What American's Ought to Know About Canada, But Don't

[chequita guevara]

Okay, this is prompted by a comment notyoueither made in another thread. Let's face it, we Americans don't know squat about Canada, except that it's North of us, whichever way that is, and it's cold, it has sucky beer and they play a lot of hockey. Oh, yeah, and they're communists, the whole lot of them. Despite this, and our apalling lack of knowledge about our cousins, they seem to like us, at least to our face, but who knows what they really say about us up there in Canada. It's not like we really pay attention.

So, my dear Canadian friends. What should Americans know about Canuks? Go easy on us. Make it interesting. Don't complain that we call ourselves Americans. We were the first country in the Americas, we got dibs on the names. You shouldn't have stayed loyal to Britain.

I'll start with a few Canadian fun facts I know.

One out of every five Canadians visits Florida at least once a year. One out of every thirteen Canadians lives in Florida year round.

Canada has roughly the population of California.

While Canada has never had a civil war, they did have a couple of revolts which led to new colonies being established in Manitoba and Saskatchewan, IIRC.

[Ben Kenobi]

1. Our political system is a parliamentary system modelled after Britain, and not the US.

Our representatives, represent a geographical region within a province, and not a state. Unlike in the US there is no overlap of representation between representatives, at both the federal and provincial levels.

[Ramo]

Samantha Bee wrote a great bit on Canada in America: The Book.

Unfortunately, I can't find the book at the moment.

[Asher]

Canada coddles a bunch of French rejects with their own province, and we throw billions of dollars at them to keep them happy, but they still *****.

Canada's federal government is dominated with people from Quebec, and as such it is corrupt. One of Chretien's best friends/minister of Transport was just connected to the mafia.

Alberta and Ontario are considered to be the only "have" provinces in the whole country (as opposed to "have-not"), and subsidize the rest of the nation, because they're not as good as us.

People are fleeing Saskatchewan (socialist) en masse to Alberta (conservative), as they're bording provinces.

Alberta has more oil than Saudi Arabia does.

Alberta is debt-free, and has a projected surplus of about 40% of the entire budget this year.

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
1. Our political system is a parliamentary system modelled after Britain, and not the US.

Our representatives, represent a geographical region within a province, and not a state. Unlike in the US there is no overlap of representation between representatives, at both the federal and provincial levels.

So do you have a bicameral or unicameral Parliament?

[Ted Striker]

Canadian schoolchildren don't shoot each other

[Asher]

Originally posted by Ted Striker
Canadian schoolchildren don't shoot each other

No, we do.

We also gang-beat 14 year old girls to death.

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Ted Striker
Canadian schoolchildren don't shoot each other

Yet. One of the first mass shootings I remember occured in a Toronto university, IIRC, just before the spate of office shootings in the US in the 80s.

[joncha]

Dang. I'm slow to the punch tonight.

[joncha]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara


So do you have a bicameral or unicameral Parliament?

Canada's Parliament is bicameral in theory, but unicameral in practice (the unelected senate is only there to provide a "sober second thought")

[Ben Kenobi]

So do you have a bicameral or unicameral Parliament?

Technically bicameral.

We have a Senate, modelled after the House of Lords in Britain, and a House of Commons.

In reality though, we have a unicameral system, as the Senate has been stripped of all authority.

However, there is a debate going on right now about how to substantially reform the senate to become a legislative body, along the lines of the US senate.

[Asher]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Yet. One of the first mass shootings I remember occured in a Toronto university, IIRC, just before the spate of office shootings in the US in the 80s.

Are you thinking about the Ecole Polytechnique(sp?) shooting in Montreal(?)?

[Ramo]

Here it is:

The story of America's independence from the England is very well known, but did you know Canda was once part of the British Empire? It's true! We Canadians threw off the same British yoke as you, once we took a leisurely route to liberation. In fact, you might say, we've been "declaring" our "independence" for more than 200 years! Kind of!

Our style of revolution centered less on bloodshed and guerrilla warfare and more on the time-tested strategy of "not making a fuss." For example, at the same time you were declaring war on the English monarchy, we were enjoying privileges granted to us by King George in the Treaty of Versailles, which gave us fishing rights off the coast of Newfoundland, provided we not dry or cure fish on land. (And by the way, we later got that right to cure and dry fish on land, thank you very much!)

All I'm saying is that there is more than one way to skin a cat. Not that I am in any way saying I would like to harm a cat. Quite the contrary, I like cats. Unless America wants Canada to skin a cat, in which case we will gladly do it.

The point is we took our time, waiting for The Canadian Moment to arrive, rather than forcing it upon the world. We waited, in the cold, watching the US, most of Central and South America, Africa and Asia throw off their colonial oppressors. I think it was us and Belize that held out.

And our patience ultimately paid off, for in the glorious year of 1982, we took the bold step of gettting permission from England to amend our constitution so we could amend our constitution - without getting permission from England. Let freedom ring!

Now the only remnants of the tyrannical rule of Queen Elizabeth II are an appointed "Governor General" who represents her in the Canadian governmental affairs. And the Queen is still officially our head of state. Plus she's on our money. And when we take a government job, we have to swear a loyalty pledge to her. All in all, a small price to pay for an independence achieved without bloodshed, violence, glory, or independence.

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Asher

Are you thinking about the Ecole Polytechnique(sp?) shooting in Montreal(?)?

If that's the one where the dude blamed women for his being a complete loser, and shot a bunch of them in a class room after letting the male students go, then yes.

[Ben Kenobi]

Actually, Ramo, Canada has had independence in foreign policy since Vimy.