What do I need to become a citizen of Izrael?

[Zevico]

As far as I recall, if you have a Jewish grandparent on any side of your family, then you can become a citizen. So it boils down to proving that your grandparent is Jewish (or bamboozling your way into doing so).

[Heresson]

Originally posted by Azazel

I wanna be rich without working.
Is it true that if I become one of those ultra-conservatives, I do not pay taxes?

Oh, but those aren't really rich. They just don't work, and live off welfare+ stupid benefits.

Enough good for me. Do they check, or do I just have to wear that black dress?

[Mercator]

I bet it should be really easy to get to Israel. Just do what that French woman did. Pretend you've been beat up because you looked Jewish. Sharon will scream murder and invite all Polish Jews over.

[Az]

I bet it should be really easy to get to Israel. Just do what that French woman did. Pretend you've been beat up because you looked Jewish. Sharon will scream murder and invite all Polish Jews over.

0/10

a) That woman wasn't jewish.
b) Polish jews ( there are polish jews left? ) are welcome into Israel at all times.

[C0ckney]

aryan virgins

[Heresson]

b) Polish jews ( there are polish jews left? ) are welcome into Israel at all times.

There are Jews left.
Ex-ministry of foreign affairs Geremek was Jewish
I think ex-prime minister Czes?aw Bielecki was Jewish.
Adam Michnik, the chief of the biggest daily newspaper, is Jewish
Jerzy Urban, the chief of one of the biggest weakly magazines, is Jewish.
Mr Edelman, the only surviving leader of uprising in Warsaw Ghetto, still lives in Poland and been quite active in politics last years.
Szymon Szurmiej, an actor, and a candidate for a senator seat from Warsaw...
and several more.
Actually, in last years, many return to Poland, also from Israel.

[Mercator]

Originally posted by Azazel
a) That woman wasn't jewish.

Exactly!

[Az]

There are Jews left.
Ex-ministry of foreign affairs Geremek was Jewish
I think ex-prime minister Czes?aw Bielecki was Jewish.
Adam Michnik, the chief of the biggest daily newspaper, is Jewish
Jerzy Urban, the chief of one of the biggest weakly magazines, is Jewish.
Mr Edelman, the only surviving leader of uprising in Warsaw Ghetto, still lives in Poland and been quite active in politics last years.
Szymon Szurmiej, an actor, and a candidate for a senator seat from Warsaw...
and several more.
Actually, in last years, many return to Poland, also from Israel.

Numbers.

[Heresson]

3 or 6 thousands. Very little. Most of them lives in Gda?sk I think.

[Whaleboy]

Nope. But my grandpa may have been.

[Kuciwalker]

Huh?

[Sirotnikov]

Originally posted by Heresson
Ana urid an amot shahidan fi masjid al-aqsa

This means: "I wish to die as a martyr in the Al-Aqsa mosque"
(al aqsa is near the golden dome in the temple mount).


Anyways - your idea of jewish immigrants as very rich is baseless.

The ultra-orthodox have dozens of children and live of welfare so they are poor. They get tons of benefits, but they are still very poor.

They also usually don't work, since Israel ties it to army service - you either "pray all day" or you're capable of going to the army. And if you want to work, it means you don't pray all day.

There are calls to cancel it, so even though ultra-orthodox usually aovoid army service, they won't have to drain the public coffers and could work for a living.



As an immigrant to Israel, and part of a large wave, I can tell you that immigrants get some small money sums and discounts but the language and life skills barrier is hard. Everyone like to exploit the new comer, using much worse tricks than a traditional "DL dance".

Many very talented immigrants from russia who were top athletes, artists and scientists ended up cleaning pavements and such.



You can gain citizenship automatically if you prove you're jewish or convert. Otherwise there are cases where the country can reward you wtih a citizenship.

Until recently you could also join your relatives here, no matter what nationality you were, but it was exploited alot by palestinians and non-jewish immigrants, and was disabled. Mainly because Israel has no limits on the economic status or criminal past of the new-comers. So many people pretended to be relatives or found distant relatives when they were infact fugitives from the law / dirt poor and so on. Those usually end up on the streets or in poor conditions and don't really feel alot for the country as it is.

This also was used several times to get suicide bombers into Israel (they found distant relatives in Israel, got citizenship and used it to get free passage in and out of Israel and smuggled charges).


I used to think that we have another way of normal emigration, but we apparently don't. We don't seek anyone coming here, but we're willing to accept jews, based on the idea this is a jewish homeland, and because we want to make sure no holocaust occurs again.

[Heresson]

Originally posted by Sirotnikov

This means: "I wish to die as a martyr in the Al-Aqsa mosque"
(al aqsa is near the golden dome in the temple mount).

Tab'an ana a'rif, ya ustaz Sirutnikuf. Haza mudhiq qalilan, a laysa ka-zalik?

There are calls to cancel it, so even though ultra-orthodox usually aovoid army service, they won't have to drain the public coffers and could work for a living.

Good.

[Asher]

Originally posted by JimmyCracksCorn
You mean you guys aren't circumcised? Ewww....

I am and I'm Catholic, its only civilized.

Civilized in a barbaric way...

[Heresson]

Circumcised children feel pain.