The Conquest Thread

[Mercator]

It's probably best if we end the war and go to pre-war conditions, as a peace treaty... That is, if Tsar Boris and President Firelad agree.
I will disband my alliance with SF, which was mainly a wartime alliance... But I will, of course, remain on friendly terms with them.

Here's a full-fledged peace plan:

The Phobos Pact should become an international assembly, with representatives of all countries, and none with veto rights.
I suggest this assembly will get a head-quarters in one of the major countries not involved in this war and (largely) neutral (i.e. Greater Finland, People's Republic of New Zealand or other Honolulu Pact members, or Kaladar).
This international organisation should keep watch over world peace, human rights etc.

I will keep my promise and give western Australia to the PRNZ, except the area around Darwin (Arnhemland), which I give to the Paradise Isles. I will also give Thailand to, a lage portion of the South China Sea and Hainan to the Paradise Isles. I will also abandon my territories in the Indian Ocean, but only under the condition that it will remain independant.
For the time being, Central America should be placed under direct Phobos Pact control.
I will also disarm my empire, and I urge others to do so with me, or at least those involved in this war. There's nothing wrong with armies, but the sheer size and sophistication of the world's armed forces and country's defenses are alarming.

In addition I call for a ban on (human) cloning, or at least restricted and certainly not for military uses. Human rights, animal rights and environmantalism should become a more important issue on the world's agenda.

Let me know in how much every one of you agree with this... If an agreement is not met, I will not keep my side of the bargain, except the gifts to the Paradise Isles. If the PRNZ agrees, it will still get Western Australia.

[History Guy]

Hey, Mercator! We just posted at the same time! Hahahahaha!
----

After Pigtree leaves the room, King Vlad History Guy leaves the epic history, and reads Mercator's demands. In response, History Guy calls Mercator personally and says: "Yeah, alright."

[Mercator]

... That's great to hear. We're one step closer to world peace.

[Kassiopeia]

You'll owe me one for this, History...

President Kass of the republic of Greater Finland is so preoccupied with listening to the works of Jean-Michel Jarre that he decides to cease GF in it's entirety to EEE, if the area of Real Life Finland is made a demilitarised neutral zone called meagerly Finland.

Kass also wishes to remain as the ruler of Smaller Finland, and foresees himself as a global negotiator for peace... also, the UN HQ remains in Smaller Finland, and Kass might become the Secretary General.

In short= History Guy gets the current areas and assets of GF, if I get to keep Smaller Finland that is declared competely neutral.

[History Guy]

King Vlad History Guy flies to Finnland to meet Kassiopeia in person. With tears in his eyes, and huge bands of military detachments by his side, he grudingly accepts Kassiopeia's proposal. On the electronic map, Greater Finnland disappears, and it's lands are annexed to the Empire of Eastern Europe. Though there is rejoicing, there is also sadness. A great empire, and a great man, have left the world's stage for the most part. Southern Finnland is his, of course, but he'll never hold half as much power again. "A great man indeed," says History Guy, "a man who has the courage to do something that many do not wish to do."

"Thank you, my friend," says the King to Kassiopeia, who is departing for Southern Finnland. "We shall always honor you on this day...is that Okey-Dokey?! From now on, this is Kass-day. Pigtree! Write that down!"

And with this, the world's history is changed forever.

[Az]

The Probe slowly flies through space, carrying the latest developments in earth politics to Incubia....

[Frankychan]

Chairman Frank of the People's Republic of New Zealand listens to the eloquent words of Mercator and has this to say:

"Gaining control of Western Australia will be a grand addition to Soviet territory. I will agree to ALL demands of the new laws EXCEPT disarmament! The PRNZ will not be caught unawares against future aggression. Our new kilo-long spitting sheep are a grand addition to Soviet arms. We also need to protect our sovereign right to consum vast quantities of liquor! Namely margarita's, pina colada's, and most recently daquiri's!

No disarmament for us!"

[History Guy]

A reporter is talking to Vlad History Guy, King of the Empire of Eastern Europe. "Yes," says his Majesty, the King, "I accepted Kassiopeia's generous offer so that it wouldn't be offered to, say, Mongolia, or the Southern Federation."

The reporter thoughtfully nods his head, cries in a loud, nasual voice, "Yeah right!" and kicks Pigtree in the shins, before running away down the hall laughing maniacally.

"Stop that man!" cries the King. Shortly afterward, there is sounds of gunfire. "Ah well. Oh, hi Mrs. von Schoernvoortz." The Castle's landlady comes over, with a smile. Accompanying her is a medium sized, brown dog, whose tail is between it's legs.

"Well, your Highness, I wanted to give you a present on this nice occasion. She's a dog! Her name is Anya, and she's a mutt!"

"Oh, how kind." The King leans over to pat the dog, but it shies away in absolute horror.

"Oh, I'm sorry. She's afraid of hands. I think that when I found her she was an abused dog...see, she evens hides from me! She's afraid of me, hands...she must have been spankied...afraid of hoses too...probably hit with them...she's afraid of fawcetts...probably hit with those too the poor dear...afraid of armadillos...you know how some owners just love to wack their dogs with armadillos...men, she's afraid of...same goes for women...and especially one's with mustaches...she's afraid of water...belts...beds...skies..."

The dog took one look at the floor and yelped. "...Tile floors...most everything really. She's suicidal. I think she's also afraid of me. But, the only thing she's not afraid of is you!"

"Oh! Great!" With one pat, the dog backs away and screams. The bark sounds very much like 'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!'

"Well...maybe I was mistaken...sorry..."

"Ne'er ye minde, Mrs. von Schoernvoortz...tis the thought that counts, me lady..."

[History Guy]

It's a bump, me bucko!

[Az]

Bump

[ranskaldan]

Alright, since nothing is happening, lemme kickstart the events.

New Canada has, with grave reluctance, annexed Newfoundland, and made Alaska into an autonomous region.

In other news, Greater Palestine and New Canada has formed the "Nafta", or the Newly Assemblied Firebreathing Terror Androids organization.

[devilmunchkin]

is mercator bowing out of all lands?
*begins preparation for a national Holiday in Paradise Isles. Here we find excuses to party (helps tourism..drives up revenue..*wink wink*). It's the celebration for some of the indigenous tribes religious beliefs. It's a sacred holiday. We have many tribes and are tolerant of all religions..especially ones that party alot. hehehehe,,,begins to set up tiki torches by the hundreds.*

[ranskaldan]

Hey..... nothing has happened here for such a long time..... D'you think we should start over with a blank map?

[Az]

no. That would just start a new land grab. I think rules have to be set for this one.

[Mercator]

I should update the map again... But this game is pretty much over.
In any case, I don't think I'm in for a next time. I'm sure there are plenty others interested, though. Maybe you or someone else could start a new one, you'll find out soon enough if there's enough interest.