"When I'm a parent, I'm not going to punish my child! I will gently..."

[TCO]

Wait. Are you a pretty female like in your avatar? I can act less drunk.

[Mazarin]

Originally posted by TCO
Don't get your butt all clenched Euro pvssie. I can tell we spent too much time protecting you from the Ruskies. they have more sac then you do. Decadent latte-drinking pseudosophisticates. A spanking or some belt-whipping is not some hairy big deal.

Whatever you're taking, it makes you much more amusing

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
We just had a big emotional debate down here about whether hitting kids is child abuse. The outcome was parents are still allowed to smack their kids with their hand but only on the backside or legs and only so as not to leave a bruise. The child abuse advocates got the use of implements like wooden spoons and belts outlawed.

Spoon? Why a spoon? They're so small. What if you accidently got it rammed up inside of some orifice? Would you ever be able to use the spoon again? What a waste. Try explaining that to dear old Aunt Tilly who gave you that spoon as a wedding present!

That's a pretty clear guide which most parents are happy with.

My grandmother used whip her kids with a branch from a cherry tree. That was pretty brutal.

Exactly how many inches in diameter was this branch? Anything less than two inches would be pretty whimpy.

[Alexander's Horse]

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove


Don't be so tight-a**ed authoritarian, man! Give them the priviledge of a choice, say between the leather belt and a nice wooden rod. It teaches them to be decisive. Look at me, it didn't do me any harm!

Also, to toughen them up, be sure to require that they not cry during the beating. Inform them that crying means that they don't understand and accept the punishment and that the beating will continue as long as they cry. If they continue to respond to the strokes of the lash on their behinds with so much as a tear or a sob, give them 10 seconds to stop. If they don't stop, continue the beating. If this cycle goes on for more than 30 minutes inform them that you'll be forced to escalate and give them another 10 seconds. If they don't stop crying then try shaking and shouting into their face. Toss away the belt or rod and get down to it - mano y infanto, bare knuckles baby. You know you want to. If it feels good just do it.

Hey Doc, did you ever resolve this stuff with your Dad?

Are you ever tempted yourself to be cruel?

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse


Hey Doc, did you ever resolve this stuff with your Dad?

I don't talk to dead pdople. 'Taint natural, and it 'taint healthy.

Are you ever tempted yourself to be cruel?

Nope. My wife is much better at it than I. I generally have to pull her off of the little 'uns.

[Snowflake]

Thanks TCO.

And AH, I wouldn't bother to try reason with Mr. Strange for I'm sure he knows what he is talking about. Especially if his wife would get cruel on him if he ever dare to touch a finger to "the little 'uns".

[Alexander's Horse]

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
I don't talk to dead pdople. 'Taint natural, and it 'taint healthy.

You can talk to the dead, even shout at them. Maybe you need to.

[OldWarrior_42]

"No, doofus, somebody else had a crap, I'm just holding it for them."


Laughed my ass off at that one.


Btw... I have 3 daughters.. 22, 20 and 15. Never hit them. They are great well adjusted kids. But I don't know why. Ask their mother. :P Because I'm a psycho and tried my best to distort their views on life in general.

[Alexander's Horse]

When my kids ask me questions I like to make up my answers.

Before they could read they'd ask me what street signs said and I'd tell them stuff like "that one says no naughty children allowed here" or "children not allowed to talk", stuff like that.

[OldWarrior_42]

Another true psycho, I see.

[Saras]

Originally posted by MikeH
Everyone knows that kittens like flying.

I'll probably be banned for this, but what the hell - when I was 5, me and my buddies caught Martynas (Martin), a nice kitten that lived in our apartment buildings cellar, and decided that Martynas is destined to be a paratrooper.

So we made him a parashute from a plastic bag and did a training jump from the 7th floor.

Surprisingly, Martin survived and ran away faster than any paratrooper would, and probably went to live in some other cellar.

[Alexander's Horse]

Originally posted by OldWarrior_42
Another true psycho, I see.

Yes

It was remarkable how effectively parking signs could used to reinforce parental authority

Another favorite "No more food before lunch".

[Spiffor]

I've never seen anybody yell at their kid for having had "a movement". I don't think it is natural to present a poop as a bad thing to the kid.

[JohnT]

You know, am I, MtG, and maybe one or two others the only people with enough brains to actually READ my OP?

Who the fvck said that I spanked Sophie for "having a diaper?" Not I, but y'all apparently read it that way.

Who the hell said this was a thread about punishment? Not I: The OP was pretty clear as to what this thread was about. Let me quote so that y'all can catch a clue:

So, all you parents out there: what was the biggest shift from the imaginary to the real that you experienced?

So now I've got some glorified babysitter with mommy issues riding my ass because they can't read properly, and a bunch of other apparent pre-literates who, for some reason, think that I would (or do) spank my daughter 'cause she took a dump. Even if I was such a bad parent as to actually do such a thing, do you think I would admit it on a public bulletin board?

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by JohnT
Who the hell said this was a thread about punishment? Not I: The OP was pretty clear as to what this thread was about.

Who the hell said a thread was supposed to stay on topic?