"I don't know if I'm in love with you any more..."

[Boris Godunov]

Guy, I'm truly sorry. You're a genuinely great guy and don't deserve any of this. I suppose the only consolation you can have is that it happened now instead of after the wedding, as if that's worth anything at the moment. I hope you can start to feel better soon.

[Dr Strangelove]

Does she have chronic Depression or Borderline Personality Disorder? They're not the same you know. Unless she fully meets the criteria of the later I'd be reluctant to apply that label to her. If she does meet the criteria you should back off now and be thakful for having realized it in time.

If she truly has a depressive disorder then it may be the disorder doing the talking now. The question is can the disorder be allieviated? I've had a number of patients who I've treated successfully, and I've had others who didn't do very well. One of the key factors is whether or not the patient will work with me, which often means giving each medicine time to work, then giving an adequate report to me on how well the medication is working. After that the patient needs to trust me enough to allow me to adjust the dose or change medicines. Counselling is often quite usefull too, especially with respect to teaching the patient to recognize the symptoms of the disease and to acquire at least some measure of objectivity towards the disease.

[Guynemer]

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
Does she have chronic Depression or Borderline Personality Disorder? They're not the same you know. Unless she fully meets the criteria of the later I'd be reluctant to apply that label to her. If she does meet the criteria you should back off now and be thakful for having realized it in time.

My fiancee has chronic depression. My sister-in-law is the one who is Borderline.

If she truly has a depressive disorder then it may be the disorder doing the talking now. The question is can the disorder be allieviated? I've had a number of patients who I've treated successfully, and I've had others who didn't do very well. One of the key factors is whether or not the patient will work with me, which often means giving each medicine time to work, then giving an adequate report to me on how well the medication is working. After that the patient needs to trust me enough to allow me to adjust the dose or change medicines. Counselling is often quite usefull too, especially with respect to teaching the patient to recognize the symptoms of the disease and to acquire at least some measure of objectivity towards the disease.

She doesn't have a counsellor. She's tried Elavil, Wellbutrin, Paxil, and Effexor to various effect. On Effexor now. The idea that perhaps the depression is taking control, coupled with all the stress, has been advanced to her by a few people--me, her parents, the therapist we saw yesterday, and I imagine her friends as well. She says she is feeling better now that she's said everything, and has made up her mind that it is over.

She's spending the weekend at her parents' house. I honestly don't know what to do with myself.

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by Guynemer


My fiancee has chronic depression. My sister-in-law is the one who is Borderline.



She doesn't have a counsellor. She's tried Elavil, Wellbutrin, Paxil, and Effexor to various effect. On Effexor now. The idea that perhaps the depression is taking control, coupled with all the stress, has been advanced to her by a few people--me, her parents, the therapist we saw yesterday, and I imagine her friends as well. She says she is feeling better now that she's said everything, and has made up her mind that it is over.

She's spending the weekend at her parents' house. I honestly don't know what to do with myself.

There appears to be a degree of overlap between depression and anxiety. It's possible that she has resolved her anxiety over the upcoming marriage by breaking it off. For her perhaps if marriage = anxiety, then no marriage = no anxiety.
I don't know if this is going to help you feel better, but perhaps you're better off without her. She sounds like she would probably have been a high maintenance relationship. Starting residency and attempting to manage a high maintenance relationship at the same time may not be a very good idea. Residency is going to suck up a huge part of your waking life, somewhere between 60 to 80+ hours/week. I think that if she had not terminated the affair now it's likely that it would have failed within a year or two. Come to think of it the marriages of medical residents have a very high rate of attrition anyway. From my own experience I can think of only one or two marriages among my resident cohort that survived.
The most important question here is how are you going to manage psychologically?

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Spiffor
reading your posts feels like being punched in the head. I am really sorry for you, this is just a soul-destroying situation

Punched in the head? Punched in the head is nothing compared to this, man.

More like getting your heart ripped out and torn to shreds, your eyeballs gouged out, your gut all tied to knots, with a sharp metallic object impeded in your head.

I...feel...the...pain...

[Guynemer]

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
The most important question here is how are you going to manage psychologically?

Well, I don't drink, so that's out.


I guess I'll be forced to persue cheap sex with loose women.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

That's the sort of medical insurance that impresses me.

In the long run, this is the sort of thing that makes you stronger. Actually, that's bollocks- it makes you bitter and twisted in really interesting ways, and that passes as strength among those who are easily impressed.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

If it's any consolation, a medical man like yourself is considered quite a catch. There are hundreds of thousands of women moaning "There are no good unattached men!" even as we speak. You're now the sexual equivalent of the unified theory of physics, the cure for cancer and someone who can open pickle jars all rolled into one. Not only that, but you know where the G-spot is and what it's called in Latin. In fact, I'm starting to fancy you myself.

[Guynemer]

Thank you Laz--a hearty guffaw was exactly what I needed. And you were kind enough to give me three, plus a handful of good chuckles.

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by Guynemer


Well, I don't drink, so that's out.


I guess I'll be forced to persue cheap sex with loose women.

Oh, you mean nurses.

[Barinthus]

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove


Oh, you mean nurses.

Oh la la, nurses! Yummy. The next best to flight attendants.

Guy, stay away from the booze, ok? And if you do have cheap sex, use rubber, preferrably polytheure (sp?) not latex . Animal is a big too.

Remember, the best way to deal with your pain is to face it. But cheap sex until you're ready to do so

ha, seriously I sure hope you'll be alright.

This is why I avoid women with psychological problems especially bipolars

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Urban Ranger
Punched in the head? Punched in the head is nothing compared to this, man.

More like getting your heart ripped out and torn to shreds, your eyeballs gouged out, your gut all tied to knots, with a sharp metallic object impeded in your head.

I can't be emphatic enough to actually feel what Guynemer really feels.

[Urban Ranger]

Lucky you, Spiffor.

[Japher]

I can... Despite never being in his situation I can understand since I love my wife and can imagine what it would be like if such a thing would happen to me.

Thus, un-luchy Spiffor.

It IS better to have loved and lost... Yet, in Guy's place he still loves, and despite all that this will never change only make him stronger, and thus a better doctor

IMO

[Urban Ranger]

Japher,

I don't think you can imagine the sort of pain. Then again, it's best not to dwell on it lest we all sink into a blue funk.