002, 03:31

Ask to watch.

**monkspider** · May 24, 2002, 03:34

See, I know most guys might prefer this, as AH demonstrates, but if I only have one absolute requirement in a girl, it's that she isn't attracted to other girls.
Am I hopeless?

**Alexander's Horse** · May 24, 2002, 03:35

Originally posted by monkspider
I only have one absolute requirement in a girl, it's that she isn't attracted to other girls.
Am I hopeless?

No, just a pervert. Pervert!

**monkspider** · May 24, 2002, 03:36

**Sikander** · May 24, 2002, 03:43

As Apolyton's yet to be acknowledged expert on bisexual girlfriends, let me weigh in here.

I am assuming that you are fairly young, ie in your twenties as is your girlfriend. I understand (I think anyway) why you are leery of having a bi-sexual girlfriend, it makes you worry that you will be unable to fulfill her in whatever ways you think she finds women attractive. IMO this is really not your problem unless your girlfriend turns out to actually be gay. Your feelings are completely understandable from a psychological standpoint, but they are difficult justify to certain jingoistic people of a pc bent. Tough t!tties for them, you're the one who has to learn to live with these feelings, and its not for anyone else to judge.

Probably the largest outstanding point here is that you really don't have any evidence that your girlfriend is really bisexual. She has certainly given you some reason to suspect, but she has denied it. Which leaves you with no good choice other than to attempt to put your self at ease by drawing her out on the matter as delicately as possible. In general I like to take people at their word, and I hesitate to not do so unless they have given me a very good reason not to. This obviously goes double for my S.O. It is important for your own peace of mind to be able to trust your girlfriend, and it is important for the health of your relationship that your girlfriend feel trusted. This is why any attempt to press her on this issue must be done with greatest delicacy. If she seems defensive, then you should wait for her to bring the subject up. If you cannot do so then keep in mind that you are risking "the circle of trust", and perhaps the relationship itself.

This may or may not set you at ease a bit, but it is my contention that there is little chance that you will lose your girlfriend because of her sexual orientation. Your relationship will succeed or fail based upon what each of you brought into it and your actions since then. If she runs off with a Brittany look-alike your relationship (and to be more specific, she) was not ready for prime time. This angle is often used subconsciously by people who are not emotionally prepared for a serious committed monogamous relationship. It allows them the perfect excuse to break away from a relationship which is making them increasingly uncomfortable the closer it moves to marriage, and for the weak-willed it even provides a good chance that they won't have to do the breaking up. Their conscience can be soothed because they don't have to take any responsibility themselves, nor do they have to leave any responsibility on their partner for the breakup. You mention that you are scheduled to move in with this girl recently. How sure are you that she is still in to that? This seems like a better angle to pursue in conversation than directly going to the bi thing, because IMO it doesn't put her on the spot about an issue which is really tangential to the really important question of whether you two are ready to take your relationship to the next step.

**Sikander** · May 24, 2002, 03:49

Originally posted by monkspider
See, I know most guys might prefer this, as AH demonstrates, but if I only have one absolute requirement in a girl, it's that she isn't attracted to other girls.
Am I hopeless?

I'm amending my statement based upon this comment. Are you ready to have a real committed relationship? Not with some idealized version of a woman that doesn't exist, but with a real woman? If so then let this go. The important thing is not her meeting every item on your checklist, it's whether you two can be happy in the long run, bring out the best in each other and grow together. Your fixation on this suggests that perhaps you are having second thoughts. It's ok to not be ready, but it's important to know why and to not jerk other people around because you don't know yourself well-enough not to.

**monkspider** · May 24, 2002, 03:53

Thanks so much for the advice Sikander.
We are actually going to be moving in in about a month or so. Thus, that is why I feel the need to address the subject soon. You have had a lot of good things to say about how to broach the subject. Once again, thanks so much. However, I must reiterate that, for whatever strange psychological reason, I simply can't be with a girl that finds other girls attractive. The very thought of trying to learn to accept that my girlfriend finds other girls attractive makes my heart wrench. I wish that I were like AH here, but sadly, I am not.
Once again, thanks very much for your advice, i have found it to be most useful.

**monkspider** · May 24, 2002, 03:55

Sik- I feel that I am ready for a serious relationship, in fact I have never been a guy to pursue a promiscous lifestyle. I think I have at least, more or less considered, a serious relationship since I was 16 or 17. This is just a very odd hangup that perhaps I am the only guy in the world takes so seriously

**Promethus** · May 24, 2002, 04:22

I do not understand

1st Monkspider starts a Mod to Civ III
2nd Monkspider disapears
3rd Monkspider reapears and says he got married
4th Monkspider has a girlfriend he is not dealing with very well.

What am I missing here?

EDIT: Typo

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Need advice from relationship gurus: possible bisexual girlfriend

Need advice from relationship gurus: possible bisexual girlfriend

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